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Seemed like a simple and easy enough challenge, 1 day without complaining. No listening to the news, that meant no radio, no TV, no headlines,...no talking politics (I welcomed that) What about interacting with people, when complaining would begin I would first try to just change the subject, if that failed I tried to point out a bright side, if that failed I interjected, humor if that failed, I'd voice my thoughts that no amount of complaining would change the past . I say that I will not be a participant in complaining and would explain my goal . Some would say Thank You, and we continue the conversation . Some would say oh, ok, at first they seemed to take it personal , then we just LET IT GO. Some would say:

I am not complaining I am just venting,
You are living in denial,
You are being selfish by not listening to me.

This lead me to question what is the "definition" of:
Complaining- to express grief, pain, or discontent ,
Venting- to relieve by means of a vent,
Denial-refusal to admit the truth or reality,

Realty-the quality or state of being real,
Selfish- concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself,
I realized that we all have our own dictionary and ways of handling life. By trying to NOT to complain I realized I was complaining... By trying to change directions of a conversation, I was surrendering and caught up in it. If I do not want to hear what I feel is complaining ...I have to just LET IT GO. These people were not holding me captive against my will. By setting my intentions to NOT COMPLAIN I was attracting "COMPLAINING". At best when I would try to change a subject or find a bright side or interject humor I would be pushing against trying to stop something... instead of just LET IT GO. So without further thought I will stop complaining and just LET IT GO.

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Comment by Denise Barone Jim Dupre on October 31, 2008 at 5:14pm
Thank you for comments I agree with you....
Comment by Cheryl Huerta on October 31, 2008 at 3:38pm
Good on ya for letting it go. Perhaps, as it has been in my own experience, when we focus on 'not' doing something we are actually setting your selves up to constantly be faced with situations that nearly require us to do that thing. It is said we should look at what we want and not at what we don't want. It takes a bit of doing, learning not to focus on 'not' doing/saying/feeling things, but if we stop ourselves when we begin down the path we don't want to be on and if we don't get upset with ourselves for slipping up I've learned that things become easier and also become habit.

It has also been my experience that we can't change others and if we are faced with complainers then all we really can do is to let it go just as you have decided to do. I work in an office of 'drama queens' who are gossiping or complaining or freaking out all day every day. I used to get aggravated with them for it and would have to leave my office and go outside to get a break from them but since I've decided to let it go and ignore it without being affected by it they seem to be doing it less and less and less. Not saying my attitude changed what they do in any way but I'm just saying that in order to 'notice' things other people do we must first have the idea of it in our mind or at least be sensitive to it. It seems to be working out for me in my office that that less I care about what they are doing or saying the less they seem to be doing it. Bottom line is that I'm happier and they seem to be complaining less of the time so maybe they are happier too.

Keep up the great work...it can seem difficult to change our selves but the more we do it and the better attitude we have about it the easier it gets...at least that is how things have worked for me.

Maybe you might want to try to just start the day with promising yourself that you will be happy, calm and positive all day long and let the rest take care of itself. Then you don't need to expend any energy trying 'not' to do or be anything.

Good Luck to you...


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