A "New" Beginning
Here's my story....
After three and a half years of a very abusive marriage, I finally found the strength to leave....and I mean leave. I signed over everything, and signed off... he sold my car, and charged me for my stay the last few weeks I was there. Yep, and I am carrying his credit card debt to this day (I didn't hire an attorney, I just signed off). Do I regret this? NO! Freedom and happiness are priceless..literally. So I leave and return to my year of cushion (San Diego), to discover that it is not the same, and had rather bad luck. I gather myself, my strength and courage and made a move to Portland, OR, about three weeks ago. This is finally my "new" beginning. I feel free, blessed and grateful.
Now? I need to find work. It's imperative. Yet, I am staying with a stranger, and feel like a burden and a nuisance. I was raised very old fashioned, so I contribute in any and every way that I can. Yet, I still seem to be a bother. I send out my resume, interview and do research on all companies DAILY, but nothing is happening yet. I know...too soon....but I have a great background and am used to landing on my feet. My "saviour" is miserable... so every night I am surrounded by negativity. She hates Portland, her job and her life in general right now. It's tough being around this negativity when I am new here and need to stay as positive as possible. By the way, I normally am extremely positive! Now? It's hard... I'm basically homeless and staying with a stranger.... Am I grateful? You Bet Your Ass! But it's difficult when everything you do to contribute has a negative reaction. Cleaning? don't bother Cooking? don't bother Cleaning up after the dogs? don't bother Laundry? don't bother What do I do? She hasn't set any boundaries, though I've asked her to many many times.
By the way, she's lucky that it was me that she allowed into her home. She took a huge risk offering this to a stranger. Very risky in todays world. There's no question that I am blessed. Now? I need to move on asap, but am financially stuck.
There you have it... my story in a nutshell. Any of you out there that have room for good thoughts and prayers for a stranger, I would be very grateful to receive them right now. I want to repay my debts in loyalty, love, and friendship. I just need a good paying job RIGHT now... no room for waiting. This is my new life... and it's time it begins!
By the way, Poncho, my dog, loves it here! His health has improved from almost the moment we arrived. No matter what, this move was right... if even for just him. We are survivors! But, we both need positive energy, thoughts and prayers. Work is tough to come by right now... Both of us will be grateful for all the thoughts and prayers sent out way :)
Thanks for reading my story... and my miracle of a literal stranger offering her home. She too needs positive thoughts and prayers! Holy shit am I and Poncho grateful!
"L"
This is my start... right now I only need positive energy and thoughts coming my way. The economy and job market is bad. Tough? doesn't even describe how I feel.
After three and a half years of a very abusive marriage, I finally found the strength to leave....and I mean leave. I signed over everything, and signed off... he sold my car, and charged me for my stay the last few weeks I was there. Yep, and I am carrying his credit card debt to this day (I didn't hire an attorney, I just signed off). Do I regret this? NO! Freedom and happiness are priceless..literally. So I leave and return to my year of cushion (San Diego), to discover that it is not the same, and had rather bad luck. I gather myself, my strength and courage and made a move to Portland, OR, about three weeks ago. This is finally my "new" beginning. I feel free, blessed and grateful.
Now? I need to find work. It's imperative. Yet, I am staying with a stranger, and feel like a burden and a nuisance. I was raised very old fashioned, so I contribute in any and every way that I can. Yet, I still seem to be a bother. I send out my resume, interview and do research on all companies DAILY, but nothing is happening yet. I know...too soon....but I have a great background and am used to landing on my feet. My "saviour" is miserable... so every night I am surrounded by negativity. She hates Portland, her job and her life in general right now. It's tough being around this negativity when I am new here and need to stay as positive as possible. By the way, I normally am extremely positive! Now? It's hard... I'm basically homeless and staying with a stranger.... Am I grateful? You Bet Your Ass! But it's difficult when everything you do to contribute has a negative reaction. Cleaning? don't bother Cooking? don't bother Cleaning up after the dogs? don't bother Laundry? don't bother What do I do? She hasn't set any boundaries, though I've asked her to many many times.
By the way, she's lucky that it was me that she allowed into her home. She took a huge risk offering this to a stranger. Very risky in todays world. There's no question that I am blessed. Now? I need to move on asap, but am financially stuck.
There you have it... my story in a nutshell. Any of you out there that have room for good thoughts and prayers for a stranger, I would be very grateful to receive them right now. I want to repay my debts in loyalty, love, and friendship. I just need a good paying job RIGHT now... no room for waiting. This is my new life... and it's time it begins!
By the way, Poncho, my dog, loves it here! His health has improved from almost the moment we arrived. No matter what, this move was right... if even for just him. We are survivors! But, we both need positive energy, thoughts and prayers. Work is tough to come by right now... Both of us will be grateful for all the thoughts and prayers sent out way :)
Thanks for reading my story... and my miracle of a literal stranger offering her home. She too needs positive thoughts and prayers! Holy shit am I and Poncho grateful!
"L"
This is my start... right now I only need positive energy and thoughts coming my way. The economy and job market is bad. Tough? doesn't even describe how I feel.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Teri on -
Hi L!
You have my positive thoughts and energy coming your way. I think you are a wonderful and amazing being! You are strong and you have, no doubt, survived much more negativity than this, I am sure. Be kinder to yourself. The best way to send positive energy to your roommate is to relax and make yourself at home. If she didn't want you there, she wouldn't have offered you the place. You are doing your share, and she is grateful. Things will get better each day. You are in a beautiful part of the country. Enjoy your new life and be happy, that is your "job" right now. The rest of your intentions are happening. Allow them to. Just let your love and joy radiate and smile. You are attracting opportunities and by being in a joyful and happy state, you are allowing them to come to you more quickly. You are loved and you are a survivor! You are a powerful intender and good things are coming your way!
I am so very proud of you! I am so glad you are here.
Namaste,
Teri
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Permalink Reply by Dirndl on -
Dear "L" (in my mind I´m already calling you Lovely, hope you don´t mind)
I think it´s great you took yourself and your dog out of this bad marriage. You are a phantastic person to be so courageous and I am sure you will do okay.
Way out from Europe (Austria) my positive thoughts are flowing to you, your dog and the kind lady that took you in.
Expecting you to post some positive news within a month!
Bye Lovely!
May you walk in beauty,
Petra
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Permalink Reply by Bolli on -
You say you feel you are a burden. Then you say she's lucky it was you.
Both of this echo like bookends a serious negative energy. Is it any wonder that you are not moving forward?
Saying you feel like a burden and that you aren't carrying your weight deep inside is sending out to the universe an energy of worthless and uselessness. That energy is not only getting sent out but you are attaching it to every resume you sent out.
You say you aren't cooking and cleaning and whatnot. You say that she is lucky to have you. That sends out the energy that the world is filled with distrustful people who are a threat to you. Can you imagine all that energy being attached to your resume? EWW UG!
Here
http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/fbh/706971160.html
Go make some coffee, meet some people and relax. You are not a bum. You are a person trying on a new pair of shoes. Its gonna take a while until they fit right. But the only way you can make that happen is to keep walking anyway and focus on getting them comfortable.
Love your dog, love yourself, love your magic room mate and the journey you two are on together in a rickity caravan across the summer landscape of Portland. The weather is amazing. You're free. Roll with it and enjoy life.
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Permalink Reply by Debbie Greene on -
Life is good! I have been where you are and it gets better. I was in an abusive relationship 19 years ago and left also. I went to a shelter for battered women and was on welfare and food stamps! I lived in a one room apartment with my daughter and another woman and her daughter when we left the shelter. I was using law of attraction every minute of the day then ...........I just didn't know what it was called. I had no money, no credit and I left with only the close on my back and my daughter. I can tell you life gets better and better by the minute. As you heal and become revitalized your life begins to change dramatically. I have a wonderful life, a wonderful husband, that I have been with for 18 years and an amazing family. I have a great job and some days I would pay them to do this job. I don't have a degree and there is no reason they should have hired me except law of attraction! I make more money than most Nature Center Managers around the country. Life is Great! As for your current job situation..................It will happen! Visualize yourself getting the job every time you fill out an application. Rehearse the acceptance speech in your mind. SEE it happening! Know FOR SURE THAT YOU WILL GET A GREAT JOB! And if that doesn't happen right away..............take the first thing that feels right because you need to follow your emotions to get to the place you are destined to be. To the place that is in your vibrational escrow waiting for you.
Believe it and it will be!
Namaste
Debbie
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Permalink Reply by Dana on -
I am glad you got yourself out of that situation. I know you deserve a better life. I hope things start looking up for you real soon.
www.looking4teamplayers.com
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Permalink Reply by AnnMarie Cunniff on
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You deserve a beautiful "New Beginning." What you have been through I totally empathize with, and because of that I can tell you, "It will all work out fine." I have been there twice.
I left 2 marriages and raised my 3 children from both marriages on my own. I held down a day job, two and sometimes 3 night jobs, usually 2 waitressing on the weekends and working for a Direct Sales company 1 or 2 night per week. The world is full of opportunities and you have asked and the Universe will answer. Head up...
You can check out my opportunity if you like and if not, I'd be happy to help you in any way I can to get started with an online business. That's what we do here, we support each other...
"THE DOOR TO SUCCESS IS THROUGH FAILURE."
I'm sending positive thoughts your way!
LOL (LOVE OUT LOUD and maybe someone will hear)
NAMASTE
AnnMaries
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Permalink Reply by janice524 on -
Hi! L
I will send all my posituve energy and prayers your way. I was in almost the same situation 6 years ago, but I had to keep the house so I could keep my dogs. I still don't know how my son and I made it but we did. It seems like just when it looked like everything was going so bad we got just what we needed to get by. A new job came my way 4 years ago. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time and it was there. I am sure the perfect job will come your way too. hoping and praying for you
janice524
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Permalink Reply by logos on -
Hey L... Dont take it bad but your story really had me laughing... I guess that through everything you still keep a great sense of humor... Dont worry too much... You will not just repay and help your 'saviour' very soon but be an inspiration to her... You are blessed...
ALL IS WELL...
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Permalink Reply by Liz on
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From one L to another -
From what I've found and read, there is a very powerful universal law (not gravity!) that says that if you focus your attention mostly (or predominantly 'cause hey, we're human...) on good feelings, that the bad stuff has to fall away out of lack of attention.
It really works, I kid you not.
So this means that when you find your mind (and consequently feelings) stuck on a negative ("I'm a burden" - notice how bad that feels. "The job market is bad and I need a job now" - notice how that feels. IGNORE that @*$%&$ as much as possible. Switch your thinking right away to what you DO want.
"I want a job now because it would feel great to have money and stability and my life back "- (all the while try to feel what that would be like, even a little. It will shift your energy dramatically even though it seems small to you).
Practice this process as much as you can, but don't feel bad if you feel like you're not doing it right or whatever. Read Abraham - I swear they have saved my life.
If you need any more info about this process let me know.....remember, if you're mostly in a "down" place, inspiration, jobs, good stuff cannot find you because you're on the wrong channel. A tiny turn toward feeling good goes a huge long way with the Universe.
MUCH LOVE TO YOU - This will work out, I promise!
Liz
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Permalink Reply by Torben Munk Nielsen on
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Dear L
You are not alone, many have had almost the same kind of experience as you have.
I have several free e-books you can read and you can make you own coded water that will help you.
When we make coded / healing water it will work on your body mind and spirit, so take a look at www.healingwateronline.com many have been helped by these tools.
Love and light Torben
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