Hello fellow PI members and friends!
Prior to learning about the LOA, I was quite reactive to the external environment. After learning about the LOA and especially reading the posts here, I realized that I need to allow my feelings to be a guide and try to be happy as much as I can. However, I feel that I have failed and reverted back to my old state in 2-3 days.
For example, I have loaned money to a couple I know. The couple just celebrated their anniversary and spent the money I loaned them in a romantic trip and expensive jewelry. They also called me and described every tiny detail of their getaway. I am looking for a partner, and I felt depressed that despite having the resources, I could not share a romantic vacation with the person I love. Immediately after the couple hung up, my family called and brought up the topic that I was still single, making me feel worse. Then, the guy who was supposed to call me didn't, and made me feel even worse. I had a breakdown, and basically undid all my progress in the past 2-3 days.
I'm 28 years old and feel that I should be mature enough to handle these things, but it's exhausting. The guilt of not being happy also brings me down. I had a pretty bad emotional breakdown yesterday and cried myself to sleep. Many thoughts of self pity (I'll die alone, I'll destined to be sad and lonely, I'll never get married, It's useless trying, I give up, LOA is just wishful thinking, There is no point in even trying, God hates me etc). came back to me, that I have actively avoided and tried to control.
I remembered some guidance here that I should try to focus on feeling some relief when I get bogged down, and it took me a few hours but I managed to feel a little better.
However, this attitude of mine won't take me far. It's like taking two steps forward and then two steps back. I've been stuck in the same situation for a year, and I've known about LOA for a year now, although not so intimately.
What can I do to maintain sustained progress? It's ok if I make slow progress, but I really need some help.
This weekend, I plan to reread "Ask and it is given". What else can I do?
I'm really sorry if my posts are redundant or if I sound like a stuck tape recorder. I will appreciate any help with my situation.
Much gratitude to all.
Don't worry darling, we all feel stuck sometimes (or often :D and we are here to help & support each other. Yes, i think you just need to feel relief, as Abraham also says we can not make a big jump from where we are to where we want to be if we've not taken d proper emotional journey. So feel your negative states entirely until there's no negativity in yourself anymore, allow yourself to be natural and go with the flow and you will quickly arrive where you want to be. Here are some quotes that can help you a little bit:
Start telling a better-feeling story about the things that are important to you. Do not write your story like a factual documentary, weighing all the pros and cons of your experience, but instead tell the uplifting, fanciful, magical story of the wonder of your own life and watch what happens. It will feel like magic as your life begins to transform right before your eyes, but it is not by magic. It is by the power of the Laws of the Universe and your deliberate alignment with those Laws.
Most of you do not believe that it is your natural state of being to be well. Abraham
Thank you so much for the understanding words and the profound quotes. I feel so much better now and will focus on feeling relief.
Your idea about writing in a journal as if it were already true is very good, I need to start. I will start today.
By the way, the relief I felt really upped my vibration. I got a great deal (best deal in the market) on the car I just bought. My lease end process was also very smooth and easy. Thank you God! (God=Universe to me)
You said something key "came back to me, that I have actively avoided and tried to control." When these sad thoughts and emotions come up, why not try to feel them, without resisting them. If you let yourself cry, and cry it out, eventually there won't be anything more to cry.
Thanks Astro. The issue with doing that is it is never-ending. Also, the more despondent I get, the more I get sucked into that feeling, and before I know it, I am in a depression. That's why I don't allow myself, when possible, to fully feel these emotions.
“I’ve been stuck in the same situation for a year."
To clarify, “I’ve been judging the situation and judging myself for being in the same situation for a year which keeps me stuck.”
“The guilt of not being happy also brings me down.”
You believe it is more intelligent to judge and be rude to yourself for not feeling good, which keeps you not feeling good, than be gentler, kinder and more understanding with yourself, which helps you feel relief.
Here’s a post I did: The Road to Happiness Is Through Relief
Thank you for responding. I understand from your message and the post you referenced that feeling relief is the path to happiness.
Is it alright if I have some such moments of sadness, if I can get myself back by feeling relief? It is also what I did this time.
By the way, I am rereading "Ask and it is given" based on your advice.
Also, I realized that such low moments are brought by fear and thoughts of what if. In this case, it was, what if this stuff doesn't work and I die alone? I get more scary what if thoughts. How to deal with such thoughts?
Which thought feels better?
“It is alright if I have some such moments of sadness, if I can get myself back by feeling relief.”
“It is not alright if I have some such moments of sadness, if I can get myself back by feeling relief.”
Whichever thought helps you feel relief is Source letting you know that is your path of least resistance to moving in the direction you want.
Also, great job for reading, “Ask and It Is Given.”
The fear is brought by thoughts of, “What if this thing I don’t want happens?”
You can think, “What if I felt relief? What if I felt just a little bit better? What if I am being guided and loved by Source? What if I focused on feeling a little more comfortable? What if I was nicer to myself? What if I was there for myself? What if I gave myself the benefit of the doubt and was more quick to flow acceptance?” Those are better-feeling “What if” thoughts because they are focused on what you want.
“It is alright if I have some such moments of sadness, if I can get myself back by feeling relief.” - This definitely makes me feel better. I believe this is my path of least resistance.
I can also think what if thoughts focused towards relief.
But my question is more about what I need to do when the fear related what if thoughts come in my mind. For example, "what if I made a mistake" or "what if I never find someone" if such thoughts come in my mind, do I need to counteract them immediately with "this was the right decision" or "I will surely find a mate"?
For example, last night I had racing thoughts because of anxiety and couldn't sleep. Finally, I decided to focus on my breath and not think thoughts. That is when I felt better.
Do whatever feels the best for you. Think another thought that helps you feel relief, or focus on another subject the like bunnies or focus on your breathing or meditate.
Two ways in which I dealt with the what-if thoughts today:
"I'll bother about it if it happens"
"Everything is fine and will be fine"
As you have taught, I focus on feeling relief.
I have taken printouts of the emotional guidance scale and put them up everywhere. I noticed that the majority of my life, I have felt lower energy states when it came to the prospect of finding a new relationship. No wonder I have had little success. But as I always say, knowledge is power, and awareness of this gives me hope. Thanks again for directing to the resources.
I just completed one listen to the audio book "Ask and It is Given". They said that the end that there would be 22 techniques they would disclose to us, but the techniques were not there. The book ended. Am I missing something? Or do they mean the 22 steps on the emotional scale and moving through them step by step? I'm confused.
In the book there are twenty-two processes, one for each emotion to help you feel better.