Fill in the blanks below, using short, simple sentences. Don’t censor yourself; don’t be wise or “spiritual.” Take this opportunity to express your negative feelings on paper.
Who angers, irritates, saddens, or frustrates you, and why? I am ________________ at ________________ because __________________________________________________. Example:I am angry at Paul because he doesn’t listen to me, he doesn’t appreciate me, he argues with everything I say.
How do you want them to change? What do you want them to do? I want ________________ to __________________________ ___________________________________________________. Example:I want Paul to see that he is wrong. I want him to apologize.
What is it that they should or shouldn't do, be, think, or feel? What advice could you offer? ________________ should/shouldn't_____________________ ___________________________________________________. Example: Paul should take better care of himself. He shouldn't argue with me.
What do they need to do in order for you to be happy? I need________________ to ___________________________ ___________________________________________________. Example: I need Paul to hear me and respect me.
What do you think of them? Make a list. ________________ is _________________________________ ____________________________________________________. Example: Paul is unfair, arrogant, loud, dishonest, way out of line, and unconscious
The Four Questions
Investigate each of your statements from the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet using the four questions and the turnaround.
Is it true?
Can you absolutely know that it's true?
How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
Who would you be without the thought?
Then turn it around (the concept you are questioning), and don't forget to find three genuine examples of each turnaround.
What is it that you don't want to experience with that person again? I don't ever want to __________________________________ ____________________________________________________. Example: I don’t ever want to feel unappreciated by Paul again. I don’t ever want to see him smoking and ruining his health again.