By Eva Gregory, CPCC
Does worrying about what others think of you, or what you are doing cause you anxiety and sleepless nights? Do you tailor your actions or behavior to the opinions of others? If so, then have I found a book title for you! I have not read the book by Terry Cole Whitaker, but when I saw it, it really struck a chord. The title is "What You Think of Me is None of My Business". How cool is that?! Doesn't it make you go, "hmmm"?
Imagine how liberating it would be to adopt this title as your personal motto and put it into practice. Envision yourself looking at the captions on a magazine cover and not caring what the latest expert says is acceptable, fashionable, or tolerable. How about being able to attend this year's holiday parties without caring what colleagues, acquaintances, relatives or friends are thinking about you? Can you feel the self-confidence and positive energy that radiates when you make the decision to let someone else take ownership of their beliefs, ideas, or negativity? Phyllis, Julie and Trevor had to experience it first hand to feel it.
Phyllis, Julie, and Trevor have been friends since childhood. They have mutual friends and work for the same company. They have also all experienced the phenomena of letting someone else's hang-ups become their own. They were not looking forward to the holiday season because they knew what kinds of comments typically awaited them. This year they got together at Thanksgiving and decided that they were tired of being victims. They prepared for the holiday festivities with excitement knowing that THEY were going to seize control, and that they had each other for support.
When Phyllis arrived at the company Christmas party alone and immediately ran into a very happily married co-worker, instead of letting her co-worker's snide comment about being dateless bother her, she replied that she welcomed the opportunity to meet other people, and had intentionally come solo. She felt great as she walked away and left her co-worker fumbling for a retort. How good it felt to not worry about what someone else thought for a change. She felt in control and intended to thoroughly enjoy her evening.
When Julie left the dance floor looking for a cool drink, her ex-husband walked up to her and remarked that she looked good despite the extra pounds that she had put on. Instead of getting self-conscious, Julie told him that she was glad he thought so, and that she hadn't felt so good in years. Just as he was about to say something, someone walked up to her and asked her to dance. Julie felt great as she danced off. She stood in HER truth and the outcome was fantastic.
Trevor stood back and observed the crowd. He had seen the exchanges that the girls had, and he was impressed. He hoped that he could follow through too. He knew that his co-workers joked about the fact that he still lived at home at his age, and he knew that the word had leaked into the neighboring office where Shelby worked. He wanted to ask her out, but was not sure how receptive she would be. After all, most men over 30 do not live at home. As he turned to find Phyllis to ask for advice, he bumped right into Shelby and had to grab her to keep her from falling! He immediately apologized and was amazed when she said that she was looking for him. He asked her to dance and while they were dancing she told him that she still lived at home too! Trevor was so pleased that he did not revert to his "old ways". Had he paid attention to what his co-workers thought of him, he never would have asked her to dance.
The next day, when the three friends got together to reminisce, they had all learned a great deal from their "Coming Out". They learned that being true to themselves was incredibly rewarding. They had not pay attention to the shoulds and ought to's that typically surround them and decided to let the people with the beliefs worry about them, while they enjoyed their night. They were happy and had much higher self-esteem the next day. They knew that they were going to continue living their lives with the new motto firmly in place.
Are you being authentic and standing in your truth? Where are you letting others' beliefs and expectations dictate your life? Are you minding someone else's business? If so, isn't it time to start doing your own thing and mind your own business? It's their hang-up, not yours! My challenge to you is to release worrying about what others think of you and be willing to be your true, authentic self. The quality of your life will improve radically!
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About the Author:
Eva Gregory, CPCC, is a master coach, speaker and author of several programs and books including The Feel Good Guide to Prosperity. She has instructed tens of thousands in person, on the radio and in teleconferences, seminars and workshops on how to deliberately create a life by design using the Law of Attraction. As co-host of The Jeanna and Eva Show and The Law of Attraction Show on Exceptional Wisdom Radio, she has interviewed some of the most powerfully successful motivational experts today. Her new book, Life Lessons for Mastering the Law of Attraction, co-authored with Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hanson and Jeanna Gabellini, can be found in bookstores everywhere.
Copyright @2009 Eva Gregory. All rights reserved.