Hey everyone. I just lost the love of my life who was also my best friend for multiple reasons. I want to mend the relation. if anyone knows how to, I would greatly appreciate it. here's what happened...

he is my best friend since 2010 and i have loved him ever since. I am gay, btw. we stay in different cities and he is in his final school year and has very strict parents (like the dursley's were to harry potter) and right now we can barely talk, that too on sms. we only talk on like sundays for a few minutes. this may he came to visit me in my city where I stay alone and we were so happy together. we even got physical... almost everyday. he said he loved me and will always love me.

then he got back to his home, a very orthodox town and i got insecure and i started fighting with him daily. i got in a very negative phase. a month after his return he told me he no longer loves me romantically. he said that it happened 2-3 weeks after he got back and he loves me as a friend but nothing more. he even said he was straight (after doing it around 20 times with me.) when i press him on the subject he says he never loved me and only did and said all those things to make me happy.

I can bet my life on the fact that he did indeed love me. i could see it in his eyes and they way he was with me. so i don't know what happened but I have three reasons... a combination of which, I feel is the real reason.

1. he is scared or in denial of his sexuality. it is still not acceptable here to be bisexual.

2. he once loved a girl. they never got to date as, just when they first kissed, a few days later she died. he still loves her. and whenever he tries to move on, he feels like it's cheating on her. he says he doesn't want any other relationship or love in his life. he was 12 when she dies and is 19 now.

3. i kept fighting for no reasons and he hated it. 

he says he still wants to be with me... live with me forever but just as friends.

I want to help him get over his fears, move on and want to bring him back with my positivity. please help. I am really miserable by what happened.

thank you.

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  • someone just posted on success stories hope it helps.

    Hi there, PI Family!

    Firstly, allow me to express my sincerest gratitude to all of you here on these forums.  Your comments, threads, posts and insights helped me to understand the power that I have to create my life and specifically how to get my ex back.  So many of you have been a part of my journey (and you probably don't even know it!) so I just want to express my many thanks to all of you here on Powerful Intentions - I'm so happy I've found a home here and such welcoming friends :)

    As of tonight, my love and I are reunited in the relationship of our dreams!  We are back together and both so happy!  

    I am here to tell you that, whether you are here to attract back a past love, a sum of money, or whatever else, the Law of Attraction will ALWAYS deliver.  Always.  I never doubted the LOA but at the beginning I wondered, with honest fascination, whether it would work for me. I can tell you that if I can do it, anyone can do it.  Understand that the work has to come from within you first, though - you must understand that you are a powerful creator and you can exercise influence over your life.  You have control and your control lies in your thoughts, actions and words.  This can be a blessing, but also a curse. So be sure to wield this power wisely!

    How I Got My Love Back

    My love and I broke up around the beginning of June of this year.  We were in a toxic relationship (no physical abuse, but a lot of emotional turmoil caused by my negativity and lack of confidence and insecurity). BUT even when I made the decision to end our relationship and even as we were going through the process, I was convinced that we were, without a doubt, going to reunite again in a new relationship.  I believed it with out a doubt.  I had faith: and looking back on it, this is one of - if not the most important part - of the entire process.  Even as I was moving my stuff out of his apartment (We lived together), I thought to myself "This is my home. This is a temporary move. And I will be back with my love before I know it!"

    PHASES OF USING LOA TO GET YOUR LOVE BACK: 

    PHASE 1: UNDERSTANDING IT'S YOU

    Understand that it is your thoughts and actions that tear the relationship down.  You must understand that everything FIRST stems from you!  Your thoughts, actions, words, visualizations, imagined images that you hold in your head, dreams; all of this, as you're thinking about it, is coming into your life.  So no matter whether you want money, your ex, a new relationship, etc; whatever you want is going to come from the energy/vibe YOU send out first. So make sure that you're on the right vibration level to receive!  This can only happen when you come to the realization that you are the only thing standing in your way.  For instance, with me, I blamed A LOT Of things on my ex - I blamed our relationship ending on the fact that he worked too much, didn't make enough time for me, etc. After understanding the concept of 'everything stems from you' I started to understand that my attitude and negative thoughts caused me to act negatively towards him...which led him to spend less and less time with me...which caused me to notice and obsessively think about how little time he was spending with me...and these thoughts became the vibe, which the Universe picked up and quickly delivered more of.  Do you see how it's a cycle?  And do you see how it all stems from you?  So no matter what mistakes you have made, start now, this very moment, by taking a deep breath and saying "I know that I caused myself to be in this situation and now I am going to fix it.  In the past, I may have been my problem, but today and moving forward into the future, I am going to be my solution.  And I forgive myself for getting myself into this negative situation."  Forgive yourself - this is a really important step, too, even just for your mental clarity.  Trust me!

    PHASE 2: MAKING YOURSELF HAPPY

    I probably worked on forgiving myself (the step above) for about 2 - 3 weeks. I let myself cry, grieve the relationship and get it out of my system. I forgave myself and re-affirmed that i was a good person and a great girlfriend and just because I had let my negativity and thoughts spiral out of control, didn't mean that I was a bad person or that I was incapable of changing my future or that I was incapable of being in a loving, committed relationship.  

    I knew that I deserved happiness. I knew that I deserved a great relationship. And I knew that I deserved to get my love back (he's a great guy!).  I believed I deserved him and I deserved a great relationship with him - and again - kept that trust that it would happen firmly planted in my gut. Unwavering faith, baby - that's what it's all about!

    The next few weeks were dedicated to making myself happy.  If you are trying to attract love, you're not going to do it by being desperate or thinking about how your'e lacking in love.  There are many old threads on here that talk about this, but it is 100% true.  When you focus on your lack and desperation, you are attracting more lack and desperation.  So instead, I focused on all of the love that was around me.  For instance, after I moved out of my love's apartment, my mom opened me back into her house with open arms, along with her boyfriend and my younger sisters --- I suddenly realized, "How could I feel so unloved, when I have all this love at home?!"  I started seeing love ALL around me and being grateful for it.  Love from my family, from my best friends, coworkers, random people opening doors for me- I started recognizing it all as love.  And I started giving love as well: pitching in more around the house out of love to help my mom, tipping the coffee barista extra, buying my best friend's favorite flowers.  Sure, I had lost the love of my boyfriend, but when I changed my perspective, I realized that I was surrounded in love - more so than ever before! And it felt wonderful! I basked in this love and it felt so good!

    Then I started working on loving myself - I broke up with my love becuase he couldn't provide me the happiness I needed...and thank goodnes!!! Because in this process I learned that we should NEVER count on others to provide our own happiness - we need to rely on ourselves to do this.  And so, with him gone, I started to focus on what really brought my happiness.  And I decided to just fill my life with these things as much as possible.  Whatever served me and brought me happiness, peace, positivity and serenity and calm during my day, I did.  Running and working out brought me peace. So I did that - sometimes 2 or 3 runs a day (which sounds crazy...IF you don't like working out or running --- but if it brings me peace and happiness, why would I not want to do it 3 times a day?!).  Coffee brought me peace and happiness!  So I treated myself to an iced coffee each morning at the coffee shop.  I couldn't listen to love songs on the radio without being reminded of my love --- you know what songs made me the most happy? Christmas music - it puts you in SUCH a great mood and I love the holidays! So I made a special Christmas station on Pandora and streamed it, literally from the time I woke up in the morning to the time I went to sleep at night.

    I also started keeping a daily gratitude journal at night.  I would write down every single thing I was grateful for - some of my entries are 1 page long, others are 6! But as long as I wrote down and was able to see all of the many miracles, blessings and manifestations in my life, I was able to be much more positive and it put me in a happier state of mind overall!  This also allowed me to write down my intentions, as well, which I believe was a major part of my love returning to me.  I wrote each and every night "Thank you that _____ loves me.  Thank you that ______ is surrounded in love for me.  Thank you that _____ and I are in the committed romantic relationship of our dreams that brings us both complete happiness and 100% fulfillment! Thank you, Universe!".  I thanked and wrote as if it was currently happening...becuase I knew it was - the Universe was aligning things behind the scenes and even if I didn't see it in front of my eyes, I trusted the Universe to align things and bring it to me.

    Staying here and reading old threads made me happy. So I did that daily. Buying new notebooks to journal in made me happy. So I did that! Photography made me happy. So I made time to go out and shoot as much as possible.

    Everything that made me the tiniest bit happy, I did.  It it didn't make me happy, I didn't do it. There were some days where I didn't want to work out - I wanted to stay in and watch Netflix.  Guess what I did?  You got it.  Do the things that serve you and make you happy: your goal is to fill your days up with so much happiness because of the things YOU want to do, that if people who you normally rely on for your happiness were to disappear from your life, it'd be okay because you are creating your own happiness.  If you love to paint, paint.  If you love to sing, sign up for singing lessons.  Whatever it is, find the thing that makes you the happiest and just do it and focus on that (the bonus of this is that it also takes your mind off of your ex - when you think about how much you want your ex back, youre putting out that desparation vibe again...if you can't think of your ex without desparately wishing for him or her back, this thought is NOT serving you.  You need to focus on something else to get on a happy vibe until you can think about your ex and not feel so desparate.  When I was at this point, I moved onto Phase 3).  

    PHASE 3: Letting Go Of the Outcome

    Because I have read A LOT of the forums here, I know that so many of us have trouble with letting go of the outcome.  I learned that you can only do this when you're ready - when you can think about your past love and not harbor any desperation or negative feelings; when you can think about them and not feel any negativity; at least that's the way I knew I was ready for this step.  Letting go of the outcome is really difficult becuase we all worry that if we let go, the Universe won't know our desires.  I was worried about this, too.  But the phrase 'letting go of the outcome' should be retitled to 'place your trust in the Universe'.  Take a deep breath and realize that right now, the only thing you can do is trust the Universe (or God, your Higher Power, etc.) to deliver your desire.  I mean, are you really going to text your ex for the 45th time to beg them to get back together with you?  Take a deep breath and realize that you are strong enough to let go of the outcome (I promise you, life is much more fun when you sit back and let the Universe take care of things for you!).  Just sit back and relax into your life!  Realize that you are not going to DIE if this person does not come back, nor will you be destined for a life forever alone!  Trust the Universe that it has heard your desire and know that it is already done - trust that things are already being aligned behind the scenes that will allow your desire to manifest.  So just take a deep breath, relax, focus on the end result (for me, it wasn't about getting my love back, but I did picture photos from our future wedding album in my head!) and letting the Universe take care of the 'whys' and 'hows'.  We don't handle that part anyway, so why get all stressed about it?  You just have to trust - it's difficult, but once you learn to let go and trust, you'll be surprised at how easy all of these blessings start to flow to you!!!!!!

    PHASE 4

    You need only ask once.  After that, just give thanks to the Universe that it has already happened.

    "Dear Universe, thank you that ______ my love and I are in the committed romantic relationship of our dreams that brings us both complete happiness and 100% fulfillment!"

    Drown out any negativity: if you have a little voice that pops up into your head, make your voice louder and shout back to it the above affirmation until you believe it.  

    Then Patience as the Universe moves things around to bring your desire to you. Now, this period shouldn't feel like waiting, because waiting is desperation.  And what does desperation do?  That's right - it's a negative vibe and it brings your desire AWAY from you!  So we want to elminate any feelings of desperation.  How do you do that?  By filling your life with activities and things you love doing.  Step 2 above - You HAVE to keep yourself constantly happy, engaged and filled with positivity.  Even if you're sitting alone watching TV, find something to be grateful for: the energy to watch TV, the roof over your head, the rain streaming outside your window watering your flowers.  Put a smile on your face, take a deep breath and just love being in the moment with yourself.  That's it!  But even better if you can get up and do that one or two things you absolutely love that we were talking about before.  Know that your desire is on it's way and the happier you get, the better vibe you send out and the more available you are to receiving your desire!

    Just trust that what you are seeking, is seeking you, so you don't have to chase it.  Know that your love wants you and they are coming after you as you think, speak and visaulize it!

    A few more notes:

    • It will never happen the exact way you expect it to happen - trust me. I wish I had known this.  You can have a specific visualization picked out about how you two will get back together but it will most likely never actually play out this way. That's why detatchment is so important - if you send that very specific play-by-play to the Universe, it's going to take longer to deliver it and you'll get frustrated along the way and lose that positivity.  Instead, just focus on the main and end result.  For me, like I said, I focused on my love and I getting married and I knew it was going to happen.  I let the Universe take care of the rest, let life as normal play out, stayed happy every single day, wrote down my grateful notes and affirmations and just generally lived it up!  Not only did I attract my past love back, but I attracted 3 new serious suitors in the meantime!  It's all about the vibe :)  Lose the specifics and just focus on what you want, which is being in a relationship with your past love.

    I'm sure I'll think of more items to add, but this should get you started for now.  Just for reference, as I mentioned my love and I broke up around June 8 and we are just getting together September 14, 2014 which is about 3 months.  Of course, all situations are different but this was my experience...and I went pretty hard and intense with my affirmations, visualizations, etc.

    I think that's it PI Family! I am happy to answer any questions you might have and really hope that this information helps you attract back your true love or someone that you adore very very much :)


    See you around the boards!

    xo,

    CG

  • hmmm, thats tricky because it might not just be you or the girl, it could have been something his family said, the thing is until you find out the reason its hard, but what you can do is, is be there for him as a friend. You love him right? Then you want him to be happy with or without you, in this case what I would do is, is be there for him but also keep living in your life and stay positive with yourself. Indulge and do things you more, go out and experience the world, yes be there for him support him when he asks for it but don't jump to him when he needs you don't reply to him straight away wait a bit an then reply. He might be going through a lot but he needs to figure it out for himself all you can do is be there for him. 

    Heres a link try and use these steps, also read the comments/ replies it helps, I know every situation is different but you need to live your life an be happy before you can help him, an when he see's your all positive and have wonderful energy he will come back gradually, but you have to be ok if it does or does not happen remember if you truly love him you want him to be happy no matter what, so be there for him when you can but don't get pulled into the negative energy of doubt or his problems, don't take his problems in just listen to what he has to say if he wants advice tell him a few things an then talk about something on a lighter note 
    http://www.powerfulintentions.org/forum/topics/getting-your-ex-love...

    I hope this helps! 

    Sarah Sapphire <3 

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