I can't see why god would love me?

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Permalink Reply by songstar on August 20, 2008 at 11:48am

I had terrible self esteem for years. I started a relationship with God many years ago and I remember thinking along the same lines. I understood a long time ago that I needed to love myself but I was just at a total quandry at how to begin such a process. I had begun to realize that you have to connect with yourself to connect with God. One thing that helped me is that I went back over my story line the last 10 years because I had beaten myself up pretty bad about some decisions I had made and I was also around a lot of people who were beating me up pretty bad about those decisions. What I found was that I had made those choices for really well motivated reasons. So I made an effort to give myself compliments and give myself understanding. When I played third person looking back on the reasons I made those choices I started to get an inkling of just how wonderful I am. Gradually as I continued this process, the people who didn't believe in me just fell out of my life. At first I just had to accept that God was going to love me because he chose to. But as I grow in love for myself and learn to enjoy me, I have learned that God enjoys me.

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Permalink Reply by Mia on August 20, 2008 at 12:19pm

You know Paul and Songstar...(Love the name)

You are right about low self eseteem. I have suffer from that myself for most of my life. And on top of that I have a very toxic father. He is an abuser. Lord knows it's very hard to love. I can honestly say I don't have any love for him. Just pitty and thankfully the hate is gone. So, I just deal with him and stay clear from him as much as I can.

But anyway, my point is, when we are down we tend attract vampires in to our lives. They latch on to us and just drain us from what is real.
They are toxic people that just suck the life out of us because we are easy targets. And they love to mess with people who are down, they pump you up one minute then cut you down the next. It's awful and it can go on for years.

However the one thing I learn after many years, is the reason they beat me down with emotions, ect was because they knew I AM a gift to this world. That there is goodness in me and I am stronger then they are. I will give more good to this earth and the lives that I touch then they ever will or could. Selfish toxic people. WE all need to stay away from them. Pary for them, but let those people go. They are downers.

I don't need to prove myself to this world. I don't need to put others down in order to feel good about myself and when that happens the the most wonderful things start to happen. Trust me I know.

I started to notice how much I love myself and from then on I saw all the good in the world. And how much I am loved by other people that are healthy in my life. They bless and enrich me everyday! I wouldn't trade them in for all the money in the world! I'm the most richest person in love! I really am!
I know it as I breath the air that God's LOVES me! Just like he loves all of us. Even his lost children, he loves us all. I mean what a great gift to know that you are loved.

It's a pretty awesome feeling loved...But it ROCKS tol love yourself frist!

Remember you are loved! You'll feel it....This I know :-)

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Permalink Reply by ariesx on August 20, 2008 at 12:39pm

Thinking that God does not love you is only a thought in your mind.And by thinking that way you then create situations consciously or unconsciously in your life to reinforce that thought an/or feeling...which then just continues to bring more into yoru life to make you think that "God really does not love me".

Another good book to read with some very good deas about this very kind of thinking is"Busting Loose from The Money Game" It's not basically about money,but about how we approach everything in our life,how we make ourselves losers etc.Hope this helps.

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Permalink Reply by mertz524 on August 20, 2008 at 12:33pm

What's your past experience of belief in God like?

Sounds like you were told (and you now tell yourself) at some point in your life that you weren't lovable. That's a hard belief to change, but it is possible.

Have you been able to be among people, or counseling, or groups (like this!) that can help you get that sense of love? Do you deal with depression -- a sort of blank feeling inside?

These can all affect how you feel about yourself, by all means, one way or the other. With depression, of course you feel pretty much worthless. Depression can be at least partly chemical, and there are medications that can help that.

What is one thought, memory, or an event in your life, that made you feel good? Or is there? If there's not, I'm venturing to guess you are indeed dealing with depression.

There really are resources there. Please contact me via email through this site about these things if you like to let me know more about what's going on, if you choose. I'll be happy to listen.

And know, even if you don't feel it, that God loves you.

Also, if it helps, you might want to consider letting go of the God concept if it dredges up in you bad feelings. Sometimes lots of feelings get linked to the word "God" that might not be there if you think of the universe as loving you, or even just "the force" like Star Wars (though that doesn't really turn me on) or just "love" as an entity in the universe -- because it's the substance of what is.

Be in touch, Paul.

Mary Jo

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Permalink Reply by ~♥Here comes a Lady on a wheelchair with THAT dog.♥~© on August 20, 2008 at 12:50pm

I was in the White Light Tunnel Twice before the age of 9 by my mom's left hand over my nose & mouth....saw Jesus Christ once. Jesus Christ sent me back to my mom. Let me tell you for a 4 yr old that was heavy stuff when you are born and raized a Catholic taught "Jesus Loves Me Yes I know Cause the Bibles Tells Me So". Not the Jesus I met back then, He though me out of Heaven.

I been though a lot since then and seen Christ a lot since then too. Have made Peace between my mom and Christ and God.

I know this for a FACT.

Paul R .....God does NOT make mistakes.
You are a special person. there is no one on earth just like you. You are here for a VERY special purpose and ONLY you can do it. You will live here until your purpose is fullfilled. You ARE BELOVED in the Eye of God. You ARE Forever. You ARE Loved. You ARE Foregiven.

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Permalink Reply by genevieve on August 20, 2008 at 1:58pm

Hi Paul,

are you any good at visualisations ? can you visualise this.

Imagine that you are in Heaven with God long before you decided to come here on Earth. You are made in the image and likeness of God and you are full of HIs love and you are surrounded by other souls that love you too and you just love them right back. And then you start to meet souls who have been to Earth and you really enjoy their stories and you go to God and say "God, I would love to go to Earth and experience all the things I hear other souls talk about", God is delighted but warns you that you will forget that you are so LOVED as you are now and that on Earth you will experience both Love and Lack of Love and that the Love wont be as ectatic as it is here, and the lack of love may be painful or fearful or not pleasant.

But you dont really understand this as you know only LOVE but you are interested in experiencing so much more. And God leads you to the Earth's entrance point and you scan the Earth for a suitable mother and father, a suitable country and situation and down you go. And God looks at your choice and wonders what does Paul hope to experience by having those people and situations in his life ? But He loves paul and knows his choices will all be right.

Now time has gone by and every day GOD goes to look down at you to see how you are doing, He loves you so much and even more (if that is possible) for deciding to try out HIs Planet Earth and all its contrasts, love, hate, joy, pain, illness, health, poverty, riches. He watches you as you slide away from knowing HIS LOVE, and he waits patiently and lovingly for you to ask for help, as you have already made a pact that you will have Free Will, and no one will intervene unless you ask.

And today God is particularly happy (if that is possible) because today His beloved Paul is asking for help and now He can intervene. God loves Paul so much and cannot wait for Paul to come back to Heaven and tell all his experiences of dealing with Earth, the contrasts, the passage to knowing, the pitfalls, the journey, the dipping into pain and pleasure and to recount all the stories and adventures he had learning to manage Earth and the physical. God loves Paul beyond all understanding and every day God stares into Pauls eyes hoping that this day Paul will look back with Knowing in his eyes and love burning in his heart. God wants Paul to have a great time on Earth, He wants Paul to find all the answers so that he can really start to create an amazing and fun life, but no matter what Paul does on this Earth, he is still Gods Beloved, he will still get a kings welcome back and if he wants to try this out again he is free to do so ...because God loves Paul.

love Gen (He loves me too ...and ALL the other PI ers, and everyone else .........!)

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Permalink Reply by Jenny on September 3, 2008 at 4:17am

Bless you, Gen

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Permalink Reply by Brian Erik on September 3, 2008 at 11:04pm

Wow, Gen, that was really damn good.
It is kind of along the lines of what I kind of stumbled across myself as I mentioned below. It wasnt' as detailed as u put it, but it captured the gist of it without the details you put there. I enjoyed what you wrote and I think if that worked for me, it could help Paul too because as I said below, I could NOT snap out of my self judgments, and I finally did to a HUGE degree with a very similar path as the one you outlined.
Great job.

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Permalink Reply by Silver Girl on August 20, 2008 at 2:06pm

Try it, then you will believe it.

Anyone on here can say anything they want but you need to find your faith from the inside. Look for the better feeling thought.. Find the happiest memories you have and imagine them again and feel the happiness you felt then. Notice how your life becomes better and better.

Nobody but you can do it. So do it. It's your choice. When you ask it is always given. You have asked this question, now listen to your heart and listen to the answers that were given on this forum. Everyone is God and God is everyone. The answers are right in front of you. They always were.

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Permalink Reply by Jenny on September 3, 2008 at 4:13am

HI Paul it is not up to us to see why or to even understand that God, the God within, the Infinite Intelligence, Universal Consciousness loves us, this just IS. As human beings as I see it the biggest challenge before us is to love ourselves as much as we love others or are loved by others. Blessed Be.

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Permalink Reply by Mairi Stephen on September 3, 2008 at 5:08am

Actually you just go to dare to love yourself, say it in your head, over and over, the very word has incredible power.
I love me, I love you, I love all there is. We are all one, connected. So without a doubt, you are so very loved, just open up and let it in.....x

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Permalink Reply by Brian Erik on September 3, 2008 at 10:59pm

oh man. I had the self hatred thing in a m-a-j-o-r way for years and years. I worked on it with therapists and did all kinds of spiritual practices and everything that was designed to help me overcome it did nothing much for me. My self hatred just would not budge man. Finally somehow, I stumbled across a way out. I was surprised it worked pretty quickly. Perhaps I was very ripe for it due to all the other stuff I did, I don't know.
What I did was that I would meditate, go kind of deep and very simply I basically just thought of myself as coming from Pure Source--prior to incarnating in this body. I just got deeply connected to ALL That IS and saw myself in this heavenly realm prior to incarnation, and I saw myself as just pure Divine Spirit in that place, it was just pretty clear that I was Divine, since I was in this Pure Realm, and I am a manifestation of God, and then I just sort of imagined what it was like to come into this current body and all the time I think of my connection to Source Energy.
That's basically it. I just kept contemplating that whole scenario I describe above a little every day, while trying to keep my Connection to God strong while praying and going within throughout the day.
Somehow, that snapped me out of it. I am still surprised as I am writing this because I thought NOTHING was going to work and what did work surprised me in a major way.
I think if it worked for me, it can work for you.
I had to abbreviate the experience in order not to go on too long, but if you want more details I would be happy to say much more about it for you if you need me too.
Also, all guilt and "I should have's" just vanished after that (well, to a huge degree anyway).
Hope there is something that helps.

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