About a year ago I started feeling restless in my job, I'm 26 have beeb studying all my life to be an architect, finally got to the point where id be taking my last qualification and I was like woah, I'm 26 what have I been doing all this time? just working for someone making them loads of money in a job that isn't even my passion. Then I was like well what is my passion? When I was younger I used to love singing and songwriting and it was always my dream... it seems to have fallen by the wayside for my studies.
Nearly a year ago I became really unwell, I went blind for a while and I am mostly healed now.. but it has left me completely agitated and confused about my life and feeling like I must not waste it. I want to quit this job and I am becoming pretty successful in a wedding stationery business I have set up which would allow me more freedom...
But its so weird. I have been in a relationship for nearly 5 years and its like I've woken up and thought omg is this forever? I haven't lived! I thought I would be settled now and everyone around me is and I'm not ready, he is a great guy and whilst I love him I am no longer feeling the passionate love I always imagined I would..
This is going to sound totally mental but I watched a movie recently and started to find this actor I never thought anything before really attractive.. like I HAVE to know him, like I can't stop daydreaming about him and being part of that world like I always dreamed.. I wish I was an actress I wish I was a singer in the west end and broadway.. id love to do that it would be so fun and making others smile would be amazing.. I keep thinking what if thats not impossible? what if I'm destined for that? and then I feel so guilty on my boyfriend because I am dreaming of a whole other life... and whilst I don't want to leave him, the thought of carrying on like this disappoints me.. and the thought of not having a love like I always dreamed, of not at least meeting this actor fills me with grief.
What is this and where do I go from it? How can I determine what I really want and how can I start to be more positive again?
I would greatly appreciate your help.
If you are confused as Abraham says go general. You still don't know if you want your boyfriend or that actor so just focus on love & excitement in general and d Universe will bring you your ideal match. From a practical point of view maybe you can tell your boyfriend you need time to understand what you want so you need to be free for d moment, here's a truly Great video Monkey posted today, it's really Empowering, and a quote 4 you:
I understand how you are feeling right now. I suppose most of us go through this phase from time to time. You are not alone.You are absolutely right, you totally deserve to feel satisfied, connected, thrilled, passionate about life . And because you feel differently about your past decisions does not mean they were wrong all this while, it is just that they are just not right anymore. It’s alright,everything changes with time.
Although these are two separate parts of your life- career and relationship, you seem to be feeling the same thing- dissatisfaction and a wanting for more.And because you are not sure yet I would suggest wait a little bit until you feel strongly about the changes you wish to make.
Just like Stephanie said, try finding the feeling place first and you will notice that you will feel guided towards taking the right decisions. What I mean is, stop and imagine what (job, relationship) you really want and how you would feel when it really happens. There must be a reason why you chose your current profession and relationship , can you still connect with those reasons? Are there any changes that you wish to make? You mentioned that you dislike working for someone, could you work independently in the same field? Does that sound exciting to you?
Any long term commitment needs work, we must reset/ refresh/ re align from time to time. Sometimes that is all that is needed. Otherwise we all will end up wanting a different partner or a different career every couple years. Nothing wrong with that if that is what you truly want.
Get into a higher vibration where you feel guided, you experience synchronicities, things happening easily, effortlessly, things that bother you not being there anymore .. I know some aspects of your life (job and relationship ) don’t satisfy you, let them be as they are (time being) and focus on what you like. Abraham has a great explanation about this process of raising your vibration.You will be able to tap into your intuition and know what you truly want.
This Beauty-Full Day
Oh how Light shines ever so bright
nary a shadow of but to cloud
Love's pure Light
Ask the Universe to guide you to what is really meant for you. If you draw blanks with your own mind and reasoning, you draw blanks with your own mind and reasoning - it's too limited. But the Universe is unlimited. It actually WANTS and desires to help and guide you, but you have to give it permission first.
Do that through writing a letter (which you then burn) or a prayer or something, and then trust that it is helping and guiding you. actively affirm this very thing, and then you will start attracting help and synchronicities which put you on your correct and true path. The career of you greatest good and greatest joy. Things you are really good at and really excel in, rather than things which just feel like treading water.
The Universe and your Higher Self know you better than you know yourself. They know what you are good at, what you are like, and the circumstances in which you will really prosper. As with a lot of people, this gets choked up in fear, and the focusing upon the present reality (rather than the reality you actually desire) and that is why we find ourselves in situations which don't really suit us. We want to be feeling glorious joy in our work, rather than stress, boredom, unsatisfaction and bland okayness. The Universe can guide us to this glorious joy, because there is an intelligence in everything, and an higher intelligence which we hardly ever tap into. When we do though, we prosper.
Thanks. That was a nice explanation.
It feels good when you are reminded that the universe is capable of giving you unlimited joy and abundance and that it wants to!