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Still stunned. Had completely given up. Thought he had moved on with another woman. He asked to talk last week.. Tears etc. Unfortunately I wasn't specific enough with the universe. I got everything I actually wanted, tears, serious intention from him. Then a couple days later I find out he's still drinking (he lost me, kids, hse over this). 

I had assumed he was still sober and with AA. 

More tweaking and hoponnno for his addiction. 

Sigh. 

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Hi Mona

Have you ever been to a restaurant and ordered a lovely meal, and then the waiter brings it to you and you “sigh”? You wouldn’t right.   Well the universe is a bit like the waiter. You placed an order, got exactly what you wanted so instead of sighing – CELEBRATE and give GRATITUDE for what has shown up (so far). You can always ask for other things, but its really key to acknowledge what you magically created (because you did this for sure) and show appreciation because it now lets you see just how magical and powerful you actually are. If you can create this, you can easily create something better and whether that’s this guy becoming sober or not is up to you to choose.

Ho'oponopono is never about other people, its always about ourselves and putting things right, but what that means is in the context of acknowledging where we are at present and what we have created and understanding that what we have created is based on millions of years of efforts on our parts, and then accepting responsibility and asking for forgiveness and/or guidance.

Congratulations!

its awesome when the outside starts reflecting all our inner work! 

Why not focus on someone new?

Because I still love him and we have children together. I hate the shared care arrangement. It's so hard at the holidays. This is not how things were meant to be.

Just because you love someone doesn't aways mean you have to be together in a loving relationship you know.  Its only as hard as we make it.  As to this not being how things are meant to be, if that's so, you can change it if you so wish.  You are a powerful creator and you created this and you can equally create it or something better if you choose to.

Mona , I am sure you know your stuff well. I’d like to suggest you tweak the way you speak and therefore how you feel about it. I cannot really read your feelings so I am just guessing here . Sorry if I am wrong.

As a deliberate creator, I think we must know things are never meant to be a certain way. 

Instead say, “I am the only person creating my reality, I created all the circumstances so far including my relationship,marriage, kids and these issues. It’s alright, I accept it. What next? What would make me happier? I prefer it to be a little different and choose it to be that way because it brings me a lot of joy . “

Having children together must not be a reason to love someone but loving the idea of being in love with the father of your children so you all live together happily is great. Holidays would be a great time to celebrate this togetherness. 

Does this version feel different to you? There is a lot of ease and power and fun and love and abundance in this version. 

I have used LOA in several situations where I was too afraid of the outcome and wanted a safer outcome instead. I had several successes , I manifested great apartments and opportunities and friends in a very short time. But I stayed in this place of fear and desperate action . I wanted to force things to work, I feared loneliness , I feared disappointment , I feared being a failure in the eyes of the society. Slight fear is fine just that it shouldn’t be the force ruling your life. In my case I had to reconnect with my ‘why’s’ , the biggest why being that I was doing this to reach for greater happiness. I had to reconnect with my faith in the abundance of this universe . 

Idk about you but my mother almost always slips into negative thinking whenever it concerns her children. I guess it’s our primitive instincts kicking in. If I don’t answer the phone for a long time she starts imagining all kinds of unwanted situations. When I tell her that her worries could rather harm me than help me she says - you won’t know until you become a mother! I don’t blame her, she isnt an LOA person. 

:)

How did you attract him back? What specific steps did you use?
Eh.. Few different things. I did hoponnno couple times a day (15mins each time),to forgive myself for my part in our relationship issues. Had a mind movie for us being together again. I have a weird way of visualisation.. I actually pretend to call my mom or a friend and tell her what's happened... Before it comes to pass. This always works for me. I don't get hung up on details. Takes a few trial runs before I believe it myself.. Then I can work up my emotions. I'm currently doing the same but for his addiction issues.. And a self love.

Mona

What do you mean when you say you did "Ho'oponopono couple of times a day"?  Which part, all the 12 steps process or just using the different modified tools?  How much have you actually done Ho'oponopono?  The reason I ask that is if you know Ho'oponopono you know its never about a part of yourself or a part you played, but the whole movie you have directed (i.e. your life) and that often anything that seems to go "wrong" is just a memory that needs to be loved and released.  Now with visualisation, your method isn't at all WRONG.  You need to do what works for you - and recognising that this does is great and fantastic.  For some people, they wouldn't be able to do that, so pat yourself on the back for doing so.  If you are a fan of Ho'oponopono and the method, then you would realise his addiction issues are actually yours and the part of you to heal is that part of you that he is reflecting, so when you heal and love that part of yourself the change happens because you have done that - which is a truly amazing thing.  Dr Len spoke of that time he worked in a prison - he helped the prisoners heal not by healing them but by healing that part of himself that they reflected to him.

Hi, for attracting him back.. Well I wasn't actively trying to. I was just forgiving myself for my part in our marriage failure. I just did the 'I'm sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you'. I did it a 2-3 times a day. Just until I felt a shift. It reminds me of EFT. Now for the addiction part I'm just doing the same thing. On doing that clearing I had a horrible realisation that I hated alcoholics and was furious with them all. Duh! The day after that clearing I sat with a homeless lady who I knew was a meth addict, bought her a coffee and just asked could I spend some time with her. I just felt compassion. I just wanted to connect to her... Past her addiction. I'm going to keep clearing. Sometimes it feels like sweeping under an eternal Autumn tree but sure what else can I do but grow?

Ah okay.  That is a very small part of Ho'oponopono (I'm sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you) and whilst its great Joe Vitale got that bit out there, there is a lot more to it than just that.  The good news is often people hear that and use it and get results (like you have) and then go on and learn more and go to the seminar and experience the 12 step process which is just magical.  

Ho'oponopono creates changes, but it really does so by encouraging us to look at ourselves and create the changes within ourselves which then gets reflected in the external world.  I don't know how much of it you know about other than the I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you and I love you - but there is a lot of interesting theory behind it that all our issues are just old memories or programs that we unconsciously rerun in our lives.  Great realiation you are having that its about you and your hatred rather than the actual people.  

The true essence is that you dont need to do anything - just be.  You are after all a human being (not a human doing!).

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