I have been married for almost 6 years and during that time my husband and I have endured some terrible losses and heartache including four miscarriages and never producing the child we both wanted so much.
I am still in love with my husband but he no longer loves me and wants me out of his life.
It has been so difficult to accept that I have been rejected and to let go but I realise that I need to otherwise I will prolong my own suffering.
Even though he has cheated on me and has already accepted this new woman into his life, I want to stay within my own power and make this separation as amicable as possible. On the flip side of that, I want to lash out at him and wreak my revenge but I know that that will not help and I will only attract what I think about or dish out to him.
Has anyone got any suggestions on how to handle this cycle of rage, grief and despair that I am currently in and to accept that it is over and find the strength to let him go and move on?
oh wow that is hard work.
But you already have the answers. You know that if you lash out you will just attract more of the same.
Be really gentle and kind to yourself. Allow your feelings and feel them then let them go. Try to think about him with the love you once had for him. If you practise what it feels like to have a respectful friendship with hi over and over it will soon be a reality or even better a new relationship. with him or with someone else
let him go with love
Tell him that too that you agree that it's over and always be awesome and relaxed when you are around him. it's bloody hard but its better than crying and begging in front of him... do that on your own and not for too long lol
i really hope you can get through this honey
Thank you N-Light.
Letting him go with love is what I am trying to allow myself to do but I am truly resisting it. I just feel profound sadness whenever I try to think of him with the love I have as I know that he doesn't reciprocate that love anymore.
Rejection is such a painful experience for me :-(
*I say this from 20-20 hindsight experience........a divorce 5 years now in my past, right before I started seriously studying this LOA stuff through the movie the Secret and then immursing myself in Abraham material.
Well, he's leaving your life because he doesn't line up with what you are vibbing deep down. Sometimes it's as simple as deep down he didn't want a child and you did or vice versa, or any other number of mismatches that were real but you may have denied during the marriage. Somehow your vibes shifted enough for him to start to vibe away to this extent, it means ....nature abhors a vacuum...there's a vacuum now in your life, one fit for the next or a multitude of other men who will be attracted in to fit those characteristics/the bill for you in the future. So you are holding space for Mr. Next guy, and he isn't holding space for another woman. He may have manifested transitional relationship or whathave you. Accept that those vibes didn't line up so he's breaking away but leaving a space for a BETTER FIT VIBBING guy in your future. Really, it's like I can almost say, Trust the Vibbes .....and just clairify what you want, segment intend, and be appreciative of anything you can in today so you also attract more of that good stuff into your life.
This is Abraham on dealing with a breakup...
Where you're at sucks. Almost anything will feel better than feeling hopeless.
Give yourself permission to feel ALL the rage, all the grief and all the despair that needs to dissipate.
Have you thought about finding his golf clubs and a few other prized possessions and torching them in his car?
Maybe we could have fun describing some nasty things you could do to feel revenge.
The video that Sweet Intentions posted, is GREAT
Seriously, get mad. Anger is a step up from being depressed. Sending you love and courage!
ALL IS WELL!!!!
I just wanted to give you a big (((((((((HUG))))))))))) I love you and pray that you heal completely, gain loads MORE strength and kick ass in this world.
You are so beautiful to not want to react with rage having gone through all you did..I think that alone deserves a trophy! I have no wise words because I already feel you are so wise and know so much.
Hi, I'm back to post an update...
Things have gone from bad to worse since my post back in August... he asked me to leave and he started divorce proceedings :-( and then just when I was going to return to my home country, we talked the day before my departure and he told me that things weren't as good as he let himself believe with this other woman (the old "grass is NOT greener on the other side" analogy!) and he wanted me to consider not leaving.
So I delayed my plans to fly home, we started weekly marriage counselling and it all seemed to be going ok for a few weeks before he decided he couldn't do this anymore. Meanwhile, he was diagnosed with depression, and our marriage counsellor suggested that because of his moods going from one extreme to the other, perhaps that was affecting his judgment? He agreed and we continued for another few weeks of counselling. Things seemed to be getting better between us but then he did the same thing again a month later.
We are separated at the moment but I want him to let me live with him again.... I have been trying to change my way of thinking and feeling, reflecting alot on how happy and in love we were in the past and imagining that that is how it is (or will be, with time and healing). It is difficult to keep my chin up and stay optimistic about our marriage.
im sorry i cant offer any advice to you, but i can let you know i am thinking of you and sending you lots of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thank you Emma that is very kind of you xo