Hello! I am new on this forum, and I want to try the Law of Attraction for getting my last ex back, and also for improving myself (all the aspects of my life, actually) during this process.
First of all, I am sorry if there are any mistakes in my English, but it is not my native language.
Second, I am also sorry if this post is going to be awfully long, but I want to tell my story with my ex, so that more experienced people than me from here, who have been using the LOA for some time with positive results in such a situation (i.e. getting an ex back, even if the situation seemed hopeless at the first sight) will help me in making the LOA work in my favour. I've always been rather pessimistic than optimistic in my life, I've had mostly negative thoughts, and this is why only bad things seem to be happening to me. I've read some articles on the Internet about the LOA, and they convinced me to try it, since it can bring me more good and beautiful things than I may be thinking right now, I want to remove the bad thoughts and energy, as well as my fears, from my mind and life. So, now I am going to tell you my story with my ex, and then we'll try to see what can be done.
My story goes like this: I had a boyfriend that I loved a lot. We were together for a bit more than one month (so a short-term relationship), but I developed quite strong feelings for him. Everything seemed to be perfect, or at least I thought so.
Our relationship evolved too quickly, I would say now. I mean, after 2 weeks of dating, me and my ex were so in love with each other, we were making plans about a future together (to a lesser extent, I also saw myself married to him and so on, but I had never told him this, and I’m glad I didn’t), we were crazy about each other. It was my birthday as well, so after 2 weeks of dating, I introduced him to my parents, and now I know it was too early for this, but it was my birthday, and I wanted my parents to see that he was a nice guy indeed. Everything was OK, we then had a walk in a park where we cuddled and kissed and so on. Everything was fine until 2 days before the new year. He started telling me that he cannot cuddle for hours, and that he was sad that we didn’t have too many things to do together, and that he told me these things so that I wouldn’t suffer too much if we broke up, and even asked me not to be too clingy when we met. And at the new year, he kind of ignored me… He preferred staying with his friends more than staying with me… OK, don’t get me wrong, I didn’t mind him staying with his friends since he had known them for more time than he had known me, but I felt weird because of his behaviour…
And yes, then he told me he didn’t feel the same for me any more, that he wanted to be closer to me, but couldn’t, that he could no longer say cute things to me, because he no longer felt like saying them and that everything had to come from him, his feelings for me had to come from him, and asked me not to force him to feel something for me, because right then he couldn’t feel it. And I started crying and asking him why, if I had done something wrong, and he gave me the “it’s not you, it’s me” excuse, that if there was someone to look down in shame, it was him, because he couldn’t feel something until the end, because he was confused and didn’t know what he wanted, because he had made me feel bad. And then he asked me for a break, so that he could put his thoughts in order. I gave him 4 days, and we talked after these 4 days. Only then did I realize that 4 days weren’t enough, and that he said that he had felt good during those days, because he was alone and could concentrate on himself more. I kept begging him on the phone to try and give us another chance, I kept asking him to tell me something cute, but he said he couldn’t and that we should just stay like this, so that something would come out from him in the end. I kept asking him for the same things until he told me he had to go to sleep, and wished me “good night” and hung up the phone. I asked him on social media if he had got mad at me, and he told me that he wasn’t mad at me, but that he felt like he couldn’t pretend that everything was fine for a while, because he would make me feel worse, and also told me that we would keep talking, hoping that he would start to feel something for me again, but if he wouldn’t, then he could no longer do anything about it, and all he wanted to do in case he could no longer feel anything for me was for me not to suffer too much, because he had been there as well and knew how it was to suffer a lot. He asked me to go on with my life for the moment, to concentrate on my exams and on other important things, because I would see if he starts to feel something for me again. I told him that I could somehow wait for him for a while, but not forever, and he asked me not to wait for him, and concentrate on my exams now, because this is what is important for me right now (I guess he wanted to tell me not to think of him 24/7, because it would do me no good). Then I asked him if we would keep talking and see what would happen, and he said that this is what we would do, but again he asked me not to wait for him (maybe he wanted to say again that I shouldn’t obsess over his decision, and go on with my life and see what would happen, and maybe in his mind, he may have thought that if I gave him some space, he may start to have feelings for me again, maybe he wants to see me as happy and positive as I was at the beginning, not as sad, desperate, clingy and needy as I was when we broke up and when I talked to him). That was the day when I decided to stop talking to him for a while. However, I had to contact him after 3-4 days, because I had a death in my family, and he told me that he was sorry to hear about my loss and asked me to stay strong, because I had to, and that he knew I could do it (that I could be strong).
Now that I think more of this story, I think that at the beginning of the relationship I was a bit different than I was towards its end (as I briefly mentioned above). I mean, at the beginning I was funnier, more friendly, more positive, I had a shy happiness and positivity in me that he liked, otherwise he wouldn’t have been with me, I wasn’t afraid of losing him or of him cheating on me, but as I said, the relationship progressed too quickly, so the fear of losing him started growing in me, and I became more clingy and more needy and more insecure than I should have been, and maybe this was the real reason why he broke up with me in the end: because he felt like I was desperate and that I depended on him, that my life was centered around him, and maybe these things scared him, but he used the “it’s not you, it’s me” excuse because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. And besides that, maybe he felt that I was afraid of losing him, even if I didn’t tell him that, but maybe he felt it.
So now, from time to time, I have a gut feeling that he’s starting to miss me (he didn’t tell me so, I feel it), while I’m slowly getting better. And I hope that the fact that he said that we would keep talking, hoping that he would start feeling something for me again, and that I would see if he starts feeling something for me again, wasn’t just an excuse to make me feel better. Of course I hope he said it to make me feel better, but I hope that he said it also because he’s thinking of coming back to me, but he just needs some space right now, some time alone in order to figure out what he feels for me. I mean, he had always been honest with me, so why would he lie to me now?
And after I told him about the loss in my family, I was the one to ask him for a break. I told him that the truth was that I needed a little time alone so that I could concentrate on myself and my exams and my life in general, as well as recovering from the pain caused by that loss, and he too needed some time alone to concentrate on himself and his work, and I asked him if he agreed with the fact of us talking after a little time (no limit this time) about what subject he would want, when we would both feel better, and he said “yes, sure…”, and I ended the conversation by thanking him for understanding, and telling him I had to go and that we would talk again some other time, and that was all.
And yes, I still feel the need to talk to him, I still feel the need to tell him about the grades from my exams, but I’m fighting hard with myself not to text him, and to concentrate on my life now, and let him come back on his own.
And the main question is: do you think he may be coming back at some point? Will the LOA help in this? I mean, we didn’t have conflicts, we didn’t cheat, we didn’t have a nasty break-up, and I think his decision of breaking up was quite rash (he said it wasn’t a rash decision, because he had been thinking of this for some days; yeah, they were DAYS, not weeks or months, and no signs of him wanting to break up, and, in my opinion at least, a decision taken in a few days – I assume there were 2-3 days, not more – is a rash decision, it’s a decision upon which one can change his mind if he is given the space and time he needs to analyze the decision).
And well, yes, he did give me his permission to talk to him if I wanted to, and to be honest, I was also thinking that he asked me to be friends just because he was used to talking to me, and didn’t really want me out of his life. But, before I decided not to talk to him for a while, I tried talking to him in a friendly manner, knowing he allowed me to contact him, but he sent mixed signals. I mean he would reply either positively (complete answers), either vaguely or he would just ignore my messages. The important thing here is that he didn’t ignore my messages from the beginning, he did it as the conversation continued. I guess I’m not that indifferent to him, otherwise he would have told me from the beginning that he didn’t want to talk to me any more or he would have ignored my messages completely.
And of course I know I shouldn’t forget about living my life and about the fact that I’ll have to restart everything over with him, that I’ll have to create new feelings in him, and therefore, a new relationship. I know it’s no use to go back to the older relationship.
Anyway, these days I contacted him, and told him that I had finally agreed with his decision of staying friends for a while, and see what would happen (note that I didn't ask him to be friends; he had asked me that before, and my instinct then was to turn his offer down, because I was afraid I would lose him forever if we stayed just friends; what I did a few days ago was to accept his decision of being friends for a while). I told him that I had been thinking of this from time to time, when I had some free time, and he was right: if we’d be together again, I want it to come from both of us following a friendship, I don’t want it to be forced or rushed, either, and that I actually like nice things when they come gradually and in time. I told him that I had been trying to analyze these things from his point of view as well (I was selfish then, I only thought of what I wanted from our bond, I didn't want to understand his point of view), and that we’d stay friends and talk as friends and see if there could be something between us again, because if we’d get together, then it’d be fine, if not, it’d still be quite fine, since we’d just keep being friends. I tried to be as objective as I could while, at the same, I tried to give my point of view about this issue. I tried to say it very objectively, so that he wouldn’t feel forced to give me a positive answer just to make me feel better. At the end of my message, I asked him if it was OK for him as well, I gave him the option to say either “yes” or “no”, I didn’t want him to feel forced to give me a positive answer just to make me feel better. And he said that what I said seemed OK to him, and that we had been like that (i.e. friends) in this period anyway. He had been seeing me as a friend all the while, but I didn’t see him as a friend… I didn’t see him as an enemy, either; I just saw him as a person that I cared about a lot, but from whom I had to detach myself emotionally for a while, so that I could think more clearly and concentrate on myself, and get to a conclusion/solution/decision that would be favourable for both of us. Then, I tried talking to him normally, he’d keep the pace somehow, but then he suddenly didn’t reply to my last message…. Is this confusing behaviour normal for him under these circumstances? I know that maybe I shouldn’t take it personally, but I do take it like that, unfortunately… This thing has also happened and is still happening with my friends as well (we'd just talk, but then my friend ends the conversation abruptly), but I don't take it personally with them, only with my ex do I take it personally. I know this (i.e. ending the conversation abruptly without an answer) may be also because he’s busy with his work. He told me this, and also the fact that he’s now busy with some projects he has to make and with some contests he has to take part in, so this could be another reason for his confusing behaviour. And maybe because he’s busy and because he knows that if we keep talking in this period, there is a slight chance he may catch feelings for me again, and he may not want this to happen now, so that it won’t distract him from his work.
And everything was OK during our relationship, my ex didn’t talk about any of his exes, he didn’t even give me any hint that he would miss any of his exes. And when he was on social media, he wouldn’t hide anything from me (he wouldn’t hide his phone or close the tabs on his computer when I was with him; he would even show me what he was talking to his friends – either guys or girls – so that I would laugh as well). The same thing went for when he was talking on the phone: he would always tell me who he talked to and what he talked, he wouldn’t hide anything.
And this week I tried talking to him again in a friendly manner. I greeted him and apologized to him if I was disturbing him, because I knew he is busy in this period with his work-related business, but I just wanted to talk to him from time to time, when he had some free time as well. He replied a bit later, and he was quite nice, I would say. He greeted me, and, without me asking him for reasons why he didn't reply earlier, he felt the need to apologize for replying late, but he wasn't at home then, when I texted him, he was out with the guys from his team to talk about stuff from work, and projects and contests and so on. I asked him something, then he replied, then I said something, but... silence. Mixed signals again, he didn't say anything, so he had his confusing behaviour once again. Maybe because he is busy, I guess.
This is my story. I've read a lot of things on how to get your ex back from relationship experts that would say the same things over and over again, so I decided to try the LOA for real this time, and let the Universe do its business in my favour, but for this, I need to train my mind to focus on positive things, to make me happier, to make me move on with my life, and to make me believe for real that my ex will come back. I have read, as I said, articles about LOA, I have also read successful stories (from here and from "The Secret" community) about women/girls that were more or less in the same situations like me, situations that may have seemed hopeless, others were in even worse situations than me, but (almost) all of them still managed to get their exes back, and had an even better relationship afterwards. So, can the LOA work for me in this situation? What can I do from now on to make the LOA and the Universe work for me? Are there chances of me and my ex to ever get back together and have a better relationship?
And I was the one who actually pushed my ex away, because of my negative thinking. As I mentioned above, I started fearing that he would leave me. Everything seemed too good to be true to me, so I started fearing that everything would end between us, that he would leave me in the end, and guess what? He left me indeed. I became clingy, needy and desperate, I suffocated him with affection in order to make sure that he wouldn't leave me, but I destroyed everything... Now I want to change my thoughts, to think more positively, and to bring him back using the LOA.
Thank you for your patience in reading this, and I am waiting for your answers!
May the good forces of the Universe be with you and bless you all!
If you want a magical solution , first you have to believe in magic.
Yes, I know I have to believe in such things if I want things to happen, but how can I do that? How can I train my mind to go towards positivity rather than negativity? I want to change my way of thinking not only when it comes to this relationship thing, but also in other aspects of my life. This is why I joined this community, because I've seen people here who have succeeded in such things, who have got to change their mind and become more positive about their lives, and all that magic started appearing in their lives. And after I read some successful stories from girls/women who had been going through the same thing like I do now, I started feeling more and more motivated in trying the LOA, it was the most convincing thing out there for me, their successes gave me hope that my situation is not as hopeless as I think it is. People have brought magic into their lives even in worse situations than mine.
Thank you for your reply, Graysen :) Yes, I know I have to make myself happy first, so that I will send those positive vibrations to the Universe, and to my ex as well. I created a digital vision board 2 days ago, where I put pictures and wrote how I would like my meetings with my ex to manifest, but I also put pictures of other aspects of my life, aspects that will make ME happy, so that I align with the Universe, and the Universe will help me in getting this guy back. And I can say that some of the things from there are slowly starting to manifest, which makes me really happy, and gives me even more hope that if I make myself really happy, then the Universe will bring my ex and other positive things when I don't even expect that to manifest, under the most unexpected circumstances.
And lately, this is what I've done, unfortunately: I pretended everything was fine, when it actually wasn't, and my friends and maybe even my ex when I talked to him felt that I may be indeed better than I was 3 weeks ago, but I was still sending them negative vibrations, and maybe this is why my ex didn't come closer to me, didn't really talk to me that much.
For the moment, we don't seem to be at the same vibrational level, since when I talked to him, I sent him negative vibrations, and he may not have liked it. Yes, he may have felt I am a bit better compared to how I was 3 weeks ago, but still my vibe was a negative one. So, if I want things to work out in my favour, I just have to let go, and concentrate on myself. Yes, there are doubts in my part about whether we'd get back together, doubts that I want to eliminate from my mind, because they do me no good. I have noticed that if someone (be it an ex or not) came back in my life, they came back when I let it go, when I wasn't thinking of that person (not too much, anyway), when I got to be happy with what I'm doing. While I was concentrating on those persons, they didn't come back, they even ignored me, but when I let it go, they came back naturally, I didn't have to do anything to bring them back, it happened naturally and unexpectedly.
Don't worry, I don't feel guilty for saying I have negative vibrations xD But if you want to, let's say that I need to send the correct vibrations to the Universe and to everyone that I know. And yup, I am sure that the moment when I finally let it go, and concentrate on myself and my life indeed, then the Universe will begin to manifest beautiful and good things in my life :) Ever since I created my vision board and I started being on this community, some of the dreams that I put on that vision board are slowly starting to manifest, I am given opportunities to manifest them, and they are things that would make me happy, that would really make me concentrate on myself, they are not related to my ex :)
Hope this video can help you somehow:
I will watch it a bit later :) And thank you for the link!
You're very welcome :))