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There's a guy I really, really like in my school...

And he definitely likes me back, although not nearly to the same degree that I do with him.

But there's only one problem... he's a happy, positive, sociable, amiable person, while I'm withdrawn, harsh, depressive, etc. Around him, I do my best to "snap out of it" and be happier, because he really does make me feel so much happier.

I don't know how to express that to him. I'm so cold but I don't want to be. I'm mean but I don't mean to be, at least not to him of all people. Oh, how can I ever show him that? How can I ever let him know that I'm trying my best but I don't always succeed? I try to be friendly, but it doesn't come naturally... trusting and conversation don't come easily to me... and it's so lovely, he's so sweet and understanding, and he lets me finish and listens to every little thing I say, but I know I'll end up repelling him if I can't improve like SOON.

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Comment by krishna on March 17, 2009 at 1:43am
Hi Kara,
A major part of the problem is solved when you identify the problem. You already have identified whats creating the barriers. If you look at what you say and feel the discomfort of being nasty then you will realize that you dont feel good about being mean, cold harsh etc.. this is the universe's way of showing you what you need to overcome and work upon. Now these traits you have developed over the years and it will take a little bit of time, practise, constant reminding to your own self and unshakable faith in your self that you can and will over come this. also.. if possible try giving something to people.. liek you see a child and you buy a chocolate.. or icecream.. you see some one singing toss him a dime and feel good inside that you are spreading cheer and this will come back to you many folds..
You said he's so understanding and sweet .. and most importantly he is with you.. and you ahve a chance to be with him.. this is universe handing you the opportunity and the challenge on the platter.. the way i see it.. now that you have the urge to improve.. you will improve.. infact you have already begun your journey..
Seek it from universe for guidance.. try baby steps.. try being nice and cheerful to every one you meet.. feel and remind yourself again and again that you are a bright cheerful and warm person.. imagine you in situations where you are surrounded by people and enjoying your company.. Dont listen to depressing and negative songs.. music or movies.. or books.. read, see listen to happier, cheerful movies etc.. and babes.. you really need to do all this yourself.. also.. i see thht a sense of 'need' and dependancy developing towards this person.. AVOID IT.. thats one sure way of losing things.. so its very important that you give time to others..

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