The Feelings Method (TFM) Explained Part 3

Now that I have explained what TFM is meant to do- to help us release negative feelings, to focus on ourselves, to prioritize our feelings & build self love (part one) & I've explained the difference between THOUGHTS and FEELINGS (part 2) - we can move on to actually learning how to apply The Feelings Method.If you haven't read part 1 & part 2, I strongly suggest you do so before reading any further.HOW TO APPLY TFM.All we have to do in order to apply the feelings method is, to write out our feelings.We write out:What we are CURRENTLY feeling.What we DONT want to feel like.And what we DO want to feel like.Then we GO on about ourselves, we go and do something that feels GOOD, ENJOYABLE, RELAXING, FUN - whatever makes you feel like you're taking care of yourself. It doesn't matter what it is.TFM 5 GUIDELINES/RULES1)We will be writing out multiple sentences but we should keep each sentence as short as possible.2)We're allowed to write as many sentences as we need but we're ONLY allowed to begin each sentence with the words :I feel___________I feel like__________I dont want to feel__________I dont like feeling____________I want to feel_______________There are NO EXCEPTIONS. The focus is on YOU and your FEELINGS. Writing in this way ensures that you are keeping the focus on yourself- not others & it keeps the focus on your feelings - not your thoughts.3) The word "BECAUSE" should NEVER be used. If you are using the word "BECAUSE" - you are focuing on "thoughts" not feelings & you are using the word to explain or defend your feelings. This is incorrect.Incorrect:I am sad because my boyfriend has been ignoring me.Correct:I feel sad.I feel like my boyfriend has been ignoring me.4) Keep writing out your feelings until you feel like you've written them ALL out. Be authentic with your feelings, be HONEST - don't try to write the "right thing" or what sounds good. All feelings are valid.5)Go do something that makes you feel good afterwards. Take a hot shower, treat yourself to your favorite meal, watch a good movie, go for a walk, hang out with a friend, etc. Whatever you like to do, it doesn't matter. Just do something that feels like you are taking care of yourself & treating yourself with LOVE. <-- VERY IMPORTANT! Do not ignore/neglect this step.WHY TFM WORKS:When we are first writing our feelings, the first sentence we write will usually be SURFACE level, the obvious feeling. As we continue writing, DEEPER less obvious feelings come up. Things we didn't even realize we were feeling. TFM helps us to recognize and to understand our true feelings.Once all of our feelings are written out infront of us - we SHIFT our focus from our "negative" or unwanted feelings, to positive feelings. We shift our focus from what we DON'T want to feel onto what we DO want to feel. Sometimes we're not even sure about how we want to feel besides "good, happy, positive", we only have a VAGUE idea about how we want to feel. TFM helps us identify how we want to feel SPECIFICALLY.Then we LEAVE it alone. We go off and take care of ourselves, we have fun, relax, enjoy ourselves. You'd ask yourself, what would I like to do? What would feel self loving? Are you hungry - go feed yourself delicious food. Are you tired - go take a nap. Are you bored - go find a friend or go outside...whatever TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. This is self love.Sitting alone to dwell in our feelings is NOT self love. You SHOULD tend to your feelings. You SHOULD allow yourself to feel those feelings. But we should NOT dwell in them. After we've addressed the feelings at hand, we've expressed them, we've felt them - we have to let it go & tend to our OTHER needs. This brings LOVE and positive energy to us.The more you take care of yourself, prioritize your feelings & focus on yourself - the better you will feel about yourself. Your confidence level & standards of treatment for yourself will RISE. Your general attitude about yourself, your general image of yourself, your general level of self love will gradually improve, in a permanent & authentic way.We do not have to do anything specific to "FIX" our "specific problems", we only need to deal with the feelings that CAUSES/ATTRACTS those unwanted expierences in our lives. TFM helps us to do this.IMPORTANT: One round of TFM will not erase all your problems. If you are feeling sad about a certain topic, it is likely that those feelings will continue or will resurface. But if you keep working with TFM, the intensity level of those feelings will lessen every time as your self love level INCREASES.RECAPTo apply The Feelings Method we write out what we are CURRENTLY feeling, what we DONT WANT/DONT LIKE feeling and what we DO want to feel like.We begin each sentence with either: I feel, I feel like, I dont want to feel, I dont like feeling or I want to feel.We never use the word BECAUSE. We never attempt to explain or defend our feelings. We only write them out.Example:I feel sad.I feel like my boyfriend has been ignoring me.I feel like he's losing interest in me.I feel like I'm not important to him.I feel like I love him so much.I feel afraid to lose him.I dont like feeling this way.I don't want to feel this way.I want to feel like my bf is interested in me.I want to feel like my bf is attracted to me.I want to feel like I am loved & cherished.I want to feel like I am important.I want to feel like I'm in a happy relationship.I want to feel happy.Then we would go off and take care of ourselves. We would not sit around and think more about our BF and how poorly he is treating us. We wouldnt wait for him to show us love & attention - we go off and show OURSELVES love and attention. We turn our focus towards OURSELVES not to others, not to our "problems". Our focus should be on OURSELVES always.Work with TFM to help you build self love & to release negative feelings. Doing so will increase your ability to manifest positive/desired outcomes more quickly & more successfully.

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  • When you work with TFM you would state your current feelings....ALL OF THEM. The simple act of accepting your feelings as they are, helps to release those feelings.

    For example, have you ever gotten into an argument with someone you love because they did something to hurt you? And you go back and fourth trying to prove your points to each other? What is the true goal of your argument? The true goal is to get the other person to ADMIT their wrong doings and to apologize (show that they care about you.) Am I right?

    Yet the other person, more often than not, wants to defend themselves - they don't want to admit what they've done or they JUSTIFY their actions. Somehow, they think that the more they deflect the situation, the more they don't own up to their wrong-doings, the better off they'll be. But instead of making things better, their deflection of the truth just makes the argument even WORSE. Things become more heated and intense because of this. Am I right?

    But as soon as the other person just lets go and admits their mistake, "yes I did do that to you, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." What happens??? The simple act of ADMISSION breaks the tension between the two people. Doesn't it?? Things start to become better only AFTER they admit the truth.

    It works the same way with OURSELVES.

    What we want to have and what we want to feel are in conflict with our current situation and our current feelings. We are using The Feelings Method as an act of admission to ourselves, to help ease the tension and to bridge the gap between where we currently are and where we want to be.

    Hopefully this clarifies a little more for you. Let me know.

  • What are you doing to release your negative feelings?? You'd have to give me more details about what you are doing in order for me to answer your question. Message me if you want to.

  • Thanks, but I still don't understand part one. What do you mean specifically by accepting and ridding yourself of the doubts? Can you please sum up the process, doubts seem to be biggest thorn in my side since I got into manifestation it be very helpful to know how to be indifferent towards them and finally remove that resistance

  • How do we feel through the "negative" emotions? I can't tell if I'm just dwelling on them or if I am releasing them. It feels like when I try and let myself feel the "negative" emotions that they just stick and don't feel resolved.
  • Im so happy for you Maya!!!
  • Its because it helps you focus and get out the less obvious feelings you are going through - the deeper, more specific emotions. And yes its good to focus on your feelings about different topics separately - but remember its not your thoughts, we work with our feelings not with our thoughts.
  • So I wanted to share my experience with this method:

    I started about a week ago and I've already seen massive changes. My main accomplishment is from the like "I want to feel like looking at pictures of my desires will help them come to me faster" or something along those lines. Then I would look at pictures of what I wanted and even just within this week I've lost an inch around my waist and gained an inch around my hips (I wanted to fill out in my hips a bit) I've also filled out my bras better in this week and my hair has become a bit curlier. It looks amazing. this method is AMAZING! I love it so so much. I've been trying to accomplish these few things fro over a year and I got them in a week using this method. Thank you so so so much!!

  • That sounds like a great idea. Hmm...

  • In situations like those where you're really feeling negatively, yes its defiantly ok to rush through TFM in your head and then as soon as you have a chance to do something for yourself, you should do it ASAP. Go for a bathroom break and spash water on your face, get a drink of water or cup of coffee, have a snack, go for a quick break, an early break, go for lunch at your favorite spot, listen to a good song - anything. Just do it.

    When you get home, you should definitely practice TFM thoroughly about your feelings on work etc. You shouldn't make it a habit to only do TFM in your head & please take some proper time for yourself more often. Maybe doing something for yourself in the mornings before work would help you feel less stressed throughout the day. Or perserve some special you-time after work, or before bed. Whatever feels best for you.
  • Ahh, it sounds like you really understand the purpose c:
    If I get a lot of similar questions I will follow up with part 4. Thank you Eli.
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