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I read this somewhere and again, there is so much wisdom in it's simplicity, I just had to share!

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had drive 37 nails into the fence (oh my goodness gracious). Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was EASIER TO HOLD HIS TEMPER THAN TO DRIVE THOSE NAILS INTO THE FENCE. Finally, the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.

He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out, but it won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

Please forgive ME if I've ever left a hole in your fence.....

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Its a great story Awesome and so lovely sometimes to go back to simple stories with simple lessons.

I find I often get so involved these days in digging deeper and deeper for hidden meanings that I forget the simple ways to live life in peace and harmony. When Tom mentioned about people who get hurt having issues themselves, I thought yeay ...he's going deep where I like to go .... And it is true that learning about LOA we do go very deeply into ourselves and why we react as we do and how responsible for ourselves we need to be etc etc.

But sometimes it is good to hear a story or a fable with a simple message and just feel it in your heart.

My 15 daughter daughter came home the other night in a police car (...you dont want to know the whole story !!..) but one policeman while in the car, flippantly said to her "you dont deserve to have a dad". Now it was flippant and I have no doubt something in my daughters behaviour provoked it. But it caused one major "nail" wound in my daughters world. Her dad was violent and so is gone a long time now from her life. But she longs to meet him and longs for a fathers 'love". She is grieving over her grandad's death just two years ago because he was a superdad and a super loving grandparent to her.

My daughter cried so much that night and calling out that she does deserve a dad that the whole "event" that led to her coming home in a police care got pushed to the rear (parenting dilemma extraordinaire !).

But this morning I printed off Awesomes story and showed it to her ....and we had an amazing talk about how things said in anger can really hurt others ...she really understood the story because it was so simple (and because it was a Father and sonthing.) She hurt the police by her behaviour and they hurt her by their words. She finally understood how a flippant remark could wound someone in a way that it was not even intended, so she is vowing to "try" not to be hurtful to others from now on.

My fridge door is so full of anecdotes from this PI site tha I can no longer even see my vision board ...so now I have started publishing on our bathroom wall, jokes, stories, affirmations ...its all there And now your stories Awesome !

opps my son just had a suggestion that I leave a bag of nails and a hammer in the bathroom ...just in case ... now why cant I live in an area where I have a big field surrounded by a fence where nails would be more appropriate ! What in my psychi ....... oh Im off ..

love and light Gen
Awe Gen....you made me laugh, cry, imagine, pray, and smile all in the same breath.....

I love you!
hEY AWESOME great post.

Please be aware of a discussion that I´ll soon post . It might be considered a segue to L.O.A. In action that I posted before.
This one´s GRRRRREAT! you´ll see.

This is similar to something that I overheard about someone who was talking about gossip, and how it is like opening up a pillowcase and watching the feathers fly out on the wind.. the difficult part isn't ripping the pillow, the difficult part is picking up the feathers once you've said your piece... it is difficult to go back and right that wrong.
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Awesome you want some creativity?

here are some HAND MADE SHIRTS done by.... YES!! you´ve got it. Yours truly....

In my case it was not a matter of anger manageent or anything of the sorts.
plain and simple arts and crafts.

My sweet daughter has learned a lot from that and now we´ve another thing to share
Watch her here doing some painting...

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Way Kool Art! But ah, I should of known!
Thank you .

Yeah That´s one of my spare-time hobbies. also watercolour painting (watch the picture behind >Isabella) that was done by me it´s a watercolor landscape.

I also like to build maquettes, movie scenes for instance, (dioramas, I believe they call them).

Back to your post.

Yeah verbal wound could be hurtful but then again WE DECIDE, Was it Gandhi who said "NOBODY CAN HURT YOU UNLESS YOU LET THEM DO"?

Physical, verbal, psycological wounds IN MY BOOK are as powerful as i let them be. Or as inocuos which is the way I CHOOSE to view them.

What do you think?

As for the father´s teachings .... GREAT!!!!

Jsut the scars part hmmm.. that don´t fit me.

I enjoyed it very much but, like others, struggled with some of the message. Sure, verbal wounds to hurt, but unfortunatly, I think our culture has become too attached to their wounds. Life is about wounding and healing. Much better to focus on the healing than the wounds.
I too struggled, but I really enjoyed the method the dad used to address the anger issue his son had - the rest, well, we are good at identifying and pivoting from that of which we don't want, now aren't we?

With so much love,

Yes, I recently left a wound in someone I care about, I blurted something I did not mean, yet it came out.  I feel so deeply sorry for what I said. Now they are left with a wound and soon scar.  Learning self compassion.  I have really learnt from this.  Must think before I speak and question myself if it is helpful.  Remembering also if I do not have anything nice to say, don't say it at all.  I am still slowly forgiving myself.  How can I make this better?

I want to be kind, loving, thoughtful, mindful, caring human being, that I already know but out of frustration I said something and yet saw a side of me that was not me, was dark, yet part of me, ick

Hello GRL,

Let's take a look at what is real and true and what isn't. You said something to someone that you would rather not have said. You said it because you were in fear in that moment. You regret what you said, and feel sorrow and remorse for it. All of that is true and real.

What is not true or real is that you did any "wounding" of the other person. Remember, each of us chooses how we feel in each moment. This other person is free to choose to feel "wounded", and they are also free to completely ignore what you said, and not let it affect them in the slightest. You have no power or control over what someone else feels or thinks about anything. How they feel is up to them and has nothing to do with you. Ever. 

The reaction that you had which led to you saying what you did is indeed part of you. Until you let the fear go, so that you don't go into reaction, it will remain a part of you. The ways of being that you say you want, you have to allow that to be part of you. Wanting is not allowing. Allowing is allowing. Remember, you are not who you say you are; you are who you allow yourself to be. =)

Ross - Tolemac

Thankyou Tolemac, I keep rereading your message so it sinks in, as its true. :D


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