I'm Blocking Myself

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Permalink Reply by genevieve on August 12, 2008 at 5:07am

Have you tried "free writing" as a method of getting unblocked.

Dedicate 20 minutes or so to just writing exactly what flows from your head, no punctuating and no analyzing, no stoping to think, just dumping it all on paper, even if it is all stuff about work or about being unsatisfied and all the shoulds and shouldnts that cloud up our thinking. If you give expression to all the "imperfect" thoughts you may find you free up your flow for your better quality work.

It is also a way of tapping into your subconscioius. Sometimes when we have two seemingly equal sides to an equation, like yours, to leave this job or not, we cannot tackle it in a conscious way because the two sides just weight up exactly ...but the subconscious may have a slightly different view or bias.

Worth a try ?

love and light Gen

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Permalink Reply by astral on August 12, 2008 at 5:41pm

Thankyou Gen for replying,
being in a different time zone I was probably asleep when this came in. LOL
I do use free writing sometimes and it is very helpful to clear any emotional blocks too.
I'm sort of looking forward to National Novel writing month as free writing in story form is exactly what you are supposed to do. I look to November with a mixture of excitement and horror. I think it will be very good for me.

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Permalink Reply by Beth on August 12, 2008 at 6:07am

Yes, you have answered your own question- ONe thing I would think about amping up is your wording and to check in with yourself when you say/type "Should I just enjoy the process and be happy I have atleast half the life I ache for?" See what it feels like when you say that to yourself - where do you feel it in your body and what does it feel ike? - you are certainly on your way- Astral- see if you can iron out the road ahead of you for a much smoother, delightful ride!
Blessing to you -
Live Big and ride the wave-
b

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Permalink Reply by astral on August 12, 2008 at 5:43pm

Beth, thanks for your reply,
You are so right. I almost always feel these things in the pit of my stomach. I've been pulled up before for using words like 'should', 'must' etc. Thanks for reminding me.

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Permalink Reply by Seamus Ennis on August 12, 2008 at 9:36am

astral,

Yep, you answered your own question. I love how Spirit works that way!

When you're writing and in the groove, there's a flow to it, right? You can feel yourself connected to Source, making connections with new thoughts, making a difference in your creative expression and it feels good.

Well, the flow is the thing. It doesn't matter if you're writing or teaching or baking bread or gardening, the flow is the thing. This is Source flowing thru us and we can apply that flow to everything that we do. And when we step into the flow, it will take us where we need to be, exactly in the right way, exactly in the right time.

I know this because there is also within me an inner conflict between my "day job" and the dream I have of teaching this Law. But when I see Spirit/Source IN THE MIDST of the job, and step into the flow, then I can allow Source to move me to teach it and live it here, now in this moment.

Thanks, I needed to see that, too! I love how Spirit works!

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Permalink Reply by astral on August 12, 2008 at 5:45pm

Thankyou Seamus,
To be honest I rarely experience any flow with my creative writing these days because I am so hung up on quality. And you are absolutely right. The time it flows best for me at the moment is when I'm voicing my thoughts. I will most certainly look out for flow in my daily life. Thankyou so much for reminding me of it.

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Permalink Reply by Mary K Weinhagen on August 12, 2008 at 3:20pm

As I read your post astral, I found myself a bit confounded by your statement "I know that staying is the right decision" followed by your admission that there is another life you ache for --

It seemed to me that if you hold the knowing that staying is the right decision that there wouldn't be any ache...

And I'm so glad I've had the opportunity to expand my thinking and feeling enough to wrap my head around these two things NOT being mutually exclusive long enough for me to recognize the power of the infinite NOW moment.

THANKS so much for your post!

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Permalink Reply by Beth P. on August 12, 2008 at 4:42pm

Astral, I can relate perfectly to where you are right now. I'm doing the same, working a job and writing a book. The "trick" is to always keep your thoughts flowing in the direction of the manifestation of your dreams. As I write, I am "in the flow" as Seamus describes and I just float on the great feelings I get as I am working and so enjoying that connection to source I get when I am expressing those ideas in my work.

When I have to leave and go to my "day job" I continue riding that wave of good feelings and if I feel myself disconnecting, I go through my list of dream aspects of getting my book published, the people who I will be able to help, and the freedom of abundance I KNOW I will have and DO have right now because I am in the good feeling of being in alignment with who I really am in the now!

Even though I am not yet a published author I constantly look for the evidence of what I am wanting coming to me, and that evidence is the constant flow of good feelings I experience when I am dreaming about and thinking about the work I want to do full time. That dream in the process of becoming and the real evidence is all around. You just have to keep your eyes open and your being connected. The process becomes easier and easier every day.

Blessings to you and your dreams, never give up!
Beth

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Permalink Reply by astral on August 12, 2008 at 7:20pm

Thanks Beth, I wish you best of luck with your own endeavours.
I really feel that my major block is wanting it too much ... thinking about it too much and forgetting that everyday living is so, so important as well.
I was reading through some old diaries last night to try and find a time when I was happier. I didn't have these aspirations then. I was mostly enjoying where I was, who I was with getting on with it.
I have felt a pressure to achieve something as I get older, and last night I was contemplating what it was I wanted to achieve. I had written in my diary when I was a teenager that I wanted to study to be a teacher, have children and a house and good marriage. the trouble was, I achieved that dream so early on I forgot to enjoy it - I was looking for the next goal.
So my goals are changing today.
I am aiming to find joy, love and light in the everyday things; in the clean washing put away, in the tidy kitchen, in the laughter of my children playing with my dogs and in the very special times like listening to my son sing at the Opera House tonight.
I feel totally realxed and at ease saying these things. So I know they must be right.

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Permalink Reply by astral on August 12, 2008 at 8:21pm

(Just moving this comment, i posted it in the wrong place)
Wow, I'm still trying to work that one out in my own head. LOL
No, like I said what I have is not that bad. I feel it is meeting my needs. I had a good long think about this last night and decided that I just need to nurture my spirit more. I have a lot already. I would have a much happier life if I relaxed and stopped striving to get somewhere because I am already in a very good place.
That might not make sense to you, not knowing the first thing about me really. but it feels right to say it.

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Permalink Reply by Brian Erik on August 12, 2008 at 5:04pm

Here's what I see. You say "it's just not where I want to be - where I am supposed to be and it's making me unhappy." First off you are saying it's not where you are supposed to be. That, right there, is going to make you unhappy. I know what you mean is "In your heart of hearts, your ultimate dream is to WRITE", I get that, but, right now, that job is where you are, so if you keep saying "I should be a successful writer, I should be a successful writer, this job is not where I am supposed to be", you will make yourself very unhappy in your NOW.
Yes, I get that your dream is the writing, but a better way of stating it is "I PREFER, to be a successful writer, I don't have that going just yet, I will though, but since I have not created this writing career just yet, I will do my best to enjoy the job I now have and focus my thoughts on manifesting my dream career of writing."
In other words, what I am encouraging you to do Astral, is make peace with what-is. Enjoy your now as much as possible, create a list of 15 things that are great about your current job and from that place of Joy, now your Vibration is UP and you will more likely create your writing career. Pardoxically, you will manifest you writing career even faster if you love your current job. Why? It's about Vibration and feeling good makes you a better manifester.
The other ting is that it sounds like you need to create at least 4 or 5 faith affirmations to give you confidence that you can TOTALLY be a writer Astral. I can sense you don't believe in yourself much in this area. Write out all the disempowering beliefs you are telling yourself about writing and turn them around to me EMPOWERING beliefs and keep repeating some of them every day. --They will sink in before you know it.
OK?

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Permalink Reply by astral on August 12, 2008 at 7:24pm

Oh My God Brian, if you read my reply to Beth (above) you will see that I came to exactly that conclusion jsut before I read your reply - how amazing is this forum???!!!! I love it.
For such a long time I have hated housework and thought that making loads of money will be my way of getting out of it. And right now at this very moment I realise what i've been missing out on. LIFE ... here and now. Enjoying what is instead of yearning for what can be.
Thankyou so much for confirming exactly the conclusion I had come to.
I feel great ... i'm goign to go fold some washing!!!! LOL

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