Hello,
I have recently joined the forum but have been aware of the Law of Attraction for several months now. Each day I seek to learn more information in order to achieve my dreams.
My main desire revolves around my body, which I've had many issues with for some time now. For several years, I have struggled with an eating disorder, and my health is not in an optimal place. Though I am considered underweight, I love the feeling of being thin, but being small at the expensive of my health, especially still being a teenager, and through restriction is not what I want. My average day of eating (I am vegan) is some fruit in the morning, a salad for lunch, fruit for snack, and a cooked meal for dinner. Though I never really finish anything I eat and fight daily with my parents over what I'm eating. Some part of me still believes that food contributes to weight gain, though by the LoA, and more specifically Rhonda Byrne, it's the thoughts/beliefs that matter.
So when coming across LoA and reading stories (on here and The Secret website) of people who were able to eat whatever they wanted without working out and attain their desired bodies, as well as changing other features of their appearance, I was astounded and it gave me great hope. I've hurt so many people and practically broke my family apart, but I still can't seem to let go despite learning that changing your physical appearance is possible.
What I exactly want in terms of my appearance are the following:
- A skinny, model-like body being able to eat whatever I want (no matter if it's considered "healthy" or not, I will remain in the body that I desire) and no exercise
- I don't have a set number but rather a shape/frame, and it is rather small by some standards but it's what I want for myself
- A height of at least 5'10" (I am currently 5'7")
- Clear, fair/porcelain skin
- Light blue, beautiful eyes (Currently brown)
- Fuller lips
- Smaller/shorter face
- Lighter/blonder, stronger and longer hair (Currently brown)
- An overall more beautiful appearance
I want to transform, to become almost like a completely different person, be "reborn" in a sense. I want to have the body I've been dreaming of and have more love and confidence for myself, which in turn will mean more love for others. I want to restore my health (I've lost my period and my hair falls out all the time at this point), desire a career in acting and want my family to become close again.
I've been collecting stories upon stories of people who have achieved such things, but for some reason I can't apply it firmly to myself. When I think about eating a meal I usually avoid because I think it will make me "fat," I cower. Whenever I try to think my height is growing or my face is changing, I get confronted by thoughts of disbelief and become disappointed when I pass by a mirror (which I've been trying to avoid looking into).
Although I know it's wrong, I can't help but feel desperate. I'm so tired of restricting and being rude to myself and others. I want to look the way I've always dreamed of because I know I will have that happiness I've been longing for. I want to be like the successful people who eat freely and don't gain any weight. All I ask for is some guidance, I don't personally know anyone who knows of the LoA and my parents don't really believe in it either. I've been yearning to talk to someone who has been successful but also to connect with other to figure out what I should do.
I've done meditation, visualizing, a vision board, affirmation list, acting as if, trying to stay positive, but I guess my belief isn't there. I want it so bad. And in a way, because of my poor health, I feel like I'm running out of time and each day comes with fear and disappointment. Fear of having to eat something I don't want to, disappointment when I give in to restriction and see the same body I don't want to see.
I don't mean to spread any negativity, I have faith, I always do, but I need some help and would greatly appreciate it from anyone.
Thank you all,
Rose
Replies
I'm by no means close to the "ideal" but I can definitely share my success with my weight. I struggled with body image issues growing up - though I was never overweight, I felt I was. I was bulimic, did crash diets, starved myself, and hated my body (all that fun stuff). At some point, I was below 100 pounds at 5'5 and lost a lot of my hair. I really, really hated my body. No matter how hard I tried to restrict my diet through will power, it never seems to last and I'm back to binge eating and starving myself again.
Now, I'm around 110 pounds with a slim waist, flat stomach, etc and I eat whatever I want. My body is not perfect but I'm still super happy with it, and love it for what it does for me. My cravings for "unhealthy" foods is 15% of what it used to be, and they are NOWHERE near as intense. Before, junk food was pretty much an addiction to me.
What I did was stopped trying to control my body and focused instead on appreciating how hard it was working for me, how much it does for me. Think about that for a second. Everything it does is to keep me alive, and I repay my body by starving it? For what? To impress people who don't care about me? To try and look like someone I'd never look like and I don't really want to anyway? It struck me now how ungrateful this mindset was that I wouldn't even dream of depriving myself again. Shower your body with love, positivity, understanding, and appreciation. Ask your body to change with loving kindness, don't make demands with resentment. Ask your body to change for you, and you only.
You need to have more love and confidence for yourself now, and then watch your body change in response - not the other way around. Chances are, you don't even think you deserve having your dream body right now, and that's why your belief feels empty, and that you can't seem to apply it firmly to yourself. Be selfish and grow your love for yourself. If you are out, and you look at the mirror and see how big your thighs look - instead of being self-conscious and feeling shamed, and thinking how everyone thinks you're fat - think so f*cking what? Think, it's not my body's job to impress you, and these thighs let me walk and run. Hold your head up high and let everybody see all your insecurities. It's only when you accept yourself with love that your body will change.
Hello Sal,
Thank you for the response. I agree, I think letting go is the best option, and in fact, a few days ago I actually began to forget about my desires of body, height, etc and was avoiding the mirror as much as I could. But once I came to this realization, I got scared that either I wasn't doing enough to make it happen or that I would just forget about it and nothing would happen, so I would just end up looking the same.
I believe I'm capable, but for some reason letting go seems like getting no where in my mind. I'm not sure if I should go with it or there's something else I should be doing.
Thank you.
Avoiding mirrors would indicate fear, I think. Perhaps I'm wrong! I used to avoid mirrors too. Now I'm just working at attaining peace no matter what I see in the mirror. I think the way LOA works is when you reach a level of contentment with yourself and your life, you send a signal to the Universe to attract more things that give you contentment. The "desire" doesn't go away, but attachment does. Imagine you physically had the model type body you desire and that it required no effort to maintain on your part...it would be "normal" to you. You'd be happy you had it and that's it. A very light intention is all that's needed
I've found that letting go isn't a technique. It's a complete change in how you approach manifesting. I was scared that working on letting go meant that I wouldn't ever get what I want. Not true! You do get what you want, absolutely. But before you do, you have to let go of attachment. Everything I ever manifested came from a place of non-attachment
These articles will help explain further
https://learnlettinggo.com/2013/08/21/how-to-be-do-or-have-anything/
https://learnlettinggo.com/how-to-let-go/
Thank you for the message and links Sal,
I remember reading that if you already had what you want, you wouldn't necessarily feel excited because it's already yours and, as you said, "normal." So I suppose visualizing and feeling excitement about the body that I want is only pushing it away?
If I catch myself visualizing that in the present moment I look the way I want to, is that the wrong way to go about it? Should I not be thinking about the "ideal me" at all? Or when I do, there shouldn't be any feeling along with it? And what should I do when I look in the mirror and not see a reflection I typically desire?
I also tend to look for people who resemble the way I want to look, such as looking up models, watching runway compilations and collecting the features I desire. Should I not be doing this either, because it entails more "searching" rather than "having?"
Thank you for your words again, I just want to be sure I get a clear understanding.
If you want my advice, I would say none of those techniques and methods will help you get what you want in this case. Not all intentions are identical for the person making them. If you're like me, a physical appearance change is probably one of the most, if not *the most* important thing to you. Like, you really really want it badly. And it also happens to be one of those things deemed "impossible" by mainstream society. So you have both extreme attachment and likely a lack of true complete faith (explained further below)...therefore you're gonna have to forget the "traditional" methods of LOA like visualization, affirmations, etc.
Here's what I recommend: Get clear on what you want, which it appears you've written down already. If there are other things, write them down as well. That should be the final time you look at runway model compilations unless you want to revisit the intention again to modify it. The Universe is infinitely intelligent - it won't "forget" any part of your intention. Write it down on a piece of paper too, fold it up and tuck it somewhere. Now...here's the hard part. Your *only* tasks right now are
1. Let go of attachment to that desire
Just as the article stated, if you catch yourself daydreaming about your ideal image, stop and let go of the daydream and the feeling of desire. No matter where you are or what you're doing. Keep doing this every single time using the Letting Go process in the article. You also do the process for any negative emotion beyond desire, like fear, anger, frustration, etc. In my opinion, it also helps to practice mindfulness meditation because you'll train your brain to ignore thoughts.
One of the thoughts that come up might be "how the hell does it make sense that I lose the desire in order to manifest it? That's unfair." or something to that effect. That's one of the thoughts you should clear your mind of. You do that by observing it neutrally - aka meditation. The Universe doesn't make sense to our human selves, we just have to do what we have to do. Btw, you're not really letting go of the desire itself, just attachment to it. But for all purposes, treat it like you're letting go of the desire.
2. Practice self-love: Meditate on the feeling of loving energy. Send it to yourself, and others. If you've ever heard the phrase "Love is letting go of fear." - that's basically it. Attachment is ultimately a fear that you won't really have what you want, and often it's subconscious so you won't notice it. When you love yourself completely and unconditionally, you clear up a lot of fear and you begin to manifest powerfully into your life all the things you've ever desired. But it should be supplemented with letting go of your desires as well. Weird, but it's how it is.
Some people try to build their faith in various ways, but in my personal opinion that doesn't work for physical appearance change intentions made by someone who has tried and tried and failed to achieve their desired appearance. Most people don't have that level of faith, at least in their ability. Even if you think it's possible, faith is a much more powerful state of mind. You may have faith in some things, but likely not using LOA to change physical appearance. But still, you have enough belief in the concept to make the intention in the first place, which is amazing. And that's all you really need to work with. So then, the only thing that's left for you to do is let go of attachment using the above steps. Commit to it for at least a couple months. You'll probably notice things happening even before then but keep pushing forward.
If there's anything else you want to manifest besides physical change, you might as well use the process above for it as well. Feel free to message me also btw
Thank you Sal,
So if I understood correctly, I should technically avoid visualization. And if I ever do think about looking the way I want to, rather than having feelings of excitement, I should be feeling more so at peace, because if I had the body I want already, it would just be "normal."
I suppose it's just an odd feeling because I feel like when I let go, it's "forgotten" or I'm not doing enough to make it happen, but I've been trying to do different methods for several months and I still look the same. And yes, it feels like the most important thing to me, thus I want it very bad.
And when it comes to self-love, I just find it a bit contradictory to "praise" my features now when I'm supposed to be acting as if I look the way I want to. How do you go about this?
So to summarize, don't think about the desire, because I already have it, so if any feelings should be associated with it, it's neutral. I should think 5'10" when I see otherwise, I should think blue eyes when I see otherwise?
I was also curious to know what changes you have been successful making.
Thank you again.
In my humble opinion, yes you should avoid visualization for the most part. Let me explain why. First of all, from my experience everything that I've ever manifested never came from visualization. Visualization, like any LOA tool, ultimately is meant to make you feel good or get into a higher vibration. The visualization itself doesn't "give" you your desired change. Now for some people their mind interprets the act of visualizing as an action bringing about a result (appearance change), so that's what happens for them. But those people often have very little resistance and a lot of faith as well.
In your case (and my case as well), we have a ton of of attachment to our appearance changing. I also want it badly to the point where there's nothing else I feel matters unless I have my desired appearance - which happens to be very different than what I currently look. So as counter-intuitive as it may seem, you need to let go of that attachment. Anything that makes you desire or long for your ideal physical appearance, you should avoid it. When you feel that pang of wanting or longing for being 5'10" or being skinny or beautiful or whatever, you need to let go of that feeling which is described in the article. It isn't easy at first. It feels very difficult actually, but it's the only way. The more you want it, the more you attract wanting it.
As far as self-love, I wasn't clear entirely. You don't need to praise your features or anything like that. After all, you ultimately aren't your body even though it plays a huge role in shaping who you are. You need to make peace with your current body though. As it's said "What you resist, persists.". If you're resisting your current body and face, they persist. You might look at yourself in the mirror and think "there's no way I'll be able to not hate what I see in the mirror" but let go of that thought as well. But do send loving energy towards your "soul" or whatever you believe occupies your body. That's who you really are. It might feel silly but it gets easier.
You just gotta commit to this process. Take the first step and it gets easier. There isn't a magic solution that you do and it brings you your results. Well actually, this is considered a form of magic to some, but what I mean is that it isn't like *poof*! and you get your results. In the past, that's all I wanted to find. A spell or method or whatever, and it just isn't out there. Also I don't think you should try to force your mind to see blue eyes or being 5'10". In my opinion you'll create more attachment that way, plus being frustrated. Like I said, the Universe doesn't "forget" any part of what you want. Simply decide on what you want, write it down somewhere and let go of it after that. You can also collect and save pictures of the features you want and decide on them. I already did that and dedicated a folder to those pictures but I don't look at them anymore because the only thing to focus on after that is letting go of attachment.
As far as my changes...one thing that bothers me is my idiopathic hirsutism (excess body hair for a female) and it's progressively fading away and getting finer and lighter, especially on my legs where I don't look as often. But for proof I'm taking photos of my hands because I want them to be more slender and feminine structurally, and there's no surgery for that. I currently have man-hands so the difference would be very noticeable. Anyways, the whole process I described I've used for various health related issues and it works amazing. But, I don't have nearly as much resistance towards my health (having always been fairly healthy which I'm grateful for), so it's easy to apply LOA towards it. Keep in mind, the more negative conditioning/resistance you have towards something, the more "difficult" you will find it to apply the letting go process I've mentioned. At some point though, you have a "break through" and you're subconscious has emptied out all of the resistance. It will feel like you have an infinite well of attachment to your desire at first but you have to keep on letting go.
A small but important note: If you're a Maladaptive Daydreamer, as in if you fantasize about having your ideal appearance or anything else, that ties in really closely with being attached to your desire. You have to start letting go of your daydreams. I'm not sure if it applies to you though, but I've read a lot of stories similar to mine and seems like it has a very negative effect on LOA effectiveness.
This is what I'm doing and you're free to follow it or modify it to your taste:
1. Ignoring my thoughts throughout the day/practicing mindfulness (according to a method I read from a book called Thoughtless Magic and Manifestations by Richard Dotts)
2. Letting go of any negative emotion when it comes up, including the feeling of desire (attachment). This is mentioned in detail in one of the links I shared.
3. Letting go of daydreams, since I'm a Maladaptive Daydream and all my fantasizing tends to revolve around having my desired appearance. Then I identify the feeling the brought up the daydream, and apply step no. 2
4. Practice self-love just by trying to love myself whenever I can. It's a bit tricky at first when you're trying to identify the feeling of love and sending it to yourself, but you get the hang of it. I know I have a lot of work to do though.
5. Daily mindful meditation and metta meditation. One is about observing your thoughts neutrally and letting them go and the other is about feeling love and kindness for yourself and others.
Mindful meditation matches up with step no. 1 and metta meditation matches with step no. 4, so when you practice the meditations and those steps together, it amplifies the ease and effectiveness of them in both directions!
I hope this helps!
Pretty much anything is possible with LOA, that's not the issue (including having the exact frame or weight you want while being healthy). However, the more resistance and attachment you have to a desire, the more difficult it is for you to manifest it. Letting go is the key to making the LOA work. However, it's not easy. Especially "impossible" tasks like changing supposedly permanent features of your body through the mind because you cannot go out and attain proof and put your mind at ease. Physical changes like what you desire are indeed absolutely possible but they require a lot of inner work. That's what I'm currently working on. In the mean time, it would be beneficial for you to tend to your health and eat what you need to thrive according to your current belief system.
I also want a very small frame without sacrificing my health, but I want to be shorter. I also want lighter features in general, so we're sort of working towards similar goals.
Hello Peach,
I greatly appreciate your reply and completely understand your words. I'm certainly not trying to disregard the importance of my health, because I too want that back so badly, but can I still achieve my desired body too? The idea of being able to eat what I want while staying thing just makes me so emotional because I've believed so strongly that that's impossible. If it is, if I can shape my body with sacrificing my health, it would not only mean getting my life back but getting the one I've always dreamed of. I mean I just recently read a story of someone who only ate "unhealthy" food and dropped tons of weight (not that I'm looking to do that necessarily but it's the whole idea of that bring possible).
I've been to professional help before and loathed the experience. They're focused on bringing the weight up where as I don't want to do that, but eat abundantly whilst looking the way I want to and heaving good health. I don't even know what those people would think if I brought up LoA.
I've been trying to add a little more, and in ways I have. But I come into it with a rather negative attitude, like a part of me believes it's possible whilst another thinks it's not, and I know no success will come if I don't truly believe it without a doubt like the others have. I've come a long way to get to where I am, but it's not enough I know. I just want to look completely different and be completely different. Happy, healthy and physically what I make of myself.
Did LoA help you overcome your battle?
Thank you again.
Also, it has helped me yes. I'm not completely done, though. I still fight with stress that makes me question everything some days. But every day I look at the good that's come my way and I keep trying. And things gradually get better.
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