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Hey everyone, here's a questions I have on my mind,

how do you guys feel about crying? Is it counterproductive? sometimes i just feel like crying and letting out emotions. I sometimes feel better afterwards. or cry myself to sleep.

is this such a bad thing?

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Nope - not a problem at all. If it feels good do it, I say.

I agree. If you can give it a good cry, do it. You're lucky I guess. It's a good way to release emotions.

I probably only cry two or three times a year at most and don't like doing it, but I allow myself to accept myself doing it in my middle age because it's a great way to release emotions. Sometimes I almost laugh afterwards, because it makes me feel so much better.

Hmmmmmm. Wild guess about why I've never cried much ... It stems from growing up with a lot of siblings and learning that growing up meant not crying anymore, or you'd get teased about it. With so many people in our house, it was pretty hard to do any secret crying either. :-)

I don't think there's a thing wrong with it and know it's healthy. Not crying can be hard on you, which is perhaps why women tend to live longer???
LOL! thanks, thats a good one!
I read the posts in the gorup. I am going to be trying the methods, thanks!
I think there is a view among the LoA community that feeling uncomfortable and painful emotions is something to avoid. It isn't at all. Grief and sadness are a part of our emotional spectrum and trying to avoid these feelings is counter productive. Living in them and never moving out of them are as well. Feel them, release them and move on. There is a chemical in tears that relaxes the body and nervous system and ignoring, repressing or denying them is not good practice. Honor your tears, your grief. Have the courage to accept them and then move on.
This is beautiful said. I agree that I've gotten the vibe at times from LoA folks that you can just instantly shift and get happy again. I'm not necessarily against this, but it misses the point. Suffering is a real piece of life - and it doesn't mean we should choose suffering or wallow in it. But we all have darkness to work through. The trick is to turn the suffering into laughter, similar to how you are saying about the chemical in tears that relaxes the body.

In the world of Imago, which very much believes in LoA, we attract partners to us based on our negative emotions and subconscious mindset. We are wired for this. It's up to us to create rituals of positivity, growth and healing with our partners.

michael sherman -www.courageouslovingnation.com
Hey Cynthia... the thing is that it doesn't matter what we think of crying... what matters is what YOU think of crying. For example, I believe that crying cleanses my soul... it feels so good... it's a release like no other. So, crying is a good thing for me and my body responds well to it. Now, if I believed that crying was bad or counterproductive, then that's exactly how it would be. You see, it's only good or bad based on your beliefs about it.

All love, Ziz :)
I think it's good. It helps me release the tension, and I always feel better afterwards.
It does feel good to release the build up and I think its normal :)
I'm so glad you wrote this. I think crying is outstanding. I love how you wrote that you cry yourself to sleep. I try to teach people that there is a cycle to our emotions - and it goes from anger, to fear, to sadness and then again to joy. and for many, they are afraid of their own sadness. bravo to you for doing what takes you through the cycle.
michael sherman -www.courageouslovingnation.com
Well said... I remember this story about the Dali Lama. He was listening to the people who were coming to him for help and when this one person told a horrible story of suffering the Dali Lama cried with them, sharing their grief. Then the next person came and told a story of incredible joy and humor. The Dali Lama then laughed along with the person.

The point being that he was living in the ever present moment. If tears are appropriate in one moment, laughter and joy may be right around the corner. It is honoring the full experience in the moment. I sometimes think, from what I hear from people, that we (self included) either attempt to escape a moment by pretending we are not feeling what we are feeling (inauthentic) or sitting way too long in an emotion because of what it gives us (usually a sense of power thru feeling like a victim). It is a tough balance to negotiate.
Crying is a fabulous release and sometimes it's exactly what the body, heart and soul needs. It can be a way of releasing the pent up emotions before they become trapped in the body.


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