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Lately, I have felt an incredible amount of resistance in the form of tension around my head and neck, etc. I can stop and relax, meditate, and do the Healing Codes, which always helps. My pulse last night was around 60 -- that is really amazing for one who does not exercise. That's the Codes -- it does that.

Anyway, before I head for bed I always relax. There's something about bedtime that leads me to letting go of the tension and resistance I easily put up during the day. I know from what I'm learning from Abraham-Hicks that it's all because I am not aligned. So then I think about what alignment means, and how I can allow myself there.

My way of getting there isn't always what I think it's supposed to be. And that's why I sometimes think this "vibrational scale" stuff doesn't work. But that's not so, it just doesn't SEEM to work, because of the images I have in my mind about HOW it works, or more accurately, how I think it's SUPPOSED to work, rather than how it really works.

It's because I reach for the thoughts that don't help, and then I wonder what I'm doing wrong! LOL! The first thought I need to reach for, or one of the first, is that I'm NOT doing things wrong, and that's often why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling in the first place! I constantly keep coming back to this paradox. And when I start to lean into this, I feel relief. It's a practice right now, because even the relief is maybe temporary or partial, but then by feeling that relief, I know I'm on the right track.

Exactly what Abe says.

I purchased a different "program," so to speak, a couple years ago, called "Busting Loose from the Emotions Game." I bought it and studied it during the earliest weeks of my emotional meltdown/descent into hell. Eventually, I put it aside and avoided looking at it for the last couple years, because of the associations I have between that and the events and emotions that transpired that summer.

I've gotten it back out, mainly to look at the premise of it. There are some differences between it and the teachings of Abraham, but I think they both lead back to the same thing.

We are all love, all joy, all peace. That is our TRUE and ESSENTIAL nature. Now, the Emotions Game stuff says that we came here to play the game of convincing ourselves that we are NOT that. That's where the major difference between Abe and the Emotions Game is, I think.

But I like both, for the reason that they BOTH affirm that what we have convinced ourselves, or experienced ourselves as being, is totally not true. For both, the processes involve getting back to and affirming our true nature. The hardest part, ironically, seems to be convincing ourselves once again, that we really ARE the beautiful, joyful beings we are.

Imagine it! This may just seem like words to you, because sometimes it seems like just words to me, but there are times also when I can FEEL it -- even if but for a brief, fleeting glimpse -- that our essential nature, the most natural part of ourselves, Who We Really Are, is love, joy, peace -- all the things we may think (or feel) we are not.

We really are deceiving ourselves. Both views say, in their own unique ways, that the negative things we experience are simply signposts or hints or clues or contrast along the path that, when we observe them, look into them, or shift our focus, or release resistance to them, we actually progress (expand) to a new place, a better place than before.

The Emotions Game program speaks of our emotional states (negative, but even positive) as like eggs we break open. We find the egg, and we bust it. Emotions Game is about diving INTO the emotion (egg), feeling it, then affirming that we are ACTUALLY love, joy, peace, etc., and that as we affirm that, we expand into (or Abe -- ALLOW ourselves to become) the beings we really are.

When you get a glimpse of it, it's a wonderful feeling.

Affirming it, even when not feeling it, most definitely keeps the process rolling. The Codes help. All the things we are doing help.

The thing is to remember (which is a part of allowing) is that it's more natural for us to be love, joy, and peace, than anything else. And as Abe says, when we feel bad, it's because we are not aligned with that. And that's all it is. It's not disaster, it's not the end of the world, it's just misalignment, and the negative feelings we have are simply reminders, clues, eggs, so to speak. Nothing more, nothing less. Eggs of opportunity.

The hard part is that at first, we have so many eggs, that even if we think we've broken one, it doesn't feel like much, because there are so many more. All the more reason to not stop breaking the eggs -- the more we do, the closer we'll get to seeing how much of a difference it makes.

Last night, because I've not been feeling the greatest, I thought about all this. The other thing that occurred to me is that when I feel this way, I still try so hard to use the external helps that are out there in order to feel better on the inside. While it's not wrong to use the external helps, the real cure is INSIDE ME. And I FELT that. I felt the power of that. It's as if I know this intellectually, and I can rattle on and on about it all day long, but it's when I FEEL it and KNOW that it's the ONLY way to get better, and that I really have this guidance INSIDE ME, that's when the real stuff takes hold.

I do the Codes. But I also have to affirm that I'M the one who heals myself. The Codes may help me open to the insights, but it's still me, listening to my internal guidance, diving down into the muck and grit, into the peaceful, powerful center, the REAL part of me, that is going to effect the ultimate, lasting healing. In fact, I AM healed. That's the truth of it.

This a.m. I feel the resistance. That's OK. To fight it is to only get farther from it. To allow the truth of myself to arise, to take over, to be found -- whatever works -- that's a challenge and yet what's ironic is that it's natural. The rest is not! It's just highly practiced habit. More than biting one's nails or any other physical habit. Harder to see, because it's so much a part of daily life. It takes time. That's why it's an egg hunt -- life brings us the things, the events, the situations, the people -- actually the Emotions Game says we bring to ourselves these things -- in order that we crack the eggs. So even the eggs are GOOD! The Abe processes, the Emotions Game processes, and many other processes, are pretty much that. It's complicated, and yet it is, in the end, simple, because it leads us to the good that we really are, which is actually the natural thing.

Whew. Life is an unraveling. Wow.

This a.m., I was looking outdoors at the puddles of mud in the yard that are there due to the rain we had last night and off and on the last couple days. I saw evidence of things my son and his four friends had done. It looked like some plants were trampled. I asked Benjamin (I didn't "crab" at him) if they'd trampled the plants. He said no. I agreed that it could have been the rain. I saw a brick moved from the little 2-layer "wall" around my garden by the patio. I started to bitch about them moving stuff -- and I stopped mid-sentence. I said, "Never mind. I really enjoy you guys playing out there and having fun." Now, sometimes doing that feels forced, but in this case, I could feel the difference. I felt bad B&Ming (Bitching & Moaning) about it, and I felt better seeing it in a different way. That was the path of least resistance. A part of me said (old habit), "But if you let them get by with all this stuff you'll have a disaster!" I chose not to listen. If I spend time defending that line of thinking, I'm spending time focusing on the "what-I-don't-want" part of things which only activates it.

If I can keep practicing this, which I will, it will be fun to see how it works. I suspect that the more I shift to the fun part, the less the messy stuff will happen. And heck, even if it does, I can still do the same thing, and crack some more eggs.

So yes, you can't get it wrong, and of course, you can't get it done.

It's always very nice when I can FEEL the processes work, internally. And that's the whole point. It's the feeling of joy I'm reaching for. It's there, because it's WHO I AM.

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