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So I haven't been updating as much as I'd like to be on here. I've had a lot of things going on in my life lately. My focus of late had been on what I was going to do to achieve my goal of becoming a billionaire by 25. I'm absolutely crazy about this goal because everyone keeps telling me it's impossible and that just adds fuel to the fire burning inside of me. Well it's been that focus that has caused some uneasy feelings in me and ignited my alter ego. A brief history about that is I have an alter ego that is very destructive. When he comes out, I have poor focus, an abundance of negativity, and an overall depressive attitude towards life.

Most people who know me will tell you I'm one of the most energetic people they know. When the alter ego comes out, everybody knows because there is such a huge difference from how I normally act. After I quickly problem solved, I realized a couple things. My focus on becoming a billionaire was creating feelings of lack. I was focused on the how’s, meaning I was focused on lack because I lost faith that the universe will provide a way. The reason for that focus was because I've been trying to figure out what steps to take right now. I need some guidance on how to really kick off this journey to wealth.

I know what I'm going to do to get to the end but I don't know how I'm going to get to the middle where I can begin to take the massive action. That action requires capital and connections that I don't possess yet. As you can see, filling the gap between where I'm at now and where I need to be to take this action is becoming a menacing affair. I think the first initial shift from the lack mentality I'm living in to a more abundant lifestyle is the hardest. It's going to take the biggest amount of shift.

Once abundance starts rolling in, the momentum is going to build and build and I know I'll have no problem. It's like a rocket ship. 90% of the fuel is spent on the takeoff. My fuel tank must only be reading half full because apparently I'm not ready to takeoff yet. But I'm steadily working my way there. I think I might have a solution to my current bind but it's a long shot. Poker has always been something I've been highly interested in. I love the math, the skill, and the risk involved with it. It's a captivating game. Through my struggles I've played online and had decent success but again and again I let greed set in. That results in me losing everything time after time.

Ever since I made the shift in mentality to a more abundant, free flowing outlook I have not attempted to go back to poker. I said it two years ago that I thought cards was going to be the thing that took me from ordinary and gave me the shot at extraordinary. Of course, I thought back then it was going to happen overnight and I was going to be making $10K/month comfortably playing in my own home. It seems more and more like that prediction is coming true. Right now, poker could provide me with the money and lifestyle change I need to quit my job, be financially free, and to really get a kick start on my new project.

Time has always been my biggest complaint about my job. I'm away from home for over 12 hours a day and that can really start to wear on a person. Especially someone like me who is trying so hard to change their situation but doesn’t seem to possess the right mixture of time and activity to make their dreams a reality.

See, I don't know that there is anyone as equipped as I am to change. Not only do I have the mindset for success and an understanding of how success works, but I've got the drive to get me there. I've also got the dreams to help lift me up. But somehow it seems like I'm hit with adversity from somewhere right when I'm about to make a big break (while writing this I wonder if I have a belief that I'm constantly being held back? It could explain a lot). Well, that's all for now, but I will be updating soon :)

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