Frightened of happiness
Since i became active in this community about 3 days ago ive really enjoyed it and its like ive reached that positive frequency that i need to be at to make the things i want manifest in my reality. Last night i was here again and i went to bed in a happy mood. Then this morning i had a a bad dream and i woke up feeling terrible. At first i didnt know what it was but soon realized what it was.
Ive suffered a lot in my life and have been intensely unhappy for a long period. Including depression, panic attacks and having suicidal thoughts, although ive never actually tried to commit suicide. Of course over the years ive learned how to deal with my unhappiness better and compared to how ive felt before in my life i have to say i feel amazing.
But still i wouldnt consider myself to be a happy person. So i realized the reason i got so frightened is that i was starting to feel happy. And this has happened before. Its like i have an addiction to suffering, its become part of me to an extent. Lately i have kind of been trying to imagine a great life for myself and tried to use the LOA. But i dont think i was neccesarily on the right frequency to make that great life happen.
I just felt like i was to alone in what i was trying to achieve and i needed to talk with others who has used the LOA. So i was delighted when i found this community and and saw that there was people using this all the time and getting results with it. It immediately kind of put me on that frequency of happiness that draws good things in.
So now the dilemma arose that i dont feel comfortable on that frequency. I mean i do when i am awake, but when i go to sleep its like my subconscious takes over and refuses to allow me to be happy! I mean i havnt felt recently that i was unhappy, i just kind of floated along like everything was ok. But since this has happened ive realized for the first time how unhappy i might have been.
I mean seriously if i have that kind of reaction i cant be all that happy. Im literally frightened of being happy. Its like im almost scared to be active here anymore. Now of course i realize what is going on here and ive read a lot of books that have info on this, but i wonder if there is anyone who could give me some help on this. How will i ever manifest the life i want if i am too frightened to even be on the happiness frequency?
Thanks.
Ive suffered a lot in my life and have been intensely unhappy for a long period. Including depression, panic attacks and having suicidal thoughts, although ive never actually tried to commit suicide. Of course over the years ive learned how to deal with my unhappiness better and compared to how ive felt before in my life i have to say i feel amazing.
But still i wouldnt consider myself to be a happy person. So i realized the reason i got so frightened is that i was starting to feel happy. And this has happened before. Its like i have an addiction to suffering, its become part of me to an extent. Lately i have kind of been trying to imagine a great life for myself and tried to use the LOA. But i dont think i was neccesarily on the right frequency to make that great life happen.
I just felt like i was to alone in what i was trying to achieve and i needed to talk with others who has used the LOA. So i was delighted when i found this community and and saw that there was people using this all the time and getting results with it. It immediately kind of put me on that frequency of happiness that draws good things in.
So now the dilemma arose that i dont feel comfortable on that frequency. I mean i do when i am awake, but when i go to sleep its like my subconscious takes over and refuses to allow me to be happy! I mean i havnt felt recently that i was unhappy, i just kind of floated along like everything was ok. But since this has happened ive realized for the first time how unhappy i might have been.
I mean seriously if i have that kind of reaction i cant be all that happy. Im literally frightened of being happy. Its like im almost scared to be active here anymore. Now of course i realize what is going on here and ive read a lot of books that have info on this, but i wonder if there is anyone who could give me some help on this. How will i ever manifest the life i want if i am too frightened to even be on the happiness frequency?
Thanks.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Ecstasy on -
Btw isnt it ironic that im calling myself Ecstacy but i cant even stand normal happiness? lol
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Permalink Reply by Loren on -
Perhaps you either don't trust happiness, or maybe something you thought would make you happy wound up hurting you in the past.
Sometimes bad experiences or treatment in our lives leave us with the feeling that we don't deserve good things . . . that we don't deserve to be happy.
I would suggest immersing yourself in happiness in small, repeated doses. Treat yourself to something good — a book, a night out or movie, a massage treatment — not for accomplishing or completing something, but just because! This is practicing unconditional love for yourself. If you can grow to love and accept yourself unconditionally — just because you're alive, and you're You — then you'll be more comfortable with happiness.
We typically aren't comfortable with things that seem or feel unfamiliar to us. So don't force yourself into happiness, as force never works. Just do a little thing that you would enjoy, and then another maybe bigger thing, for longer and longer. Soon, you will be comfortable with happiness, because you'll realize you deserve it unconditionally, and then happiness will become a natural, frequent, and enjoyable part of your life.
Enjoy it!
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Permalink Reply by Ecstasy on
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Thanks Loren.
I saw a reply of u on another topic and i thought it made a lot of sense, so maybe i wanted u to reply here and u did because of the LOA!
You are right as to why i dont trust happiness, ive been disappointed in the past and ive been so unhappy that i dont think i deserve it anymore. I just think i need to take it slow like u said, cos im so used to suffering that total happiness would be a shock to my system right now.
Thanks so much, this really helps ;)
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Permalink Reply by Isabel on -
Yes, I do agree with Loren. Start with enjoying and appreciating small things. These are what makes life wonderful. Try to take pleasure in everything you do, even daily simple things like brushing your teeth, or making a cup of tea! We tend to do things mechanically without thinking about them, and these moments pass us by.
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Permalink Reply by Ecstasy on
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Thank u Isabel. This makes a whole lot of sense ;) I will start with the small things.
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Permalink Reply by Sheila on -
As you move to a higer level of awareness, your ego wants to protect you and keep you in the past.It is important that you become the captain of your ship and not your thoughts. Thougths will come and go, but you need not to identify you with your thoughts. Something that really works is, when you become aware your thoughts are negative, just say STOP in your mind, or "thank you for sharing", and do not identify yourself with your thoughts.
Next to that you also have to change the synapsis in your brains. EFT works good at this. There is a lot to find at YouTube about EFT ( emotional freedom techniques) also about being unhappy. Science find out that if you do this about 21 days, you change also your synapsis in your brains. Yes, you have to do it and take responcibility about your thougts. Becoming succesfull or staying a victim is always in our own mind.
Feeling unhappy, or feeling resitance for being happy, is coming from your subconsciouss mind. It has all to do with old believes. And a believe is nothing else than saying over and over again the same negative things to yourself. Than it becomes a believe, hidden away in your subconsiouss mind. But you also can change this by saying positive things. Saying long enough positive things, it become also a believe.
Understanding how it all works is not enough. Once you begin to understand what you are to learn of what your ego is doin, it is important to ACT on it. Pain is a powerful indicator of growth, and it can be changed with love. So don't make yourself wrong, accept it the way it is, believe you can change it en become happy. Look at you. You did better than in the past. Are you looking at the things that go better now, or are you still looking at the things that go wrong. Be aware of your own thougts.
Namaste
Sheila
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Permalink Reply by Ecstasy on
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Thanks u Sheila. This would explain why the problem is during the time that i sleep, when my sub-conscious comes alive. So its my ego that wants to resist, because it feels threatened and wants to retain control. I know its my ego(or subconscious) trying to hold me back but i wont let it. The thing is when u become happy your ego cant survive because u become selfless, and the ego would do anything to stop that.
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Permalink Reply by Brianne on -
Ecstasy, (did I spell that right?) lol.
this is actually quite normal. Most people are afraid of change, even if the change is happiness. weirdly enough, I actually think some people are happy being miserable, if that makes any sense. It's habit, so it's easier then making the changes in your life to better it. :) No worries. You're normal and on the right track.
When I began LOA myself, I found that too. My dreams were completely opposite of how I was feeling all day. I spoke with a good friend of mine who I met on here (she's awesome!) and she recommended this cd to get my conscious and sub-conscious on the same track. It's called the Secret Mind of Meditation. You listen to it when you go to sleep. I have been using it now for a couple of weeks and have to say, it's amazing. You can find it on Amazon. :) Hope it helps!
And keep going with it. LOA really works, and happiness is awesome!!! :) NO FEAR, Just go!! :)
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Permalink Reply by Ecstasy on
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Thank u Brianne. Well this cd sounds awesome, i think its just what i need! Its comforting to know the same thing happened to u. So at least i know im on the right track! Right now i think there is a split between my conscious and sub-conscious mind so im definitely going to order the cd. Thanks so much ;)
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