Hi all, I've been struggling with something for a while now and feel like I'm at a brick wall with it, so I'm really hoping that someone might be able to give me some pointers or advice if possible :)
Basically to cut a long story short, I keep finding myself at the same point stuck noticing the negatives I don't want in my relationship. What tends to happen is that I find I'm constantly under pressure to remember so many things which makes it very hard for me to relax unless I'm left alone (things like bills, sell-by dates on food, timings for nappy changes etc) and also that I find myself being the one that's always running around in the house which then leads me to keep feeling resentment and anger at being put on to some degree.
Now we have four kids so it's a pretty hectic life on the whole and my partner does do things so don't get me wrong I'm not accusing her of doing nothing at all, just she either doesn't realise or doesn't bother about letting me do the lions share when we're both home. I want to pull my weight and the main problem is not that I want to cut down on jobs as such (although at times it would be nice admittedly) it's more about the point of feeling like my partner takes no notice of how much I'm left to do and that is what sits badly with me. When we're both at home with our 18 month old baby and when the other three kids are home, it feels like I'm the one running up and down changing all the nappys, getting his food and drinks, cleaning him up, running around after the other kids whilst my partner sits down. Then she'll complain that she doesn't really want to have to cook the tea either and it just starts to wind me up thinking well damn do I have to do that aswell. In a morning when we wake up I try to make it fair by suggesting that if the baby wakes up early then we rotate getting up with him, on a weekend we both have 1 day each where the other gets a lie-in, but again it seems like she never wants to rotate in a week and doesn't notice how many times I do it more without comment, and whereas on her lie-in she comes down to find all the breakfast dishes done, the living room tidy and nothing to do, many a time I've come down on mine to still have to do all the above. On a weekday when the baby does sleep until the alarm goes off, it's always me that has to get up regardless of if I'm tired, ill or anything because if I don't nobody will get up for school and nothing will be done on time because my partner doesn't get up until the last minute and if I stayed in bed then nobody would make school etc.
Now I'm not feeling too good at the moment so I've come very close to blowing my top a couple of times, infact in the past couple of weeks we've had a couple of rows over this which went nowhere because she immediately gets all defensive and blows up when I bring it up. We've had it before in the couple of years we've been together and even when she realises and does more or at least recognises it, it only lasts a short while then it goes back to this again and I start to get wound up inside about it until it blows.
I have been practising the law of attraction for a while now and it has helped me massively in dealing with depression and issues in myself. I'd say I'm in a better place than I have been in my life due to keep learning and practising as much as possible, but this is the biggest thing which holds me back and I can't see a way around it. When I try to discuss calmly about this with my partner, she'll get her back up, get all defensive and angry and just says things like "I'll do everything then" which gets nowhere because I've told her time and time again I don't want her to do everything, and she doesn't start doing it anyway once the row has died down, it's either that or "why are you here then" or something to that effect. It just makes me feel like I either have to shut up and get on with doing everything which makes me feel resentful and negative and holds me back, or I shouldn't be here which isn't what I want but I don't want to live feeling unhappy and like I'm being treated like a mug if you get me.
So going off all that and the law of attraction, how do I deal with this situation? You can't use the law of attraction to make someone be different to who they are or make them do the things you want as they are doing and attracting what they want, but what do I do with all this? I've tried hoping and acting like she will take note and try to change or at least recognise how I feel but I never seem to be getting anywhere, I can't let go of the anger and feeling of resentment deep down which is holding me back in being who and where I want to be in my life. I don't want this negativity anymore and even when things feel good for a moment it always seems to go back to this in time. I just don't want to feel like a mug and like I'm the only one in the house of six running around like an idiot while everyone else sits on their backside watching me do it. Can anyone give me any advice in what they would do in this situation or what they think I should do to best deal with it? I really want to deal with it in the most positive way I can without falling into the trap of getting full of anger and resentment because that leads nowhere, but it's really hard to do with the frustration behind it and the way it usually ends up whenever I do voice my opinion. Please help!!
Didn't read past the first paragraph because I want to be happy and seems to me Abraham would say something about how your making lists of all the things that are bad and wrong are just going to bring you more of them. Find a way to feel a little relief. You mentioned "nappy changes." I'm guessing those are diaper changes and I saw mention about kids so if you have kids in your life, they do things that spontaneously without obvious reason put a smile on your face. So think more and more about the things they do that make you smile. Think of anything that makes you smile. And if there's only one thing that makes you smile, think of it often. You mentioned something about being very busy or doing all the work or something like that so if these moments of feeling happy or finding something to feel happy about are only when you're sitting on the toilet, then that's when you do it and bring a pen and paper into the bathroom cause when you find yourself with a smile on your face, it's time to do a little scripting, prepaving and segment intending. If you don't know what those are, go watch a youtube video on Abraham-Hicks labeled scripting, prepaving...you get it.
Then write out how you would like your day to go. Write out small segments and feel how that would feel. You can prepave and segment intend for your partner and for your children too.
Most importantly find things in your partner that you do like and think of them often. Make a list of positive aspects about her even if it's only 3 things you can think of, put them on your list. It can be the way she brushes her teeth or puts on her shoes. It can even just be a memory of something that you used to like about her from the past. The way she held your hand during movies or whatever. Milk the feeling of that memory.
Ok lastly if you have an ipod or mp3 player, buy a downloadable copy of "The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent, Part II" and "The Vortex" by Abraham-Hicks if you can. And let that book play in your head all darn day if you can. Or really as much as you can listen to it. (Again, if the only time you have for yourself is when your in the bathroom, then listen to it in there). If you can't afford to buy the books then just go to youtube and listen to them via a youtube video whenever you can. That's what I did when I first found Abraham-Hicks. I couldn't even afford to buy a book in the beginning. The thing about listening to the books as you go about your day, is multifold; instant relief, mood elevation, and amazingly effective processes that really work!
Rooting for you!
first of all i would like to say u cant change a person with the Law of attraction ,instead of trying to change the other person , let them be free to be who they are , and focus on all the pretty sweet things in life , let go their sins and bad habits , keep your eyes on the sweet stuff they do , i can tell that u only feel that way because you angry and its really hard some time to let go stuff , but honestly who care's about all that feeling if we truly in love with the other person , when they smile and when they look at us with their pretty tender eyes , all the hugs and all the other sweet stuff they do , do u think if u tried your best to attract more of that beautiful things that made full at the first place would u still angry ?!! no at all ,, so stop being down and go attract all the things u love about that person , and am sure u'll get more of that and all that bad things well fade away, you u know you are lucky so be happy about that <3
The key to making the LOA work is making sure that you let go of all the negativity. This is a difficult concept to grasp, but all you have to do is stop thinking about everythingthat's going wrong, and just get into a positive mindset.
The best thing to do is imagine how your situation would be if it were perfect. Literally close your eyes and imagine it. Then just open your eyes, and live your daily life, going through the motions, acting and feeling as if you are living that perfect life, and that everything is going well. Live your life the way you'd live it, if you had what you want. You'd probably walk differently, talk differently, do everything differently. Pretend you're an actor, but instead of acting fake about it, just make it believable to yourself, and KNOW and FEEL and BELIEVE that it's your life! It's a fun experience once you get the hang of it, and there's no limit to the amazing things you can attract with the LOA. Try it for everything!
Very nice Kay Lee. I am playing the "wouldn't it be nice" game right now and it's really a matter of focusing my thoughts and feelings on what would I think and feel if I had 5 million dollars in the bank, all bills paid off and house, car, clothes...for me and kids and dog of course happy, visiting chefs, one each week for a couple of cooking sessions. Some of it for pampering but some of it to learn new and fun recipe's of delicious and healthy foods to serve my kids and also to get them involved in the prep. Some of course to teach them how to cook and some just for fun quality family time that doesn't involve sitting around a box. Abe cruises of course and a couple of Abraham-Hicks seminars a year. One close to home for ease of access and one on the other side of the country just to add a fun extra excursion along the way. Meditating every day of course and at least one massage a week. So I can list those things and get excited about the wanting of what's on that list but wrapping my mind around how all that would feel...and that's not everything. So sometimes now I am overwhelmed or have to be in two places at one time or I feel guilty for not doing more in this area of my life or that area of my life and I would love to declare, if I attract the abundance to me, I will no longer every feel overwhelmed or guilty and that's just not so. But what would it feel like from an abundance perspective? Ah that's the nugget I am looking for.