I am in a bit of a dilemma. My father has been diagnosed with osteoporosis and the ortho said he needs to be operated. Also, my existing house needs reconstruction, its almost in shambles. Now my financial condition isnt that great at the moment. However, I have a small house in the native, but it cant be sold right now (we received it as a gift deed so cant sell for 3 years). I feel like we can easily sell our existing house and shift to a different property. That will give us a brand new home to stay in as well as lots of cash in the bank account. But my family isnt doing anything to initiate any change, and is not going to support me if i do it on my terms either. I dont know what to do. My father's health is giving me chills and it has affected my work situation too.
I also have zero love life at the moment. I have no clue how am going to be able to set up my own family in the midst of all this
Okay so a few things spring to mind here.
Firstly terrible re your father, and I know you care deeply for him, but please recognise that the osteoporosis is not your doing. It’s a choice he has made at some level to experience in this lifetime. I know that’s easier said than done, and often when family members are going through illness its easy to blame ourselves but we have to realise we are not to blame for this.
Now with your house needing reconstruction, and being in shambles whats really good to do is to make a list of the things that need doing and do things little by little. Don’t expect to do everything at once, because that takes a lot of work and money but when you start out with a list and working through it – its amazing how this is a signal to the universe that you are serious and often times things start to readjust and reorganise to help you along the way.
Great re the house in the native. Now when you say your family isn’t doing anything – who have you spoken to? What actions are you taking? Sometimes its not a case of not doing anything but just not knowing what to do (I’ve found in my own family). So at times, I wrongly thought people were being unhelpful whereas in reality they just didn’t know what to do. I also built it up and surpressed it and exploded like a volcano in an anger fit one time (which I don’t recommend you do) but what emerged was that they felt they were powerless to do anything (interesting as from my perspective they weren’t at all). So sometimes its about having that discussion to get things moving too.
Now you say about selling the current property that needs refurb. Great that’s definitely one idea worth exploring for sure.
Now zero love life during this manic time isn’t a bad thing per se, but it really depends how important to you that is. For now, I’d suggest working through the housing situation first and foremost and do something that makes you feel good at least once a day (spend 10-15 minutes having a time out or a bubble bath or something that makes you feel GOOD). It sounds strange, but that gift of 10-15 minutes is enough to start the universe working with you and for you. And it will help you feel better too which is always a good thing!
Thank You London Guy. I agree that my family actually feels helpless to come up with creative solutions to refurb the house. It may help talking to them about it once again with a cool mind. Selling the current property is a great plan and I am just hoping that somehow the energy starts flowing in that direction and family agrees.
I also have been beating up myself over the finances, feeling guilty that if i wouldnt have quit my high paying job to get into freelancing, i may have made enough money to take care of him.
When you can't see clearly your path just go general, meditate, soothe yourself until the right path will present itself to you. Here are some quotes that can inspire you:
Such beautiful messages. Warms the heart :).
Also as has been discussed before, rather than think of this as a problem or situation, why not instead think of it more as an opportunity for growth instead and a place to use some of the tools you already know about LOA. That may help you lighten the load and stress when you think of this if you think of it as an opportunity rather than an issue.
I resonate with what you are saying. This could be a matter of co-dependency like laura says here, but I cant leave them alone and suddenly focus on myself entirely. I need to find a way to find the frequency of relaxation so I can find my way.
I can understand what you are saying . It’s a different thing to keep toxic people out of our lives but family is family. It’s a great feeling to be loved and cared for, it’s also a good feeling to do it for our people.