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I read this somewhere and again, there is so much wisdom in it's simplicity, I just had to share!

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had drive 37 nails into the fence (oh my goodness gracious). Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was EASIER TO HOLD HIS TEMPER THAN TO DRIVE THOSE NAILS INTO THE FENCE. Finally, the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.

He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out, but it won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

Please forgive ME if I've ever left a hole in your fence.....

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hahaha how depressing!

I don't know if I totally agree with that metaphor. I understand the physical stabbing part, yeah, stick a knife through someone it is usually fatal. But with most 'verbal wounds' they are in my opinion more like punches. Yes they hurt for a while, but they can heal up fine. But psychological things can happen that can leave a wound that doesn't heal completely. That usually takes quite a bit to make though ;).
Ahhhh Steve.....

I think I was more drawn to the creativity the father used to teach his son patience and understanding and to value how the way he reacts actually affects him and others.....

Teach our children young and make their lives better.....
Good story, very symbolic. :)
This started out VERY nice, but I actually do not agree with the end part about "it won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there." This notion can create a lot of guilt for many people who have been harsh with someone and I feel it magnifies what being harsh with a person does. If a person gets THAT scarred, it is because of their inability to control their ability to stay empowered while being verbally attacked. I feel the way this is explained does not exactly send out the right message.---the wound is there mostly because the person didn't take proper control of their inner thought life---in other words "when you get THAT scarred over harsh words YOU wound yourself with your dis empowered thinking and you have listened too much to others opinions. That is the message of every Enlightened teacher I have ever come across.
Thanks so much for sharing Awesome and opening up a nice discussion.
I totally agree Tom - I do believe being truly sorry is the essence of forgiveness and I do enjoy how we, together as a community are able to identify the strong points of the knowledge we share here....

Love you Tom,
Thanks Awesome

The part about monitoring your negative behavior and becoming more focused on being peaceful was very enjoyable, that part I very much enjoyed.
I love your take on this Clarice, thank you!
I thought that was totally appropriate and timely for my experience of this life. I'm going to remember and share this fable a lot.

AWESOME to the googleth power, you once again earn my jaw-dropper award for nailing me with perfect advice for today.

the other Steve
Awe Steve.....It's always a pleasure!
This part “as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down”… is great …cause it showes we have to to take control of our own feelings of anger…it’s no one elses responsibility….. To understand this concept is a big step for anyone ......
Thanks for making me think about my own anger
A bunch of us at our spiritual school voluntereed last year to teach high school students about self development and during a session on building relationships, we were instructed to use this as an example...and we witnessed so much transformation in the next few days. It felt good and "we" learnt a lesson or two or three..thanks a lot Awesome...it was a good reminder.
Thank you Awesome! I loved the story...

I do not believe in wanting forgiveness. Being sorry is enough. I think that it is a flaw in this perfect system pointing towards superiority. I love the metaphor, but I think that those holes will only stay there on a physical level.

We cannot really be hurt, it is our egos that feel hurt, not US. :-)


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