Problem, maybe?

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Permalink Reply by litehart on August 7, 2008 at 5:44am

Once you start being happy with what you are than what you have, you can be what you want.....

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Permalink Reply by #Goliath on August 7, 2008 at 5:46am

I think im in a bad place that is making it hard for me to understand exactly what you mean by this...
WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU MEAN BY THIS!? haha

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Permalink Reply by Leslie on August 7, 2008 at 9:14am

Something that was said to me a long time ago is this: It's not any of my business what other people think of me.

And really, it's true! There will always be people who think this or that about me..and ultimately what that does is make me question myself. If I am feeling lack or insecurity about myself, then what others think of me can sway my own feelings....either in one way or another.

I totally hear and understand what you are saying though. Seeing others when we are feeling not so great about ourselves is tough. I just know that when I get to that space...I repeat to myself what I just wrote to you!

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Permalink Reply by DJ0 on August 7, 2008 at 5:58am

Sometimes we have to say "So what" to what others will think. Some people will judge you just because you might wear black and listen to heavy metal music. You seem to hold resentment towards him. Maybe he hurt you and suddenly everything seems to be going well for him. There's celebrities people despised but behind closed doors there life is chaotic. Maybe you take things too seriously and think life's a big competition? Life's not serious and it's not a competition. You don't want to spend your life worrying about what others think, unless you're working somewhere and need to wear uniform and say "Sir" or "Madam" to people.

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Permalink Reply by #Goliath on August 7, 2008 at 6:00am

:|
I don't think life is a competition nor do i take things too seriously i just didn't understand why i was feeling that way, and yes i may worry about what they think but its only because i have been involved with these two boys and i thought we held something special together. I guess it just kinda hurts a bit.

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Permalink Reply by DJ0 on August 7, 2008 at 6:06am

That's good about the competition thing. I was wondering what your thoughts were because of your post. I know the feeling you have, it does hurt but they don't sound like good friends if they rejected you. But it's there loss and you've got wonderful things to offer in friendship. Maybe you need to meet some new people you can connect with?

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Permalink Reply by DJ0 on August 7, 2008 at 6:27am

oh yeah forgot to add, it does hurt but does heal when you want them to be happy despite what they may of done. It also heals when you know you're able to meet other people who could connect with you.

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Permalink Reply by genevieve on August 7, 2008 at 6:31am

Hi Golaith,

you are a very advanced being for your age, I have always enjoyed reading your posts. I think what you might be experiencing is the sadness that people cant all remain friends even if they have history together. Some of this is to do with the basic biological system and makes us look for a mate who is faithful to us and doesnt look at other people so that we can establish a base for having a family. But at a Soul level we are all one family, and we need to care about each other. I know that you cannot easily just strike up a friendship again with these people that you had fun with in the past, because they might have girlfriends and so your presence could cause jealousies (especially as you are so beautiful and smart). but on a Soul level you are still thier friend and when you act from a Soul level you can still be a friend, just dont expect them to be able to be so mature about being a soul friend back to you.

But since you have felt that "soul tug" when you saw their pictures, why not just send them a pleasant comment of support for what they are doing or if you find you cannot do that just keep them in your prayers. On this Physical plane we chose to be separate and that sometimes leads to loneliness but always remember that they are ALL your friends and WE are all your friends on a Soul level and if we go way back up higher than the Soul level we are all ONE in LOVE and in GOD.

A great friend of mine once said to me that if I am in conflict with someone or someone is being cruel to me or making me feel sad or upset, I should just imagine their Soul or HIgher Self and mine watching the physical drama unfold ...we might not be friends but our Souls are a Great Friends..and so it is possible to talk directly to their Soul and ask for a llttle respite ...and little miracles start to happen.

I also have a list on my kitchen cupboard of all my friends, and people I like ...but then I started to add people that cause me conflict or even pain because I recognise that they are my friends on another level. When I look at the list, I start to feel so much compassion and love for them and for me for our interactions.

Perhaps some of these ideas might help a little ...but if not dont worry .. something good always comes of difficult times or sad feelings if you open up to them.


lots of love Gen

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Permalink Reply by Sandy Lee Jones on August 7, 2008 at 7:05am

Things are in the past, we all have a past we all create differently with each new experience. Things are getting better every moment. You are successful just being here on this earth. We all go through the heavy and light times. It's okay to be you, be where you are right now, and the kind of people you want in your life are people who just love you for who you are. See yourself as perfect and not flawed.

Many Blessings,
Sandy

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Permalink Reply by mertz524 on August 7, 2008 at 8:22am

I know how it feels, Goliath. (That seems funny typing that name -- I'm curious why you chose it! You don't have to say if you don't want. I like it, though.)

I have had those moments when everything was rollin' along just peachy-keen and all of a tsudden something hits like that -- WHAM! and there I am back in the mode I didn't want to be in.

So what I have to do is remember that when I get to that space, it's another opportunity to grow and develop myself. I know that when that happens I realize that in some part of me I'm still not happy with myself.

First, you feel that you are not "cool." I sense that you feel being "cool" means that you would be nervous and not comfortable around them. I've had that feeling too.

For many years (and still some now) I've felt like I didn't belong, or wanted to somehow FEEL LIKE I fit into a situation where I just didn't feel like I "measured up." All of the inferior feelings were simply mine. They had nothing to do with what the other people thought. And the happier I get with myself, the more I realize this. It's a great feeling.

I spent years and years in therapy, got on medication, etc. But the feelings persisted. OK, this is starting to sound like a testimonial now! A couple years ago I started listening to CDs that have on them a sound technology that is designed to help me get into a meditative state, and raise my threshhold for stress -- that is, cope with stress better. And last summer I had the biggest meltdown I think I've ever had in my life. After getting through it, I came out better on the other side, but still struggling. (Having listened to the CDs helped me through it, I am sure, even tho' I'd quit listening for a while.) Early this year, my shrink put me on a new medication. I started listening to a new set of CDs from a different company that are cheaper but I hope work just as well, or maybe better. With both of these, I have been feeling remarkably better, after 30 years of low-level depression and anxiety that never really quit.

And that has helped me to feel like I'm becoming the person I'm meant to be. How it all has worked, I don't know. Sandy and others have reminded me that so many things work for so many people -- and the aim is to find what works for you and me.

I say this to tell you that it is possible for you to attract ways to really feel great about yourself so that you can feel confident and loving in the midst of such situations. I like the suggestion from Gen that you see these guys and relate to them on a soul level. It helps so much to think of that, because I react to what's on the surface, forgetting that, like me, they too are souls on a journey; souls who know that they are beautiful and wonderful and perfect. Sometimes I feel like some of the things I want in relationships seem impossible, until I believe that in some way, I can relate to the people I love on that soul level, and know that I have touched them in some way. It's an awesome feeling.

So, Goliath, what is it that you want in this situation? Do you want to feel more at ease and not so fearful of seeing them (if you do)? Do you want to feel a sense of joy on their behalf when you see what they are doing? Do you want to embrace the beauty of who you are right now knowing that this is all that really matters and the rest will follow? When you see them smiling and having a good time, is this what you want in your life -- not to prove something to them so much as to just have this joy for yourself? I'll bet it's all of this and more.

You smiling and having a great life for yourself is the best statement you can make to your friends, your former friends, and anyone you encounter in the world. Their happiness may be contingent upon external circumstances, or not. Your happiness can be based on internal joy that comes from your source, your soul: who you really are.

Because that IS who you are, and you are in such a good place to do it.

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Permalink Reply by MysticPaige on August 7, 2008 at 8:33am

Dear Goliath,

Everything will not be perfect for you all the time or for that matter any of us can have a moment. You have done the next right thing though and you should be very proud of yourself and that is get in touch with people who do care about and love you and are in total support of you doing your very best. You are also right to name the thing that disturbs you and you have, fear.

My very best suggestion to you is that you are lacking a few things and one is your magic bag of tools. You did grab two tool and that is to identify and ask for support. It is a great think that you were strong enough to identify the fear. It is often told that you cannot be in fear and spirituality at the same time. Thank the divine power that this is only a moment and you can train your brain to realize this. This magic bag of tools should also contain a strong cord/connection to your divine power, to fall back on in times like this. Mine contains instant prayers to my divine power that are already prepared. You might find one you like and repeat it over and over until the moment passes.
Mine also contains the ability to surround myself with angels and yours could be totem animals, spirit guides, etc. The idea is to concentrate and focus on say like the angels like I do for protection all the while praying to the divine presence and get to a point where you have faith and hope that these tools will work for you. Your magic bag may contain whatever it is that makes you comforted and may not be like mine at all. Your prayer could be an affirmation or favorite quote, poem or sonnet, something that you truly believe in with all your heart. If you have a treasure map or visionary board this would be the time to take it out and look at it. With all of this your fears will pass because you have trained yourself that they will.

In time you will not have the self-esteem issues that you do and realize that these friends, like others have said are not friends and let them go. Easier said then done, but you must try and make this one of your goals. Someone else mentioned resentment, so make sure that you do not have resentments or jealousys against this group and send them positive energy and be glad they are where they are. This thought of yours that they appear shiney is only a facade. If they are in a band and being celebrated, it is there way of making themselves be happy and perhaps it is a low level form at that, very materialistic and prideful If you have done something to any of them that makes you feel guilty then maybe it is time to make a forgiveness list and when you are ready face them and do you ask forgiveness for your part. This is the spiritual aspect of the laws of attraction. Without spirit there is no laws of attraction.

Make your magic bag ready for this next moment of fear that comes by so you are completely ready to dispel how things make you feel as in fearfull or negative. Trust your process because the idea is to become spiritually aware and not spiritually dull.

If you do run across them, muster up all you can to say hello and show them that you are in the best space you can be and remember what other people say about you is their business.

Success to you in your journey Goliath and remember you have a big bundle of friends now who are are on side and will help you in any way that we can. Hugs, Paige

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Permalink Reply by Brian Erik on August 7, 2008 at 9:51am

I feel like there is some degree of moving on in your getting over them process that you still need to work on.
I think some of the advice given to people who are still hurting over an ex can apply to you.
It sounds to me like you are very sensitive over it because there's a part of you that's not moved on yet.
I once was talking to a friend of mine who told me he was going to be my ex's roomate and it totally triggered stuff in my while talking to him. I was not over my ex totally and it caught me by surprise that they were now going to be roomates and I wasn't comfortable talking about her or even knowing too much about her because I hadn't moved on so I was overly sensitive about even the mention of her name.
I feel like you might have some of this going on.
Goliath, the best way to find out what the exact issue is, is to just tune in and ask yourself, "what must I believe right now in order to feel this way"? Write out all the negative stuff that pops up concerning this situation and create new beliefs that now empower you.

Also, here is a post on someone having a hard time moving on that might help. Depending on what the real underlying issue you have is, this may or may not help, I don't know, but I think there's at least some stuff here in this post that will resonate with you because I feel like what I wrote her applies to you in a lot of ways.
http://www.powerfulintentions.org/forum/topic/show?id=1335877%3ATop...

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