Hey all!I'm new to this PI community and I'm glad to have become a part of it.I'm basically here to help get an insight on how to attract my ex back, if possible, or a fulfilling relationship with a new love.My guy and i broke up 7 months back. The break up was kinda nasty as we both said and did things we didn't mean to. He was the one who initiated the break up saying that he had lost his feelings for me because of the constant fights and arguments. He told me he felt pressurised which was also one of the reasons he withdrew. Even during the initial phase of the breakup, neither of us went no contact. We still used to talk almost everyday (sometimes fight because i used to beg and plead for him to give us one more try and that used to frustrate him). He has ever since insisted on us being best friends like we were before getting into the relationship.He says that he doesnt see a future with me because we have different ways of thinking and are thoughts will always clash and lead to arguments.Over time i feel an underlying resentment has grown between us. Both of us dont want to fight but somehow we misunderstand each other and arguments happen. Even the slightest of arguments cause annoyance and resentment. And instead of solving the issue we just leave it there so that it doesnt grow into a fight. I want to talk about the issues and understand each other's point of views, solve it and get over with it. But it just doesnt happen. I do love him a lot and i know that he still holds feelings for me but he isn't willing to work on it. He keeps insisting that we are better off as best friends. I know our issues are very minor and solvable. I want us to work out because we are sooo great together!! We are a wonderful team!I know we have hope and it is possible.All i want is for him to be willing to solve and/or let go of our past mistakes and start anew. I want him to love me like he did 8 months ago.Any advice on how to make him look at things the way i see them. And how can LOA help me in this?I'm staying quite positive since last month and I'm trying my best to not let any unwanted circumstance affect my positivity. I'm focusing more on myself and doing quite good at letting it go. I just never ed an assurance that the issues between us are resolvable and he is going to be willing to see through the past.Any and all advices are welcome.Your success stories give me a lot of hope :)

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  • Hi all,
    I've maintained no contact for more than 2 months now. He frequently contacted me for the first few weeks and then eventually stopped. I have focused entirely on myself ever since. I feel a lot better and confident. For a few days, I have been kind of wanting to talk to him, you know. I somewhat miss our connection. Like i said we're in the same class. So should i contact him now or allow him to do so?
  • I can really not avoid him.
    Is no contact really compulsory?
    Can I not attract him back while being his friend and alongside moving on and letting him see how i have changed and outgrown him in the process?

    LOA has no rules other than feeling good and letting go. And I'm doing it. Do i have a chance at attracting my love back?
    • The main issue is you are saying that you have accepted that fact you are friends but you are only kidding yourself.

      The only reason you are "friends" is because you are hanging onto the hope of getting back together and he wants you around so that he has you as a back up.

      He does not want you yet wants to be friends. When the new girl comes along "and she will" he will dump your friendship and you will be left in a emotional mess.

      LOA does have certain rules and one is no contact. How is he ever going to miss you when he see's you daily and you are giving him all your energy.

      We all give off energy and he will know that you are still very much into him.

      If you cut off this energy to him you will then have a chance of getting him back faster. The longer you stay in this cycle the less chance you will ever have of getting him back.

      The proof is you have been doing this since March and still you are only friends.

      As far as avoiding him this is possible. My ex lived with me and had no where else to go even though she finished it. She stayed at my flat which had only two bedrooms and we lived separate lives.

      After around a Month of me doing my own things she started to engage with me hinting she was interested. I just ignored it and continued on with my life which drove her mad.

      In the end I could have gone back with her if I had chosen to do so but this only happened due to giving no energy to her.

      If you do the same you have a chance. If you don't you will only fail :-(

  • I shall let you know that no contact is something which is not quite possible as we're classmates and benchmates as well and there's absolutely no way i could avoid being around him.
    Also I must tell you all that i have stopped insisting the idea of getting back together and have accepted the friendship completely since March. Like i said i am doing quite well at letting go. Him and i both know i am steadily moving on. He is growing more affectionate but is reluctant because he might be afraid of us landing in the same pit again. Although i have accepted the things as they are. But on a personal level i want him to see that this time around things are gonna be different. Advice?
    • I agree with James! You should cut off contact and remove the friendship tag. Just because you are classmates doesn't mean that you have to be friends. It'll be better for you and you'll allow LOA to work.
  • Hey,

    Unfortunately you at this moment in time you are his safety net. He knows that even after breaking up with you that you still want to be in contact with him and love him. Until you break this cycle it will only get worse until he meets someone else and you are but a distant memory.

    It really sounds like you need to stop being friends with him and back off. He has made it clear that you and him will not work. The more you try and make him see that you are a good match the more he will argue and back away. If anything continuing down this line will only make you break up without any chance of success.

    Sorry to be harsh but your actions are exactly what I did and it only ends in hurt down the line and then you will be a shadow of yourself.

    My advice to you would be the following.

    Stop all contact with him.

    Remove the friendship tag.

    Delete his number all all social media contact.

    Totally remove him from your life and vice versa.

    Continue to concentrate on yourself and force yourself to be active and social.

    Along with wanting your ex back also ask that you are able to help yourself and not expect someone else to make you happy.

    Start meditating to help with the though process and memories.

    I know the above seems extreme but the only people I know who have got back together with their ex's have had no contact. The safety net was removed. 

    Here is a question to you. If you see or hear from someone each day do you miss them? If this contact lands up in a heated argument will that improve the situation?

    Even in some cases the person doing the above attracts back the ex but it does not last due to them moving themselves forwards and not wanting the ex in their lives. It is strange when you looking after yourself how your outlook and needs change.

    The main thing is the more you push something that does not want pushed the worse it gets. 

    I am not saying you two are not mean't to be together but until you allow things to calm down and back off totally you will only show him that he was right to end it.

    I hope the above makes sense and it does not upset you. Yes this is harsh but by removing yourself from the outcome and leaving it to LOA the more chance you have of success. 

    Lastly if you drive a car try the following. Next time you need to go somewhere which is hard to park say to yourself ANGEL SPACE. I will 100% state you will get a parking space each time without worry. Do this and it will prove LOA works which will help with the doubt :-)

    Please keep my informed on how you are getting on and if you want advice before doing anything.

    Remember smile daily and look after yourself. You want to be the perfect you for everyone to see :-)

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