That's My Girl/Man, (Not) My Property!

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Permalink Reply by Becky on April 26, 2008 at 5:16pm

None of these views are how I view a relationship. The closest would be My partner and me...we belong together. BUT people belong together as long as they both choose the relationship. I would never fight for someone to keep them if they were having doubts or wanted to leave. I feel that once someone has hesitated it is time to let them go because if they really want the relationship they will come back. If I have to -make- someone stay with me, or mark someone as my property then what does that say? It says that I have to own them and their person. And I am insecure about them choosing to stay with me. I would rather have someone willingly in my life and I be willingly in their life. If in any way I have to determine or state ownership over a person (mainly I am talking about dating, not marriage) then I am not letting them choose me. And I would never know what they would choose on their own. When something ends regardless how sad it is; I am thankful. That says I wasn't the choice of the other person and if I did commit and in a way mark them as my husband or life partner, mine, then at some point later they might decide not to choose me. I would rather know sooner than after I have invested a huge portion of my life in the relationship. I guess I would say if I put a quote on relationships "I choose to be with you, you choose to be with me....we choose to love each other." I believe love is a choice.

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Permalink Reply by mszee on April 26, 2008 at 6:01pm

This can be inturpeted in 2 different ways.....it all is controlled by intent....core intent. If it is coming from good, pure love....be flatter my friend. If it is coming from negative intent....turn and walk again....They just dont know..

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Permalink Reply by Heather on April 26, 2008 at 6:10pm

Yin and yang. Good and evil. Light and dark. My husband and I. Through a careful balance we make a whole. We are adding unto a greater, broader experience in this life together, than either of us would have if alone. We have attracted each other...and we are perfect partners.

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Permalink Reply by emetita on April 26, 2008 at 6:49pm

In a relationship just because we decided to be together Husband and me it doesn't mean I own him or he ownes me... tha's one of the biggest mistakes that the majority of couples made... they think now that we are married, living together or whatever relatioship you have s/he is my property and it stops the romance and the cherish of each other and it just take each other for granted and that far from the truth.... I think as long as that person wants to be with you willingly and respect you and trust you that's what it counts... once you start thinking that he/she is your property you are thinking of that person not as a human being but as an object... we can only own things not people...
In my case I think of my partner as someone that I love, cherish and respect but I'm not possess him. At the moment he stops loving me it's time to move on, I wouldn't like to be in a relationship where the other person he obligated to stay and it's not because he want to be with me.

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Permalink Reply by Robert James on May 27, 2008 at 3:53pm

I think love is something that comes naturally. Just because we made some promises during the marriage doesnt automatically translate to a blessed loved life. The intensity of love can keep changing. At times we may expect more from our partner, but he may not feel so. He/she may be more hard pressed with health issues, or anything and may not feel like upto it. The same may be true the other way. We can not always be 100% lovy lovy types.
I think a person can be in love with two people at one time and be loyal too. Again like I said its a natural thing. Its a thought, a feeling that flows down in our minds when we are excited. And I dont think we should suppress the feeling of passion if it arises so damn naturally for another person. It need not be the one whom you married.
Nevertheless we must try to tolerate and bear each other ina marriage, else the sole meaning of marriage is defeated.

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Permalink Reply by Powerdollars on April 26, 2008 at 6:51pm

Interesting question Blackpearls,

As we all knows, no one can force another person to belong to them, unless that person is insane, not looking at the whole picture other than a few good reasons. In my point of view love does not have to be blind. I would have to consider, if we have vibes that are solid as iron, ideas and interests that matches in every way, and most importantly can listen to one another’s views and compromise successfully, and last but not least have needs for one another, then I would like to think of us as belonging together passionately. Otherwise the relationship must have limits, until all necessary circumstances are met, before one becomes a property of untrue meanings.


Powerdollars

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Permalink Reply by Gina on April 27, 2008 at 12:01am

Hi All
I am new to this site, and wondered what you would think in a situation like mine...
About Feb 1st I saw an Oprah show about writing down what you want to manifest and I wrote down that I would like a relationship with a guy that I can talk to everynight until it would develop into relationship. Well about 28 days later I met this younger guy, who I never would have thought about and it turned out to be a great attraction. But he is in another state, but I wrote him once, and he has been writing or calling me every day(!) It was nice, until I found out he lives with someone, who has the same name as me. (he told me what she looks like and she is a former model, so I am feeling very insignificant to him, and wonder if she is so great, why he continues to contact me, email me and call me long distance.) I am puzzled, and I dont want to be negative about him, but I keep trying to tell myself we are just friends, but really, that isn't what I wanted in the first place...One minute he is going away with her for a few days, the next minute he is telling me she dates other people, and its "okay" that he does, too, but since I am far away, I have no way of what is really going on here, and so far he is Honest to a fault with me. I just dont know why or if I should continue to even communicat with him any longer... in a few months, there is a convention that I could go to, and he is planning on going but I asked him about it, and his girlfriend, her friends, and family members, and even father is going and he told me that I can hang out with them if I wanted to.... (ouch!) Trust me, I didn't want to manifest All of THIS stuff! How can I spin this situation??? (by the way, he writes amourous notes to me) HELP!

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Permalink Reply by Blackpearls on April 27, 2008 at 1:28am

...lHmm...Ok! First, if this isn't what you wanted to be manifested, why do you keep it in your Manifestation-Area? I think you've more problems to say "No" than to really get rid of him & his girlfriend! He being in another state and you just where you are.....even if you did attract this in your life, consciously or not, that doesn't mean that you've to buy every "Bullshit" he tells you! Forgive the expression, but sometimes it's just good to call a Dog a "Dog" and a Cat a "Cat"! So let's call the pets by their names ;-)!
So he calls you every day, but avoids to mention that he lives with a woman that "by coincidence" has the same name as you have....
How did you get the information? Has he told you after you've asked him or through another source?
If he told you, at least he doesn't lie on the scene, but backstage it seems to be another story.
I don't want to talk him bad, I don't know the guy! If it's ok for him to meet other women than his girlfriend and that's ok for her too....well than, they got a kind of agreement between each other where you just not fit in!...or you like that kind of situation....! On the other hand, you never saw her, you never talked to her, so he can tell you everything as long you have no way to find out if it's the truth. There's a distance, he plays at home with his girlfriend and with you when he's out of town.....Don't you call that a "Player" in america?
But let's get to the point!
Does he fit with the image on how you want to be treated by a man?
Why should the guy tell you the truth when he knows that you buy everything he tells you?
And he knows that you're afraid to confront the truth cause without that he would not be able to openly confront you to the possibility to meet the whole familly and friends...
Too much talk from his side...and from mine too:
You want something? Take it! He doesn't qualify on what you expect from someone you want to be with? Get rid of him. Nobody has to be perfect, but that's never the point. The truth alone is perfect by itself! The bottom line is, you never needed help! You just have to do what you should have done right from the moment you realized that all this polygamistic stuff doesn't fit with what you wanted to be manifested in love and if being polygamist makes them happy, fine. That's even ok, as nobody should tell to someone how s/he has to live. But with you, it might be that he's gaming! We have over 6 billion people all around the world....doesn't that give you any idea? Boys play, Men respect! You owe you self-respect 1st and then owe yourself to be respected by anyone! If you're not clear on that, guys like your boy will just grow like mushrooms around you. If you like polygamy, then you never had a problem, everything's fine. But as this isn't your stuff, why do you loose your time with that??? By loosing your time with this situation, you might miss thoses situations that are really in alignment with what you want. Be clear on that and you won't be "Puzzled" whatever you're told....It starts by you; he was only the living manifestation of your unclarity.Be more specific on what you want in a relationship. Doesn't have to be a huge list!
Only a specific one!

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Permalink Reply by Sheila on April 27, 2008 at 4:19am

Hai Gina,

You create new things with your consiouss mind but also with your uncounsiouss mind. That is why the manifestation is not always the same as your goal. When you met a guy who is still in a relationship, what about your self-esteem. How worthy you find yourself? The power of manifestation is all in your mind. It is about mindset. What is your ideal mate? A man who is still in a relationship? Yes or No. When the answer is No, let it go and create new things. Become consiouss about yourself. What is it that you hang un to this guy?

The ideal mate for me is someone who challenge me to become a better person, encourage me to learn new things, communicates with me and we help eachother to grow en become more consiouss.

Of course it is nice to have a mate who make you feel perfect, who worships you, who put you on a pedestal, but that is only built on a low self-esteem, built on an illusion, a fairy tail. Because you need that attention, it is like a spiral.

Choose someone who foster your development instead of fullfilling your self-esteem. It is not important what he is saying about his girl and what she is doing. It is important if you want someone who is having a relationship. Do not focus you on the things he is telling you, but focus on what you want in your life. What is the voice inside your head telling you and listen to it.

Namaste
Sheila

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Permalink Reply by corallsummer on April 27, 2008 at 3:43am

80 % of the properties and land is owend by men. And with that most woman still are dependent of the man. And in that lies that many woman are married for practical, familiar, traditional reasons.But of course there are both men and women who doesn`t own anything. So.My point is with this, that when people are dependent of the partner, properties, money they can`t see past the illutions of love.Falling in love is also dependense and an illution. To passion, to sex.Dependence are fear of lacking.Of not be accepted, of loosing status and so on.
Real love is altruistic love for me. where you can be with your partner, and be free. Free in thoughts, speach, and choises. Like best friends. Where two people walking beside eachother.No one over, or under.
Where both respect the partner, and respect the commitment they made. Where both can feel free to grow by learning. Where the passion for life and people, and not only the partner is the center.
When you can be a free spirit and human in a relationship, without fear to be who you truly are, you are in a true relationship with growth at its core.But true love is love to oneself.And to find it, you have to dare to be alone and get to know you.Your needs, your true feelings, your belifes.and when you`ve found your soul, you know what you want.Not what you don`t want. And when you know who you are, you see your soulmate when he is there.Then you KNOW its him/her.And you won`t feel the need to own.Because there are no fear of loosing.Cause you know who you are. And you want the same for everyone.And your partner.
Love and fear.Growth and fall.Ying and yang. And we need both to know our self, and then we know our partner.Respect and self respect.Love.
That`s how I see it.

Love from Corallsummer;)

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Permalink Reply by Ana on April 27, 2008 at 6:06am

Well I`ll say this "If you love somebody set them free:)"
Uncle Sting had sad this briefly and correctly. No one likes to be in somebody else's web or under control, that is why we leave our parents homes (depends on the parents :)) Relationship is unity and trust, you don`t need to put any effort, it is meant to be easy and effortless (Kundera). You only speak your thoughts and give energy, no fear no limitation. If you really love each other it`s easy and normal as breading. Do you feel like you have to work when you breath, people? I don`t. So just relax be yourselves, laugh as much as you can together and you will grow. So natural as everything in this universe. Pay attention to this: TWO individuals in love, AS ONE. They spin around each other, but they still keep there own space to themselves. Ring a bell :)

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Permalink Reply by Holistic Healers Academy Founder on April 27, 2008 at 10:16am

Well, the way I grew up, i'd say the closest would be 'we belong together', but after learning and practicing LOA and creating reality, and even altering the unthinkable, as well as studying quantum physics, I DO realize that EVERYTHING, even the tiniest remote situation in our lives is being attracted BY US... not always understood as to why, and the reason is that it's more about vibration than just one thought!! so if YOUR vibration is giving off a sense of worthlessness, you may attract the controller type. If your vibration (which basically just means your ideals, beliefs, package of thoughts and feelings as a whole) is in a place of light, love, joy, bliss, expectance, courage, trust, faith, (which means deterring your negative thinking as fast as something pops in your head, and reverting it to another more lifting thought) eventually (as i learned in ancient wisdom teachings), your thoughts and feelings will filter out the negative creatons from appearing in your life. TIME really doesn't exist, but if YOU are living from a lower vibration, time can seem to stand still, and your vibration wil create manifestations months down the road, even years..BUT LISTEN... as i know this to be true, if you raise your vibrations, filter out the negatives, and allow your past creations to catch up and filter out, your NEW HIGHER VIBRATION will manifest your most joyous creations AT A FASTER RATE, until eventually you get so used to it, that TIME almost ceases to exist for you, and manifestations become INSTANT!! this is all very true, it's just that you have to take it as your own truth...by practicing and sticking with this, i assure you it works!!

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