I've noticed one of the main "negative" emotions in my life is anger, and it can be triggered through any insignificant thing. I consider myself to be happy/calm MOST of the time, but if I casually think of an unpleasing past experience then I start building momentum on it and before I know it I will just be angry inside, even if the moments before I was happy and peaceful!
And you know what, I often create scenarios in my mind where I argue with other people about anything, ROFL! And that usually happens after a first bad thought. Usually when I think of something not pleasing I just smile and let it go, and it has worked most of the time (Thoughts aren't always indicators of our current vibration) but if that thought causes me to FEEL a negative emotion instantly, then I'm screwed lol.
What do you do? Do you just distract yourself doing something? Abraham says to feel generally bad about it and don't go too specific, and then try to reach for general good feeling thoughts and then specific good ones.
General (-) > General (+) > Specific (+).
But I don't know what a general bad feeling thought is.
Love this reply Graysen, and I agree about feeling the emotion without supressing it. I had been doing that but I guess the emotional guidance system thing by abraham made me judge how I feel because in the end my intention was to CHANGE it!! Bingo. I think emotions are indeed useful indicators but I should just accept it right away. When I did this the feeling would eventually vanish and very quick, I didn't even notice when it happened. Thank you for this worthy reminder!
Badass idea honestly! Thanks!
I experience this exact same problem especially due to family circumstances. One method I have used is to distract myself by changing my focus to something positive. I find reading positive success stories relating to loa really uplifts and elevates my mood. Or reading a book or something I enjoy. I found when i was watching too much trash tv shows and movies, especially gore that I was more easily moved towards anger, resentment, and other negative feelings. So i stopped all of that. Are you consuming negative images, ideas, movies, books etc? perhaps that acts as a way to keep your focus on negative feelings and so more easily prone to anger?
Something else that I do that has really helped is having a gratitude diary where I write 5 things each night that i am grateful for. It sounds silly and uncomfortably fake at first but the more you write and practice this the more honest you become with yourself and the more you are able to understand yourself, your feelings and responses which means the better you are able to be self aware. When you are self aware of your feelings you are able to feel them and experience them with less judgment/panic/fear/worry and let them pass through you quicker (in other words feeling the negative feeling) and then able to shift to a positive feeling soon after without just suppressing it by just distracting yourself as I was by reading or watching a movie etc initially.
Hope this helps :)
This complements Graysen's reply perfectly! Honestly I feel so good right now. I can accept that feeling and live with it, I used to do it and say "Well now what can I do to enjoy this moment?" and I would unconsciously and automatically look for reasons to feel better without the intention of actually changing the feeling and it would change on its own!! Ahhhh! What an epiphany.
TBH yeah I frequently check the news or focus on other people's criticism on others, and I need to remember it's up to me what I choose to experience in my reality. So they can just be, I will let them be, and I will only focus on myself.
I totally understand. Last night i was very tired and had trouble falling asleep so then I started visiting old stuff in my head and creating angry arguments with people for hours. It went on and on uncontrolled. It was so negative and self destructive and the feeling was so strong and overwhelming that I had to literally allow sleep to calm me because of the intensity. So sometimes distraction works but when it is a more mild form you can gently let the feeling pass through you, observe yourself with the anger, tell yourself "its ok, I am feeling this anger and it is a legitimate feeling that I am having. I respect and acknowledge this anger and what it is trying to teach me" as it passes through you.
But I think it is important as mentioned in the other parts of this thread to see the core underlying reasons why you are angry. For me the journalling has been so effective to start to break down and understand the reasons behind it.
Also I feel that we need to acknowledge that anger is an important feeling that needs to be felt and respected. Instead we have such a negative view of anger like we should avoid it at all costs. For instance with me and my culture, anger as a woman is seen as an extremely undesirable trait and I have been consistently told by my male family members that an angry woman is an unattractive and ugly thing! This resulted in me trying to suppress (its impossible to do) and so therefore hide my anger which always ended up erupting in other parts of my life, relationships and self worth. Now i am learning that when you feel angry about something we should instead realize that it is a wonderful opportunity to learn and grow in the journey towards greater, better, loving living.
Much love :)
Wow "Last night i was very tired and had trouble falling asleep so then I started visiting old stuff in my head and creating angry arguments with people for hours."
I always do that when I am angry! Hahah. I Imagine myself saying the worst offensive things and winning the arguments. The core is just trying to prove I'm right and they're wrong (Which might not be true/doesn't matter) So my lesson is to stop caring about the contrasting opinions, it shouldn't influence my vibration. It takes a looot more than saying "I don't care about others" because that is still negative (or undesired should I say?) and even though it may affect you less, you're still resented. It takes seeing only the good in people and loving them unconditionally, and just shaking off the undesired comments. Their intentions may not be bad after all and that's our perspective. Have you ever noticed how someone may say something you would probably consider as a personal attack, and then a few moments later they act like nothing happened? (and act kind sometimes) We should stop taking everything so personal! There are so many reasons to see the positive in people.
Much love to you too :)
Hahaha well see! you're not the only one then. We're both on the same boat. For me it is about showing them how hurt/abused/angry I am and how unjust what they have done is. But really it is a pointless, self abusing exercise that never- at least for me- ever led to reduction in anger or its eventual release. So stopping myself from getting into these spirals of angry arguments with ghosts in my head is my next step. This is where immediate distraction is an urgently needed interventionist measure lol
One thing I have found- having the benefit of removing myself from a lot of the people that used to hurt me and create anger in me, with the exception of my family- is that the more I focused on myself, the more i raised my vibration higher, the less what they had said or done affected me. It was a natural release! To the point where I was able to even send them positive and loving thoughts and vibrations and thoughts of forgiveness and healing! it was amazing! then I got sick and was in bed for a month, and feeling so horrible I was just netflixing horrible murder shows and soon enough i was in my rage again, but usually it starts with feeling low to bad, to boredom, to sadness, to depression then to anger. Now i am trying to get my positive vibes back up again after feeling better.
I also find going to the gym and exercising helps to release some anger but the other side is it makes me very tired so that then I am more easily prone to feeling frustrated and losing my temper. I am still working on it.
Maybe you can explore some positive and healthy 'distraction' methods to help you instead of just saying "I don't care about what this person said"
It also may help to remind yourself that when someone treats you badly or says something horrible and offensive to you it is about them and their low vibration state of being than it has anything to do with you.
Being mindful of your thoughts would be helpful. Once you start doing that, be the deliberate thinker of the thoughts and the creator of your reality.
When you feel angry, you are thinking thoughts that are out of alignment.
Dont dismiss your anger. Try to ask yourself what are you angry about . Regarding the past experiences that make you feel angry now.. take a moment and ask yourself- is it helpful for me to feel angry about something in the past? does it make me feel good? Is the contrasting experience in my past telling me about my preferences ..( if you are angry about a situation then you probably desire the opposite of it) if yes then how do I further use it for better alignment with my preferred reality.
I might be angry about anything (By anything I mean it could be something meaningless) or angry about something that has never happened and probably never will. But I experience this feeling of trying to prove my rightness, almost every time. I guess some things really evoke no desire from me as I might be angry about stuff just cause of the momentum (which in a good mood I would not be angry at at all), not because I desire the opposite. But when it comes to people I guess I just want to attract non judgemental, loving ones, cause I frequently want to let them know how judgemental they are, and maybe it isnt their intention, but sometimes it's about beliefs (You can't do this or that, etc) Isn't being at peace with the variety and contrast, and putting my focus on good feeling thoughts and things enough to experience that which I unconsciously desire? Isn't being at peace with the huge unwanted contrast being unconditional and therefore only letting in that which I like?
Accepting the contrast does not mean that you must not intend to receive what you prefer .
it simply means that when you identify the contrast you use that to identify your preference and focus on the preference instead of resisting the contrast and creating more of the contrast by giving attention to it.
Yes we want to make peace with the fact that there will always be contrast . But we are here to use that to our benefit. We do this by reaching for our desires that are inspired by the contrast. That’s how we expand.