I am going through a deep fight in my brains for the various feelings i am getting at this moment. I want your help to bring me back to normal. This is my first post in this forum.
I had joined this new job few months back. I had a very troublesome supervisor. Every time that person would insult me or hurt me for one or the other reason. I am very bold and confident person usually. I tried to protest with the knowledge i had for few months. Later that person told me in a review meeting that i am having a bad performance for which i may have to consider looking else where. After this instance, i started dancing on the tunes of my supervisor. I badly wanted to stick to this job for various reasons. I used to follow LOA and started visualizing that things will change by December. I didnt know how, but had a great belief.
December passed, as i was behaving good with my supervisor things were just the normal. It was nothing great for me though. During this phase of following my supervisor, i also noticed somethings good about this person. I liked 50% of that person behavior too. Recently, a week ago(in Jan) my supervisor showed the same colors inspite of me being so polite and obedient. I felt so deeply hurt and all my good feelings about this person at once vanished. At that moment i felt i wish i reported to some one else and not this supervisor. I felt that in my office, everyone is so lucky when will i get a good supervisor? I also visualized seeing that no one sits in the chair my supervisor sat. Thinking that person will not trouble me.
Today all of a sudden i got to know that my supervisor has been let go. I felt so relieved at one point. But more than relief i am feeling so bad. Did my intentions of imagination make all this happen. So many mixed feelings. I am feeling so bad. I am assigned a new supervisor who is very good. But i am not able to concentrate on my work nor able to show my skills to my new supervisor. I am deeply confused. All this day my world in office was revolving around my old supervisor. Now that person is not there i am not able to work at all.
Please help me to come out of this. How am i supposed to take this without blaming me.
Thanks - Livelife
Its not ur fault.. I m sure ur old supervisor wil find another job for himslf.. U shud think bout urself.. U r the most imp person.. So dnt take the blame.. Use LOA instead to make more progress for urself, but 1st u need to concentrate on ur work n bring good results.. Ur thots of confusion n guilt wil rather get u into more trouble.. Take care..