I am seeking a greater understanding of how to follow my inner guidance towards the things that I want in life, particularly in regards to dating.
I am wanting to learn how to discern the difference between A. anxiety about intimacy, getting close to others, etc. that I have had issues with in the past (and am I just creating that stuff over and over again) AND B. when my inner being/higher self is saying "no this person isn't right, move along". The somatic feeling (tightness in my chest) is very similar------the feeling that develops any time I start to date some one and the feeling that I get when I know I'm focused on something negative and am moving away from what I want on pretty much whatever topic is at hand.
I tend to think that it is not B. because I find myself feeling very angry when this happens because the "tension" that I feel when meeting some one new prevents me from moving forward in relationships and thinking that I can only have peace when I'm single---and what I want is to be able to date and to eventually find that "one" relationship and to fall in love. Meanwhile, I can't get past the first date.
If anyone reading this has some helpful thoughts, all are greatly appreciated. I can elaborate further if necessary. I can just say that I am seeking to be able to move freely through dating relationships, to live and learn, to love and to get to experience new people, to learn about myself and about them, without this anxiety that builds up.