Today, I saw my ex across the way at Uni and we made eye contact and it fucking hurt. I was on my way to get food but I suddenly completely lost my appetite and had to walk away as quick as I could before I started crying. And I've been crying off and on since then. I feel like I've fallen off the road and I don't know how to get back on. Everything was going so well until about a week ago, and I don't know why it went bad or how I fix it. I feel like I'm falling down a dark spirally pit of darkness and I don't know how to resist. I miss her so much and still can't believe that she's left me. And to see her, so gorgeous, with friends, being happy, eating when I can hardly bear to even dress some mornings, I have no friends at university anymore and I can barely eat half the time... It just killed me on the inside.
I don't know how to get back up. I'm so tired, so sick of fighting. This afternoon I really had to resist the urge to step in front of a bus and just say good-bye to the world forever. I just felt... what's the point of trying anymore? Is this world even worth it? I need to get back on track... I need to believe again... I was doing so well... But I don't know how to do it.
I need.... help.