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Hello everyone,

I've been heartbroken over a break-up for the past 5 months. 

I've been practicing LOA, doing affirmations, visualizations, scripting, I've watched every single LOA youtube coach. And my ex has reached out 3 months ago.

I was super happy thinking that I'm getting my manifestation in the physical reality, but everything just faded away when he said that he wants to just be friends and has reached out just because he wanted to see how I am. A week later I saw him with another girl and havent seen him ever since.

It's been 2+ months now that we havent been in contact or seen each other. At first I've tried to do LOA again, then exhausted and frustrated I've decided to let it go and stopped checking all his social media. I still thought about him sometimes, but I was trying to concentrate on work. 

Today I've learned through my cleaner (we both use the same one) that he is seeing someone else.

I'm absolutely devastated. That after all these months of heartbreak, LOA didn't work. It just teased me and faded. I was so pumped up hearing all these success stories from people about their exes coming back and them being happy together again. I genuinely don't understand why hasn't this happened to me? Any advice would really help...

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I joined this forum about 9 years ago after I wanted to get an ex back...I never did. I am so happy that I never did. The person I am now would never be with someone like him so all the efforts I put into getting him back worked indirectly since I'm now in a relationship with someone a lot better and better for me. Sometimes the universe has to destroy something to make space for something better. 

Totally!! Sometimes we think we have found the right person but we just don't truly and fully know ourselves and we don't realize we can have someone who is so much better! However if you are sure you want your ex there is the YouTube channel of a great coach that can help you, "Manifest Fast with Jasmine".

Happy Manifesting & keep believing in True Love*****

You cannot manifest for other people. Nor can you use the LoA to make others do things they do not already wish to do. You cannot change another's desires to match your own. The people in your life have their own wishes, their own goals, and their own lives to lead, and they will continue to create these for themselves whether you approve of them or not.


I suggest you ask yourself, "If the roles were reversed, and I broke up with a boyfriend, and I did not want to go back to him, would he be able to make me come back by using the LoA? Could he make me change my mind? Could he override my free will?" I think you would say the answer is no, that you made the decision because he was not the one you wanted, you wanted someone different, and that you could not be manipulated into going back through the force of his wanting you. Well, the same applies to him as it does to you.


Yes, there are stories posted here about getting exes back, but there are far more posts made by people desperately wanting to get their exes back, or who are in your position and wondering why the LoA has failed to bring their exes back. I would also add that while some people do get their exes back, how many follow-up posts do those people make, months or years later, where they are still happily together? I do not believe I have seen one (perhaps I missed it).

Where do you go from here? The same place you should have been going all along: toward finding happiness that is not conditional upon what other people do (or do not do). You have spent the last five months unhappy over your ex's decision to leave, and in needing him to come back in order to be happy once again you have only amplified your misery, feelings of loss, and longing for what is not there. In deciding you cannot be happy without him, you have not brought him back, but have only manifested even greater unhappiess for yourself, now that he has moved on. Well, it is time for you to move on, too. Certainly, you deserve better than to remain trapped in this self-imposed misery!


Is there any other aspect of your life, other than this relationship, that you have been dissatisfied with, such as work, education, or where you live? Decide what you would prefer to have instead, and put your focus and intention upon manifesting that. If there is anything fun you have wished to learn, go do that. Re-train yourself not to think about your ex; do not talk about him. When you find yourself thinking about him, calmly tell yourself, "That's done," and shift your attention to something more productive and rewarding. Intentionally seek out things and experiences, even small ones, that allow you to feel uncomplicated happiness. Do something every day, even small things, that allow you to feel as if you have accomplished something and improved your life. If you have friends or family you have neglected, or have grown distant from, seek them out and spend time with them (but do not talk about your ex). 

It will take time, but if you focus on cultivating your own happiness (which comes from improving your view of what is already present in your experience), the day will come when you realize you not only do not need your ex back to be happy, but wonder why you ever wanted him back at all. 

"That after all these months of heartbreak, LOA didn't work."

LOA is not voodoo, and you can't game it. It's much more accurate to think of it as a mirror (vibrationally, not literally). 

You' report that you were "super happy" "super pumped" thinking that the manifestation of your ex back was coming, but also report feeling "exhausted" "frustrated" heartbroken".

So all these mixed vibrations are in play in your reality. Were you truly happy and pumped and truly believed that you were getting your ex back? If you truly believed your ex was coming back, you would not be "devastated" that you have heard through the grapevine that he is seeing somebody else. You would just understand that your manifestation hadn't happened yet, and you'd go back to focusing on feeling really good. Your feelings about this manifestation of this current news is showing you your true vibration, and it's pretty low down on the EGS. You can say you're smiling, but if the mirror is showing a frown, well, there's only one place to work with that, and it's not the mirror. 

The great news is that you don't have to consider what other people want, or worry about their free will, when you're working with your own vibration. Their reality has nothing to do with you. You don't have to concern yourself with anything that they are doing, or what you are thinking they are wanting. It literally doesn't matter if he's seeing someone else and if he's moved on from you or not. Just focus on what you truly want (why you want him, the feelings you think you'll feel if you have him) and keep working on raising your vibration.

I can't tell you what will happen for you and him. If you will be together with him or not. The thing that is so very, very difficult to express to people in your situation is the very real possibility that future you of a higher vibration may not be a match for this man. He clattered out of your life specifically because your higher self is calling you towards something that is more aligned with what you truly desire in life, and there's no guarantee that he'll show back up again. But he very well might! Wouldn't that be great to meet him in the future from a state of being where you feel totally fulfilled whether he's with you or not? Wouldn't that be a relationship that would be very enjoyable, to just be with him because it's fun and feels good and not because if he's not there you're devastated and heartbroken? 

The very best thing you can do is align with yourself and how you to want to feel. This is the one and only answer, and when you really understand that, you will never look anywhere else except within.

When you align with your highest, the Vortex, or the Self, whatever you call it, you will get results that are in essence what you want. You may not want to hear that, you may prefer to hear that this specific man will come back to you if you manipulate the LOA somehow, but I simply cannot do that, and any truly skilled LOA practitioner won't be able to, also (unless we are trying to sell you something). It's not in our power, and it's not in your power either. What IS in your power is aligning with your best feelings, and the more you do that, the more you get manifestations that reflect that.

You've probably heard many times in LOA writings "Your power is now." This is the literal truth. Your power is now, it matters not at all what has happened, not five months, not two months, even a moment ago.

What has happened only matters to the extent that you use it to orient yourself to what you want. You can save yourself all the struggle, schemes, and forced effort if you align "in here" before making a single move of a single finger.

Your previous momentum has brought you to where you are. NOW is when you create future momentum. 

So right now, feel better. Right NOW, feel better. Your power is Now. Feel better Now. Do you see the connection? You asked for help in understanding. This is all you need to understand. Feel Better Now. Now. Now.  If that means thinking of you and him being together again, then do it, but only do it if it feels good. When it stops feeling good, don't do it. If it feels better to cry, or to hate, or to plot revenge, or to sulk, then do it. Always feel better, and if you can't feel better, than accept where you are until you can.

Again, pay attention to what you feel, and then reach for better feelings. That's it. Every single direction you can go in studying LOA will always lead you back to this. The sooner you stop orbiting and just zero in, the sooner preferred manifestations start finding you like heat seeking missiles. 

Perfect reply.

Thank you for your insight! I am trying to be positive and often I do feel ok, but other times I feel swamped with anxiety to the point that I want to commit a suicide.
Sometimes it's hard to reach for better feelings when your reality is just going the complete opposite way you wished for. 

It's genuinely hard to believe that he's coming back and ignore reality when he's seeing someone else. I just dont want to become a delusional person and living in the lalaland.

Okay so some things jump out at me.  Firstly if you have been heart broken for the past 5 months, then you are literally focusing on heart break.  So you are going to get more of that as a result is one of the key principles in LOA.  Now if your ex reached out 3 months ago, great that means things are changing.  Now the first thing to recognise is that if this guy is your ex, he’s your ex for a reason.  That reason is important to acknowledge and work out if its something that you are willing to change (or even need to change).  For most of us, relationships are a way we learn about ourselves and this reality, and they mirror back our thinking. 

Now the thing is, if you were checking his social media, your focus is on him.  Now that’s good to recognise.  It may be that this person isn’t the right one for you.  That’s important to consider.  We live in an abundant universe and no one has just one person for their lifetime.  Even with Soulmates, we have a potential number of soulmates. 

Now the other thing is you are super attached to this result of getting back with him.  This is why again your focus isn’t helping you to feel good.  Especially if you share the same cleaner.  For example, if you were in true allowance for him and his happiness, than you would actually be pleased he is seeing someone else and wish him well.  However the fact is that you are so attached to the idea of being in relationship with him (rather than the actual person he is).  This is something we are all guilty of doing (myself included).  We have these fantasies about what relationships are, and they can be that, but we often do so at the peril of judging the present as not what we desire and “bad”. 

Now you say LOA hasn’t worked.  It has actually worked in that you have been focusing on him and heartbreak and gotten more of it, rather than focusing on feeling good.  You see if you were focused on feeling good, then whether this guy is in relationship with you or not wouldn’t actually make any difference to you at all.  In fact, you would probably find that you would start vibrating and attracting partners more suited to you and your desires as a result.

We have all, at some point in our lives, had someone who desired us who we didn’t desire.  I bet you have had that more than once.  So think back to that.  This person could have been lovely, but you just weren’t into them no matter what they did.  That’s not unkind or wrong, it just wasn’t working for you at that point in time.  Well this may be whats happening for your ex. 

Right now, I would suggest making feeling good your priority and not focusing on this old relationship.  It will help you to start feeling better about yourself and life in general, and then you can start to look at why this relationship didn’t work out and then work out what you truly desire in a relationship and take steps to creating that (which will be much more fun!).

 

I am sorry to hear your story. It does feel very discouraging when this happens.

Since I learned about the LOA, I have had many successes and failures. I feel that LOA is not always super easy to apply. But whether we fail or succeed, it is always us. The Law is impartial. 

I don't know your background but in case you haven't, I would suggest you explore more about this law, the universe, your true identity and purpose. Just knowing that will liberate you from so many fears and insecurities without your doing any techniques. 

I think a lot of LOA teachers are all about quick fixes and short cuts. They do work sometimes but they dont create lasting change inside you. If you dont make the necessary shift within yourself, sooner or later your manifestation will collapse like a house of cards. 

I personally believe that the outer world is you pushed out. I have manifested several people to act according to my will. I manifested a promotion for my senior, several new neighbors in the once empty houses, compliments from my instructor, job at a particular institution, cuddles from my mean cat, all within a week to a month. I have a long list. 

But it is not always very easy. Especially when it comes to romantic relationships. The reason I tell you this is not to encourage you to continue manifesting this guy. I just want to mention this so you enjoy the comfort of knowing you can do it. Whether or not he returns is not important. What is important is how happy you feel. I know this is not what you want to hear but this incident is just a reflection of what is going on within you. If I were you, I would use this opportunity to give myself the love and attention it needs. 

When I came across the LOA I immediately tried applying it to a particular desire. I failed miserably even though I successfully manifested other things. I kept trying but all I got were some minor temporary wins. I realized I had a lot of resistance. I wont go into the details. But when I started looking within and made changes, I started to see changes outside of me. Initially, I thought that LOA will fix all my issues but it introduced me to a new and better way of being. 

I would suggest you take a step back and look at your life as a whole. May be take a break from manifesting or even thinking about relationships. Life is much more than that. And when you feel better in general, start from your core desires in this area: enjoying companionship, connection, sharing, love, appreciation etc etc.  Build a framework of your truly desired relationship without the specifics (such as wanting this particular person) and enjoy the feeling of it. And when you feel very comfortable and confident you can intend to meet this specific person( in case you still want to). 

Thank you for sharing this. It means a lot!
I guess I get quite frustrated when people say that it's very wrong to even want to manifest something someone specific as you're acting upon someone else's free will.

But you mentioned that you believe that you've manifested people acting out accordng to how you wished. So I was wondering: when were the times that you've failed to do that and when were you successful at it?

Tbh, right now it feels like I've done everything I could. And I'm so drained out I want to cry all day long. I've tried forgetting about him, I've tried being positive, I've literarily tried everything this life has to offer and nothing changed one bit.

Hi Ellie,

No problem, your very welcome.  Like most things, there really is no right or wrong except that which we create ourselves.  Even our thoughts or judgments about things as right or wrong are in essence where we created. 

When I created the situations where people followed my desires, it was really interesting as I wasn't attached to the outcome, which is something I feel you are still attached to and its such a key part of law of attraction.  Even Abe's book title gives us the clue or secret (i.e "Ask & it is GIVEN").  Sometimes what we are asking for needs time to manifest and so that is too an possibility here.  

You say you feel like you have done everything you could, well thats partially true in that you have EXCEPT you haven't released the goal.  This is  why you are feeling drained and out of balance ( because in esence you are!).  You actually need to release the "wanting" and focus.  You see, in the focus on the "wanting" of this desire you are only looking at the lack of what you desire, rather than having what you actually desire and so this is again, why you are feeling bad. 

Thank you for your response?
How did you become not attached to the outcome?

Did you distract yourself? Or perhaps you've manifested something that you didnt care if it happened or not?

I find it hard manifesting my ex cause I really want him back and I have so much anger towards him that he left me and he didnt fight enough.

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