Flowerpatch is a name I chose because I love flowers and it has served me well over the years because I haven't grown tired of it and actually still like it. Bit isn't Flowerpatch just an illusion really? Sure I have shared my deepest self with you on some levels but what about the times when I hold back? What am I hiding?
......Like not skyping with a friend because I don't look good enough or when friends come over and I start closing doors to certain rooms in the house because of the wretched mess? How about when I am moving towards "success" and then suddenly freeze when fear overtakes me~fear that I can't do it just perfectly? ( I have an 8 am meeting tomorrow and I have completely freaked myself out. I am perfectly capable and yet I am so afraid.) I KNOW this meeting is more than just a meeting. It is about me allowing me to be imperfect.
The truth is I AM NOT PERFECT. I can only do what I can do. I don't have all the answers! I want to do a good job and I may screw up. I am learning and will give it my best, but my best may not be good enough for you. But it has to be good enough for me.
Why is it so important that you love me?
And why do I feel like a fake because you do?
Damnit, I want your love. I deserve it. I am taking it. (Ok, David!!!)
Will you still love me tomorrow? I don't know. Will you leave? Maybe. All is well no matter what because love flows through me. I let go fo the fear. I am ME and I am FREE.
Just a word about "perfect" - wow - what IS that anyway!! I have a comment on the flipside - loving a "perfect" man. If you can bear with me - he was my best friend, trustworthy, accepting, handsome - but not too much that I would be jealous, a great job - but not so much that he would "wealth" me out of my comfort zone, smart, funny, loving, passionate - a great dad, he cleaned up the house, cooked, was responsible, listened to me, loved that I seemed "perfect" for him, blah blah blah...but it was all "fake". He was not in touch with himself - he had deeply held anger that built over time - his whole life. When he noticed after 20 years of knowing me (since a young teenager) that life happens - people die and get sick, bills get out of control, and you have to work at life and being human - KABOOM - yikes! Narcissitic a bit - and controlling :( -much more ugliness...
So trying or wishing to be perfect for "someone" hurts everyone - it is a lie to you, the universe, your purpose, - and it is very ugly! And wanting to be with the perfect person is worse - it is a myth and has an unattainability that is so evident.
A shorter petal on a daisy means it had to fight a bit harder to pop open - making it unique. A ripple on a still pond shows the excitement underneath - and grass stain on your son's pants means he played hard and fell - but got back up! So I hope to celebrate finding another imperfect person who knows themselves - and chooses to grow through life - not just "go" through life.
Man - that felt good to say - whooohooo!
I read this passage in a book called "Living Waters" , what I heard from it within was "Behold Thy God". And right there it confirmed what is always within .... that "my eyes(and I)" , ARE God's eyes. God lives through "me", as ME, God, Love IS ALL of Me and I All of God. We are One, not separate. All I could possibly behold is God, the perceived and perceiver.
Wholly Pure, Completely Innocent, Infinite Love . . . . How can describe that which is All and I that attempt to describe MySelf ? I Am "it" !!!!!! No separation exists anywhere.
So all the lamenting of daily conditions and circumstances, all the calculating of my pittance of life and how to make it a little less this and more that .... just doesn't make sense anymore. It would be like trying to figure out what I am going to eat while I am feasting ! Wondering how am I going to breathe, while I am fully breathing ! Wondering how am I going live, when I am Life itself ! Where is my well being, my health, all my stuff, going to come from .... when my being is all of "it" , "we" are One Whole, completely inseparable ! Get it ? !!!! One cannot be divided , added to or subtracted from. One is the perfect number, One is completely Infinite. Ahahahahaahaahahaha !!!!
So, "Will you Love Me" ? Of course, I am all of Me and You and All. Listen to yourself, within, there is no other voice but God's voice, no other presence but God, no other being but God. Now THIS is Love , indeed. God Loving the All of God, as All of I, Me and You.
Roses, I get it. I GET IT!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!
Tee hee hee ...... YaY Flowerpatch ! You "got" that you never "lost" .... anything ... that Your Existing is Perfections Existing ..... Your Existence is Perfections Existence .... that Your BEING is BEING's BEING !
Yippee Yi Yay ! what BEAUTY We Be .... what JOY .... what HARMONY ..... We are "the facts of LIFE " for We are LIFE's Living Factuality !
Precisely beautiful!! I love you!!
Roses rocking as always.....
Big smile over here!! Thats so true. Im feeling really good today. Taking care of myself. Its a new journey.
i don't know if you know this song, but i remembered it as i read the title of this thread, i think the music and the lyrics are incredibly sweet:
I had never heard that one! Its PERFECT! Thank you for sharing Dorothy!
You are very welcome