New relationship. New job. New house. New phone. New eyebrows. It always starts out the same. Initial ecstasy, followed by a gradual decline into irritating abyss. The only way the honeymoon phase can even exist is because everything new is unknown for the most part. So people project a glossy finish of pedestal perfection to any manifestation they’ve been wanting and finally receive. The details and little annoying nuances haven’t come into full view yet. It’s all so shiny! And general. Very easy to fall in love with.
But after awhile you come back down to Earth, like when you wake up the next morning with a headache after a fun night of drunken debauchery wondering what were you thinking. With the revelation of clearer specifics, you sober up real quick. The details of your long-awaited manifestation begin to fill in, and you give an inordinate amount of attention to everything you don’t like about it. That new manifestation seems perfect in your head. On paper, looks great. In practice, different story.
“My boss and co-workers are turning out to be just like the ones from my other job.”
“This home has just as many problems as the last one. I moved to get away from all that.”
“My new phone initially felt faster and better than my last one, but three months in I’m counting the days until the new one comes out so I can get rid of this phone I can only assume archaeologists dug up from the Stone Ages.”
Most people refer to the honeymoon phase with relationships, but this is how people view any manifestation. This is the mindset of manifestation. This mindset of, “What I don’t have is better than what I do.”
If you don’t like what you have now, you never will. You’ll trap yourself in a self-perpetuated cycle of feeling disappointed with the now while idolizing the future. But the future inevitably becomes now. So focusing on what you want or the lack of it will remain constant regardless of the conditions that are in play. No matter what happens, no matter what you manifest, you will never be satisfied long enough until you’re on to your next hit, your next fix of momentum. From desperately wanting to get it, to desperately wanting to get rid of it and wanting something else. The honeymoon phase can be addicting.
Why does the honeymoon phase wear off? Well before I answer that, let’s answer how the honeymoon phase is created in the first place.
The happy, fun, light, easygoing moon of honey is created when you give your attention predominately to what you like about someone or something.
So why does that wear off? It doesn’t have to. Sure, after awhile you won’t be jumping up and down with tears of joy over that new [insert desire] you’ve been wanting, but you can sustain your level of satisfaction. And to do that, it requires focus, something most people don’t do. Which leads to why the honeymoon phase ends.
The more people are around something, the newness (and thus generalness) begins to make way for more specifics you weren’t aware of before. The more details means the more preferences that are being born from those details. Now that you are birthing more desires with your attention to more specifics, your Inner Being has become the living embodiment of those desires. So if you want to feel good, you have to keep up with your Inner Being. You must keep up to speed with your new desires for you to continue to feel good.
But since people don’t focus and mainly react, Law of Attraction makes it easier to give their attention to what they don’t like, and brings them more. People focus on negative aspects, Law of Attraction brings more. So people focus on negative aspects, and they attract more.
It’s a vicious cycle that gets bigger and bigger, causing a bigger rift between what your Inner Being knows you want and you not keeping up with it. You become more frustrated with your once beloved manifestation, so you attract more things from that manifestation that make you unhappy, evoke more unwanted from your partner, which makes you more miserable and insecure, which attracts more unwanted from them, until you reach the point you want out.
You want something new. Something different. Why? Because that new, general thing feels better to think about than the current, specific stuff that’s begun to rot and feel like a drag on your freedom and fun. You don’t have as many practiced limiting beliefs about that new job, relationship or house. So if you could just get it, you would feel better. Because that general wanted must be better than this specific unwanted. But even if you get that general wanted, it will naturally morph into specific unwanted. Law of Attraction will make sure that happens.
The cycle just starts all over again, until you think this is how life is, when it doesn’t have to be. This isn’t how it is, it’s how you made it. You can change the cycle when you decide to stop basing your emotions on manifestations that will never sustainably satisfy you (which is all of them). It’s not a manifestation’s job to replenish you, it’s your connection to Source that is the only thing that’s sustainable.
The grass over there used to appear just as luscious and vibrant as the grass you’re standing on, but you’ve noticed it needs mowing, and watering, and one of the sprinklers needs replacing . . . and, and, and. But from far way, in that blissful, general state of lesser momentum, that grass over there looks perfect. You know barely anything about it, and that’s why it feels so wonderful. Because you’ve diluted your focus of the details that caused you to lose that honeymoon feeling. You think the new manifestation will bring the feeling, when your focus is the key to allowing or resisting that feeling, regardless of the manifestation you have.
People keep falling in love with their idolized version of the next manifestation. Because it’s general. Everything you visualize, regardless of how specific you are, at the end of the day is still generally focused. But when it manifests, you can see, hear, taste, smell and touch specifics that you aren’t a fan of. And if you base your emotions on conditions, you’ll feel bad because of these specifics. And if you keep focusing on them, you’ll build momentum to the point where you crave and yearn for the next manifestation to free you from this current manifestation of unhappiness you previously thought would fulfill you.
And so you just keep living life, waiting for the next thing you believe is way better than what you currently have. But what you currently have, before it was manifested, was once something you were waiting on as well. It’s not the manifestation that’s the issue. It’s your approach to manifesting that causes you to never feel good with where you are in relationship to where you want to be.
You initially love it > Start getting bored with it > Frustrated > Resentment it’s not like it used to be and wish it was better > Begin looking for other manifestations to get that loving feeling again.
That’s the cycle.
The honeymoon phase is an after-effect of people observing conditions and allowing their love and alignment to flow. But when they keep conditionally living, then eventually they will continue to notice unwanted and attract more of it until they come to the false conclusion that this manifestation wasn’t as cracked up as it used to be. And then on to the next! And the next. And the next. Never satisfied. Always looking for something else to fulfill their conditional gaze.
When a relationship is new, you don’t know much about the other person, and so you don’t expect much from them. Since it is very general, they’re much easier to love than someone you know a lot about and have a lot more expectations of them. As time goes on, your expectations increase of how you believe they should behave to keep you happy.
The honeymoon phase could always exist if you gave most of your attention to what you like and appreciate about the other person. It only deteriorates when you stop focusing on their positive aspects.
When you fine-tune your focus to give your attention to what you like about what you have, you begin to evoke more of it. You get more juice out of it. You get your money’s worth. As you deliberately look for reasons to be interested and engaged where you are, you resupply the infusion of that honeymoon euphoria into your everyday life. With unconditional alignment/satisfaction, you transform the honeymoon phase into a honeymoon life.
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I think these things reassert themselves after a while, because most people haven't cleared the deepest, fundamental patterns they have, which have brought them in. It's almost as if the manifestation temporarily glosses over the old patterns, but they show up after a while as a reminder that they need to be let go of and released. Most often, these are fears and negative expectations which have become so worn-in and subconscious that we aren't actually aware of them.
That is big Brian, thanks!
"It’s not a manifestation’s job to replenish you, it’s your connection to Source that is the only thing that’s sustainable." Exactly!!