Jokes And Fun Stuff

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Comment by Mikecycle is Gangnum Style on August 18, 2012 at 9:34pm

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.

"In this country ... we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives ...

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

Comment by maggie smith on June 22, 2012 at 5:54pm

:) :D

Comment by Dave Kenyon on October 7, 2011 at 1:02pm

Comment by Dave Kenyon on August 28, 2011 at 2:36pm

Comment by Dave Kenyon on June 23, 2011 at 3:27pm

Comment by Marcy From Maui on May 30, 2011 at 5:19pm

My Favorite!


A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a very mean looking dog on a leash. Behind that were 200 women walking single file.

The woman couldn't stand the curiosity.

She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

The woman replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my husband."

"What happened to him?"

The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."

She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"

The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two women.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

"Get in line."

Comment by FlowerVibes on May 30, 2011 at 2:10pm

Rene Descartes was sitting in a bar...

The bartender said, "Hey Buddy, want a beer?"

Descartes responded, "I think not."

And, with that:

POOF!

He disappeared!

♥ ♥ ♥

Comment by Dave Kenyon on April 22, 2011 at 4:28pm

Comment by Dave Kenyon on March 17, 2011 at 1:38pm

Two women were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland ..'

The other woman responds proudly, 'Yes, I sure am!'

The first one says, 'So am I! And where about in
Ireland are ya from?'

The other woman answers, 'I'm from Dublin , I am.'

The first one responds, 'So, am I!! And what street did you live on in Dublin ?'

The other woman says, 'A lovely little area. It was in
the west end. I lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town.'

The first one says, 'Faith, and it's a small world. So did I! So did I! And what school did ya go to?'

The other woman answers, 'Well now, I went to Holy
Heart of Mary, of course.' The first one gets really excited and says, 'And so did I! Tell me, what year did you graduate?'

The other woman answers, 'Well, now, let's see. I
graduated in 1964.' The first woman exclaims, 'The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight! Can you believe it? I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 me self!'

About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer.

Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael shaking his head and mutters, 'It's going to be a long night tonight.'

Michael asks, 'Why do you say that, Brian?'

Brian answers, 'The Murphy twins are drunk again.'

Comment by Dave Kenyon on February 24, 2011 at 12:32pm

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