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Trying to limit anybody about anything defies the Laws of the Universe. It
cannot be done. You cannot control others but you can control, and create your
own reality.

Well Being Cards

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The thing that most people do not understand, is that you get to
control the way you feel, because you get to choose the thoughts you
think.

Most people think that they only have the option of responding
to the circumstances that surround them. And that's what makes them
attempt the impossible, which is to control the circumstances around
them, which only feeds their feeling of frustration and vulnerability,
because it doesn't take very much life experience to discover you can't
control all of those circumstances.

But you can control your vibration.

And when you control your vibration, you've controlled everything that
has anything to do with you.

El Paso, TX — 3/28/02 Oct/Nov/Dec. 2002 Newsletter Abraham-Hicks
Publications
Once you have conceived it, it is done. And therefore, you can relax and
release all control.

An in the releasing all control, and [releasing] awareness of its absence of
doneness, it is done on EVERY level and now you feel good.

San Francisco 8/9/08
When you feel that something is wrong, there isn't anything to do about it
other than make yourself stop feeling that something is wrong.

Now stay with us for just a little bit, because this is really important.

You see, still with all that you are coming to know about Deliberate
Creation, still what's stuck in so many of your vibrational craws is: "I
still need to control something. The circumstances need to be adjusted in
order for things to go well for me."

That is never, never, NEVER true!!!

ALL you have to do is adjust your vibration.

And so Esther would complain, and this is the deeper and deeper level. She
would complain:

"It's hard to feel good when I see they are doing things wrong." And then
she would take it deeper and say, "But it's hard to feel good when I FEEL
they are doing things wrong."

Are you staying with us here?

And what we are saying is: It might be hard to feel better when you are
seeing things that are going wrong. And it might be hard to feel better
when you feel things are going wrong.

But get off the belief system that says, "I've got to fix what's wrong
before I can feel better." and find a way of feeling better before
anything's fixed.

And if you can find a way of feeling better before any of those things are
fixed, Law of Attraction will fix those things. But UNTIL you can find a
way of feeling better before any of those things are fixed, Law of
Attraction cannot fix those things!

And people who can't buck your current will behave exactly in opposition to
how you think they should behave. Not because they don't like you and not
because they are being bad to you, but because they are swept up on the
current of your vibration and they are co-creating with you on a level that
is not satisfactory to you.

And that feeling in your gut is about your separation from who you really
are and what you really want.

It doesn't have anything to do with them.
It doesn't have anything to do with the circumstances.

Can you FEEL this???

It's ALL about cleaning up your vibration.

Why?

To make your bus right?

No!

To make people like you?

NO!

To make them do a better job?

NO!!!

Clean up your vibration because it's the ONLY way you will EVER feel good.

Clean it up because you want to feel good.

We want you all to realize you've got to make your vibrational adjustment
for one selfish, singular reason. The vibrational adjustment just FEELS
better.


[And then they told more of the story about them driving the bus away and
discovering it still wasn't near right and asking them to come to fix it on
the road, and they refused. And Jerry tried to encourage Esther to feel
better and she said, "It's just TOO HARD." And then when Jerry was on the
phone with them she heard Jerry say, ]


"We GIVE UP!"

And when Esther heard him say, "We give up" she said, "We give up! We give
up! Uncle, Uncle, Uncle, Uncle, Uncle, Uncle, Uncle!' You win! You win!!!
We give up. We give up! We give up! We give up! We give up!"

What are you giving up?

Are you giving up your desire? Can't do that!

Are you giving up what's in your Vibrational Escrow? That's not even
possible, you put it there for all eternity!

What are you giving up?

We are giving up our belief that we can get to where we want to be by
controlling YOU! We give up. We give up!

Ooooooooooooo, it feels so good to give up! We'll just drive this bus until
it won't move forward. We'll just point it toward San Francisco, and we'll
just keep going...

And then the indicator lights went off. And then the phone rang and the man
said, "Where are you? We'll meet you, where are you?"

And Esther said, "Gee! We should have given up 3 weeks ago! We should have
given up a long time ago."

And we say, "Just give it up!"

San Francisco 8-9-08
She cannot control their vibration. She cannot control their behavior. She
cannot control their attitudes. She cannot control THEM.

BUT...

She can control her own vibration.

She's got to tell a bigger story. She's got to tell a deeper story. She's
got to get beyond the peripheral. She's got to get deeper into the
relationship experience with other people.

She's got to get into THIS, this is where she's got to get to, and maybe
some of you are having some of the same experiences. If you weren't, we
would not be telling you this story.

The rich are getting richer. The poor are getting poorer. The sick are
getting sicker and the well are getting weller. The confused are more
confused, and the clear are more clear minded. There is becoming a bigger
and bigger crevasse between the vibrational differences. And until you
accept what's happening to you, not matter what it is, hasn't got anything
to do with anyone or anything else, it's all about YOU, then you dig into
the vibrational countenance you're offering by caring about how you feel
when you think about it.

Before you know it, you can get to the place where everything will move
forward as the larger part of you already has.

Creation is about closing the vibrational gap. You see, creation isn't
about wanting something and getting it. It's about the movement, the life
that you live between where you are and it.

That's why as soon as you get to where you think you want to be, a whole
other set of things that you desire opens up before you.

San Francisco 8/9/08
"Just describe it until it moves you emotionally and then the Universe
has to deliver it to you. You've been a little too practical, we want
you to stop facing reality. Get over that what-is-itis and start
telling it as you want it to be. Your stories must be based on how
you want it to be, not how things are. That's the way you give up
control. When you talk about how things are, you can't help but try
to get in there and figure out what to do about it. When you tell the
story of what's becoming, you give up control of what is because you
can't be out there in your future controlling it. It will
automatically cause you to release those gripping, resistant,
controlling hands and it put you in the care of the universal forces
that create worlds."

San Francisco, 8/10/08
"What's stuck in so many of your vibrational craws is, 'I still need
to control something. The circumstances need to be adjusted in order
for things to go well for me,' and that is never, never, never, never
true. All you have to adjust is your vibration...

It might be hard to feel better when you see things that are wrong,
and it might be hard to feel better when you feel things are going
wrong, but get off this belief system that says, 'I've got to fix
what's wrong before I can feel better,' and find a way of feeling
better before anything's fixed. And if you can find a way of feeling
better before anything is fixed, Law of Attraction will fix those things."

San Francisco, 8/9/09
If you knew your potential to feel good, you would ask no one to be
different so that you could feel good.

You would free yourself of allof that cumbersome impossibility of needing to control the world or control your mate ... you're the only one who can control your reality.

For no one else can think for you. No one else can do it. It is only you. Every bit of it, you.
We want you to practise the thoughts that are so matching to the clear-minded, healthy, prosperous, loving, loved being that you really are, that when you look into your environment, whether it's up close to you or on a more global scale, and you see things that you just know are not the way you want them to be, you just sort of stand back in sort of amazement for a moment as you remember, that's not the way it is supposed to be, and then you turn your attention to the way it really is supposed to be, and to the way that it really is.
And in time, it is our promise to you, that no matter what's happening in the environment close or far from you, you will stand in such a vibrational stable footing that you will not feel insecurity about things that you can do nothing about. Because you will come to realize that the things that you can do nothing about have nothing to do with you.
If you can do nothing about it, it doesn't matter. You can change the way you feel. That matters. Because that's your point of attraction.
You can't change the way someone else feels. That doesn't matter. Because their point of attraction doesn't have anything to do with you.
Yo CAN change what YOU DO, what YOU SAY, what YOU THINK. That has a great deal to do with you. Because that's your vibration, that's your point of attraction.
You can't change what somebody else thinks. But that doesn't matter. Because that doesn't have anything to do with you.
You want to be aware of the vibration that you're offering. Which means, you want to be aware of the way you're feeling. And you want to be in control of the vibration that you're offering, which means, you want to be in control of the way that you're feeling. But you will never be in control of the way others are feeling. And you will never be in control of their vibration. And it does not matter. Because that's their point of attraction, not your point of attraction.

~Abraham Hicks~
Your emotions are your feedback about your vibrational state of being. Your emotions are your indication of the relationship between the two perspectives that really you are about.
If [doctors] understood your guidance system, they would never scare you. They wouldn't hold up those tests and x-rays in their attempt to face reality. They'd be telling you that it's possible to get to where you want to be, because in hope you're moving toward the resolution that you're seeking, and in fear you're moving in opposition.
What happens to so many humans is, they've become adjusted to just looking at circumstances, and sorting them out, and putting them in wanted piles and unwanted piles. And they've come to believe that they have no control over the piles. That the piles just are, that things just happen, that reality just is. And the best way that they use their emotions is just in response to what they're observing. So, good things make them feel good, and bad things make them feel bad. And then they attempt the impossible - they run around and spend their entire lives trying to control conditions, so that they can have more good feeling conditions and fewer bad feeling conditions. And we say, please, give that up. And right away. Because you cannot control those conditions. But you can control your vibrational relationship. You can choose thoughts that cause you to move in the direction of who you really are.
You don't need to do anything to move toward what you want other than stop doing that thing you're doing that's got you pointed in the opposite direction. If you would just stop doing that thing you're doing, the current would take you swiftly and directly to the completion of things that you've been asking for. However, the stream will never stop flowing, and life will never stop giving you more things that you want. There will never be a time when you will say, "Everything that life has caused me to want has become". Because you, we, are all eternal beings, which means, we will constantly be because of those like you, out here on the leading edge discovering through the contrast new preferences. And those new preferences are what puts the eternalness in eternity.
Through what you're living Source is extending and calling you toward that which you have caused Source to extend to. What are you doing about allowing yourself to receive the fulfillment of that extension?
No matter how bad you feel, in the moment that you consciously decide, "I could feel better, if I would just stop the struggle. I could feel better, if I would just stop the struggle", in the moment that you do that, you feel better. And the current begins to take you.
Release control of those conditions and others, and start controlling one thing and one thing ONLY , which is the direction of your canoe. Control the direction, or the connection, between you and you. And as you set your sights on that, what that translates to is, "Nothing is more important than that I feel good, so right here and now, in the middle of whatever I'm living, I'm gonna reach for the best feeling thought I can find". And as you decide that, you'll begin to move in the direction of Source, who is calling you eternally.
Because of your determination to be right in your pushing against those who are wrong, you're paddling upstream, and you're not part of the solution, you're still part of inflaming the problem, you see.
Future generations are already up to speed with that which your life has caused to give birth to. <...> Why not you and why not now? Why not let yourself go and be a vibrational match to what your life has carved out for you?
This is the thing that we really want you to hear - the better feeling emotion is a relative term. Because, better than what? Better than that guy feels? Or better than that guy feels? Or better than I used to feel? No. Now, right now, better than I felt just now. Just now. Now, right now, where all of my power is. Right now where your turning power is. Turning in the direction of the flow or against the flow. So, the choice is very simple - the thought that feels better or the thought that feels worse.

Abraham, 2006-05-30, Buffalo, NY
Yes, it is an eye opener..we cannot control others and just as important...others cannot control us....that is an important concept...yet many of us "give" others permission to control or exert control in our lives.
What do I do when I have to be diplomatic and allow people who make comments
that
make me feel criticized? they say ive done something wrong, or i'm not being
responsible enough, and I didn't do this or that by a certain time...

Abraham:
ok so someone criticizes you for a certain behavior, and as you are criticized,
you feel bad..now why do you think you feel bad?

Because it is not the truth?

Abraham: You see, this is the thing, you think you feel bad because their
misunderstanding you, and judging you, incorrectly, but the reason you feel bad,
is because you are judging them about their judging. Lets go after that again..
lets say someone is having a bad day, you dont know why but they are, they
usually do..and you are interacting with them in some way-and now their bad day
is spilling over into your experience, and you were feeling good till their bad
day spilled over into your experience, and now you aren't having as good of a
day as you were before-well the reason you feel bad, is because you gave them
your power.
You've said, I can't feel good as long as your feeling like that,
and I can't control the way your wife treats you, or that your deep in debt, and
your children don't like you, I can't control all those things in your life that
are spilling over into my experience, and so, I feel bad cause you feel bad..and
we are saying to you, is that you feel bad is because your letting that
condition run your life. A condition of which you have no control.. step back
and say, WAIT a minute, i'm not feeling bad because you don't like me, i'm
feeling bad
because I don't like you not liking me!
i'm feeling bad because I care more about you then closing my gap! I've trained
myself to care more about YOUR response to me, then MY response to ME??

What does my inner being think about YOU? my inner being wants your life to get
better, and my inner being understands that your having a bad day, and my inner
being knows that in the bad day your living, you've put a bunch of stuff in your
escrow, and our inner beings are both over there.

You are a lover - YOU MUST LOVE

so say, inner being - I must know what you think about this..

SOURCE will say:: I see not that, we do not give our attention to their negative
aspects.
We always give our attention to the progressive being that everyone IS BECOMING!

YOU my dear, are stuck in the contrast, you see you wanted the contrast to help
you
expand but you never intended to beat the drum of what is not wanted in order to
defend or justify the having of what is wanted.

You've got no choice if you are to feel good, other then to go to where the good
is.

workshop: Fort Lauderdale, FL 02-04-2008
(Example 15 - My Mate Controls Me and I Feel Smothered)



No matter how intensely intertwined you find yourself with another
person, your relationship is affected many times more by the thoughts
that are moving around in your own mind than by the other person who is
moving around in your house or in your life experience. That is why it
is so interesting to us to see people working so hard at controlling one
another while working very little on controlling their own thoughts and
perceptions --- especially since they have no real control over another
and they do have complete control of their own thoughts and perceptions.

People often believe that they would feel so much better if their mate
would just change in this way or that way, but that truly is a backward
approach to things. When you say, "I'll feel better if you will make
this change in your behavior or personality", what you are actually
saying is, "My happiness is dependent upon your willingness and ability
to modify your behavior; therefore I am powerless." The reason why so
many people are so hard on those they live or interact with is because
everyone inherently wants to be happy, but they also believe that their
happiness is dependent upon things over which they have no control.

In the beginning of most new relationships, things go along rather well,
since both of you are predominantly looking for positive aspects of the
other. And, in the beginning, both of you are unnaturally forcing
yourself to work harder at pleasing the other. But when you behave from
the vantage point of trying to please another rather than from the point
of personal alignment, you set yourself up for a great moment of
trouble, for it is not possible to hold someone else's desires as the
center of your attention, because as a creator, you simply are not wired
that way.

By trying to please others, you encourage the distorted idea that
someone else is responsible for their happiness, which, in the long run,
disempowers them and makes them unhappy. We could accurately say that
the harder you try to make others happy, the more unhappy they become
because they are dependent on behavior outside of themselves over which
they have no control rather than being in alignment within themselves,
over which they have complete control.

So, by holding your mate as your object of attention --- telling
yourself how much you love her and how important it is to you that she
is happy --- and then by trying to control her happiness through your
actions, it is no wonder that you feel smothered, because this
impossible task requires an enormous amount of your time and attention.

Also, in most cases, the more you try to control circumstances in order
to enhance the experience of others, the more dependent they become on
your behavior, and in time, the more demanding they become. You are
innately such independent Beings that the more dependent you become, the
unhappier you become. Interesting, is it not, that your intentions were
to make another happy, but instead, you have encouraged less happiness?

Your only chance of influencing another to happiness is for you to truly
be happy. And the only way for you to truly be happy is to achieve the
state of vibrational alignment between you and You.


From The Astonishing Power of Emotions: Let Your Feelings Be Your
Guide, page 135-137

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