A common question from my clients is how to keep feeling good about your partner after the ‘honeymoon’ period wears off. How do you stop your attention from drifting towards those annoying little things he does, thereby undermining your happy relationship?
Keeping your attention on the good things in your life and your relationship can be a bit of a challenge on a good day and totally derail when something that pushes your buttons comes along. But you can get back on track as soon as you realize you’ve gone down the negative path.
Here is what you can do when you get off-track.
Maybe he smokes or he likes to tease you when you are not in the mood for it. Or maybe he takes out his frustrations on you for something gone wrong in his perception of a work situation by nit picking and arguing about your not respecting him and his time.
When something is in your face, it is hard not to react defensively. Your roadway out of the minefield is to bring your attention back to yourself. Take a look at what you don’t like. Are you automatically judging him as not loving you or as a bad person because of his actions? What conclusions did you jump to? Are they true?
Here’s the tough part. Where in your life are you acting or doing the same thing. It may not be exactly the same behavior, but something similar. Maybe you are doing something equivalent to smoking, which you wish you weren’t doing. Maybe you like chocolate, but your face breaks out when you eat it and you wish you could control your desires. Maybe there are times when you feel stressed and the littlest incident sets you off and you snap at your kids or your friend.
When you look at the behaviors of your partner as an opportunity to learn something about yourself, then you are not so emotionally charged. Take time to see where in your life, you are doing the things you complain most about your partner. You are in this together. You are reflections of the same energy. That’s Law of Attraction.
Thank (out loud or silently) your partner for the opportunity to get to know yourself better. When you see him as a gift for your personal growth and evolution, as your ticket to the happy, creative and powerful being that you are, then his foibles are easier to forgive.
The truth is that he had all of these things that now you don't like when you first met. You simply put your attention on the things you wanted to see in him. It's a natural part of the relationship cycle to swing from seeing your partner as sent from Heaven to the monster from Hell. From this point, you can find a happy place of balance where you allow your partner to be who he is and enjoy all the wonderful things about him. It is your choice on where you want to put your attention.
The funny thing about Law of Attraction is when you accept his quirks and random behaviors, focus on what you love about him, then you get more of what you want and less of what you don’t want. I know from first hand experience that there becomes an openness and easiness between you that is very satisfying and fulfilling. You can enjoy your partner for a long time just by taking charge of the thoughts you think and the choices you make.