once again i am feeling lost and lonely. i put time and energy into a guy that is great in many ways but in the one that matters most. he apparently does not like me in the way that i like him. so were do i go from here. i do not want to give up on love nor do i want to loose my friend- in the end he will always be that. yet i have to wonder why he does not want me. is there someone better out there for me and when will i meet them. what steps do i need to do to bring the love i deserve and desire to my life. i do not want to keep falling into the same traps and patterns nor do i want to be lonely in a relationship just to be in one - something i refuse to do. so what do i do now? how do i move foreward when what my head and heart wanted does not want me. while he has not said so i know it is true as he is excited about someone else. thus i have a tendency to compare myself to that person but know that it is useless i am not them they are not me and i need to be true to who i am but at this point in my life i do not know how to get there. to fully embrace the person i need to be as am adult - there are many issues that i deal with in this life most presssing at the moment is how to get out of my parents house so that i can get away from negative thoughts, memories and energy. i know that once i get out of this house i will be able to surround myself with postive energy that will nurish my soul but i am not sure how to get there. well i do but fear is always present, ugh i hate fear. it is a teacher that... well it teaches and challanges. so i need to start working as a massage theraphist but every time i get ready to send out resumes i get distracted so the real question is what is holding me back. fear but of what ... i am used to this situation but do not like it. i visualize my own place and working as a theraphist so what is the block... help... what i keeping me were i will not grow. any thoughts will be appriciated.
any prayers and teh like welcomed. thanks for listening .