By Eva Gregory, CPCC
Do you find yourself wondering why your life is what it is? How is it that some folks seem to get whatever they want, while you seem to be stuck in a rut? Have you been asking how to turn your life around?
Not surprising, one of the things that many successful people have in common is confidence. The confidence to believe that they will achieve the things they set out to, they will get all they feel entitled to, or they will create the things that they desire. They do not allow doubt or negativity to sabotage their plans. Most have become masters at focusing on the positive and refuse to let the "little voice" within feed them negativity for them to buy into. So how have they mastered the power of positive thinking or even more difficult the skill of positive self-talk?
Perhaps you should first LISTEN to the things that you tell yourself on a daily basis. Do you realize how true the saying that "we are our own worse critic" is? Try this, close your eyes and listen to what message YOUR self-talk is delivering. Are you happy with what you are hearing? If not, why not try implementing some of the hints outlined below.
Write down five of the things that you catch your self-talk voice telling you. For each negative thing you write down, change the tone to make it a positive by using "I am," "I will," and "I can" instead. Be sure to make these affirmations positive, believable and realistic for you personally. Now feel what it is like to have it actually be the way you want it to be. Get excited about the possibility. Build on the affirmations that creates a story about how it all unfolds the way you intend for it to often and in time, you will come to believe them. The more you believe the positive, the more success you will have. You will begin to attract it literally!
While evaluating your self-talk voice, did you discover that you spend a great deal of time thinking in "What ifs?" What ifs are typically a big waste of time because you spend valuable time focusing on things that have either already taken place, or may or may not happen. What if (sorry--couldn't resist) I show you how to make What ifs productive? Try this:
Every time you find yourself focused on negative thoughts or a default reaction of "What if....?" Play the "What If-UP Game!" This is a highly successful game that I use with my coaching clients. It goes like this:
Whenever you start thinking..."What If":
Flip the thought around to:
What if "IT COULD BE THE WAY I WANT IT!"
See how it works? The game is designed to get you thinking about the positive and letting go of the negative. Using the word "could" eliminates self-imposed pressure and opens the door to unlimited possibilities.
The key to positive thought and self-talk is recognizing what you are currently doing, and learning to deliberately change it. Once it is learned it will have a profound impact on the things you would like to accomplish in life. As William Shakespeare once said, "Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so." So, think of this as the first day of the rest of your life, and start thinking powerfully and putting out a positive attitude in each aspect of your life.