I shall try to keep this as brief as possible.
I started dating a guy last year; he bowled me over, very good looking, charming, intelligent. A genuinely nice guy. I had, and still have, quite low self esteem so just rode this wave of being seduced which I loved. But I never felt comfortable and there was something of a dead space between us. I didn't feel deserving and after a while, well, about six weeks ago, things began to change between us. Granted, there were precipitating circumstances in his life - he received devastating health news which will change his life, no question - but things started to slide out of my control. All my thoughts became negative, I'd look to him booking dates to go, 'well, phew, at least we'll still be together next Monday/Thursday/Sunday, 'cause he says so!,' that kind of thing. I didn't feel confident asserting myself around him, but when he gave out negative vibes, I'd ask if it was about us and he'd reassure me that it wasn't. But by that point, my expectations of him were so low, and we were so separate that I knew things were winding down. All my conversations with my friends about him were negative, but still, I could look at a photo of him and be swept off my feet simply by that. But I put out, put out, put out such negativity that when, 2 weeks ago, he said, 'I haven't fallen for you,' (after 7 months - hmmm), though I was upset - and still am - it didn't feel like a huge shock.
I've called this in, haven't I? So how do I reverse the situation?
I have self esteem issues also. What you have written seems very familiar to me. I have been going out with a woman for 3 months now. Somehow we have fallen in love with each other very quickly. But my insecurities are raging. She is very wealthy and I am very middle income. She has traveled the world, and I've gone to Mexico twice and Canada. She is VERY outgoing (something I'm trying really hard to get used to), and though I am friendly, I'm not over the top like her. She is much more cultured than I, and her two ex-husbands were a fairly famous doctor (in the medical field), and the other was second in command of a world wide pharmaceutical company. At first we were just going to be friends, then it blossomed into something else very quickly. But I'm so paranoid that I think every day I know her is going to be the last. She even asked me to move in with her this week, and it's still not good enough to settle me. I think sometimes I actually try to sabatoge it. I have done two really stupid things in our relationship that probably would have turned the majority of women off. But she sticks with me. This week I became jealous of her relationship with her best friend (male). I'm not a jealous person normally, but I really made an ass of myself. So much so that she is now re-thinking the offer to move in.
She tells me she loves me, but yet I doubt because I keep asking myself why she is in love with a financially average guy when she could do so much better. All these doubts go through my mind constantly. I'm not good enough, she doesn't really love me, she's dating someone else on the side and is ready to dump me.....blah, blah, blah. I know I'm sending out bad vibes. I love her, but my insecurities are so great that I'm afraid I'm going to drive her away.
Are we both calling it in? Maybe. I would like to know how to reverse my situation too.
Ah, I understand what he said and though part of me would love to get him back, I don't think it's out of pure love. So, I'm not asking for relationship advice, per se. I'm more interested in the implied power by calling something in. I believe that you CAN manifest a specific person, be it your ex or be it someone else, and the more I think about the breakup, the more I can see the negativity that I was putting out simply brought more negativity to me, both in his behaviour and the conclusion of said relationship. So, it's more a question to do with calling something in and then changing what you are calling in, possibly in reference to someone specific, yes, but more just the general concept.
Yes, I'd say you DEFINITELY attracted it through your negative feelings and thoughts. However, it may not be over just yet!
I went through a similar experience, where I was so negative regarding this guy I was talking to for a while. We were really into eachother, when suddenly, I began to develop self-esteem issues and I really didn't feel worthy of him. I felt horrible, and I feared that he'd tell me he no longer had feelings for me. Finally, the Universe brought that horrible experience I had attracted to myself, and I cried and cried and felt desperate for about a week, but then I decided to do something. I said to myself, "If I attracted the bad ending of the relationship, I can probably attract it back." So I did. I forgot all about the horrible experience of it ending, and I began to feel the love I felt for him before, stronger than ever. I lived and felt and acted the same exact way I did when the relationship was going well, and pretended that he felt the same way. Suddenly, about a month later, he texts me wanting to "try again", and I knew exactly why it was happening, BECAUSE I ATTRACTED IT! :) I was very excited and felt amazing. I was so happy, and constantly being grateful for it.
So I encourage you to do the same, just to see what happens. Get rid of all the "unworthy feelings" and just pretend that you're back where you were before, in the "good" part of the relationship, feel it, imagine it, and feel the way you felt when you knew he felt the same way. What I'm telling you to do is to go back, and live the life you lived when you two were happy with eachother, and feel the happiness and the joy of it all. Imagine and act like the relationship is going perfectly and that you two are very happily together and in love. Do it for a while, and never have ANY doubts whatsoever. Imagine what it felt like, and REALLY feel it and be so happy and grateful, and really be EXCITED because you know that it's working out so well! I hope you take my advice, because it may just turn things around to work out for you. Best wishes. :)
Hi Kay Lee,
Thanks for the reply.
I'd like to get to that point, the point that you reached pretty quickly (a week, you say?) where you just reversed what you were feeling and thus reversed the situation. What methods and techniques did you find most useful for that? I do need to 'let go' of a lot of the bad feeling; maybe using the Sedona Method would help with that.
He made contact three times in the first week, and I ignored all of them because I just couldn't 'deal' with it all then. Part of me fears I've missed the boat, but LOA is more powerful than that, I guess!
I've had some little signs today. I erased pictures of him from my phone when the split happened, about 2 weeks ago, and today, for some reason, my phone e-mails me a picture of him. Very bizarre. And a holiday company that we used back in the spring mailed me to say, 'plan your next holiday!'
Am going to try to find the best point from which I can pivot my way out of this
Well the best method is just ALWAYS being happy. And also, imagine how you felt when you knew he felt the same way about you. The butterflies, the nervousness/excitement Lol, feel all of it all over again, and act like that's your reality.
If you see him fairly often, just smile at him and feel the way you felt about him before, and imagine that he's totally in love with you, have no doubts!
Best of luck! :)
Glad I could help! :)
I really hope this works out for you guys like it did for me, because when it did, it really was an amazing experience, and it made me believe all this LOA stuff was real! My situation was absolutely horrible and heartbreaking, but by forgetting all the pain, and feeling nothing but love all over again, it came back to me, and I was happier than ever.
Feel good and be happy ALWAYS. Be grateful and say "Thank You" for such a wonderful relationship. Imagine and feel that relationship is going perfectly well, and believe and KNOW that it's yours and that it's real for several minutes a day. Then just go on with your life, being happy, and not stressing out, because you KNOW for a fact that it's yours :)
The main thing is really just letting go of the doubt and not worrying, and being positive that the relationship is going well. Don't stress about it, because the more you obsess and stress about it, the more you repel it. Live your life knowing that the relationship is good, don't worry about it, feel good all the time, and just know that it's yours!
All the love and happiness you're giving out is sure to come back to you, so give it a chance!
Also, the LOA works particularly well when you just visualize it for a while, believe it's yours and forget it, just get on with your life, continuing to be grateful and happy. This works particularly well because if you're obsessing over it constantly, you're sending out a signal of "not having it". Think about your name. You don't think about your name obsessively 24/7, because you KNOW it's yours. You know that, no matter what, it's ALWAYS gonna be yours, and that you don't have to stress about it or even think about it all the time, because it belongs to you. That's how you should feel with what you want to attract. The best way to feel like you have it, is to not stress out about it, and to just know it's yours, let it, go, and be happy.
Lol, I know it's repetitive and it's alot of info to remember, but it's all pretty important. I guess I just really want it all to work out for you guys, hope it does! :))