There's a guy I really, really like in my school...
And he definitely likes me back, although not nearly to the same degree that I do with him.
But there's only one problem... he's a happy, positive, sociable, amiable person, while I'm withdrawn, harsh, depressive, etc. Around him, I do my best to "snap out of it" and be happier, because he really does make me feel so much happier.
I don't know how to express that to him. I'm so cold but I don't want to be. I'm mean but I don't mean to be, at least not to him of all people. Oh, how can I ever show him that? How can I ever let him know that I'm trying my best but I don't always succeed? I try to be friendly, but it doesn't come naturally... trusting and conversation don't come easily to me... and it's so lovely, he's so sweet and understanding, and he lets me finish and listens to every little thing I say, but I know I'll end up repelling him if I can't improve like SOON.