I am new to Powerful Intentions and I must say I am very much loving the discussions in this forum.. I stumbled upon this website (like many) after my ex and I broke up just a week ago.. I believe we belong together but the issue here is the distance between us.. You see, this is our story:
My ex and I started dating when I was still back home. He always knew that I was applying for jobs in Country X and as we got closer he was considering Country X as a next move for his job as well as neither of us liked living in the place where we were. However, one of his dream places to live in was the Country Y (He had been there before and fell in love with it) But he wouldn't move there for just any job, it would have to be a huge organization - and he had been pursuing this one particularly big organization even before he met me.
We were together 8 months in the same country - we have had our ups and downs but we always worked things out when we were together.. Cause I believed in us.
8 months into our relationship, I was offered the job in Country X. I discussed it with him after which I accepted it with the understanding that he would apply for jobs and come over there as well. Nothing developed on his side until the day I was leaving. That week I told him that I want to try doing long distance and I did not want to leave him. He assured me that he would not have got closer to me if he didnt think we had something very special. And he wants to give long distance a shot as well. Although he has never tried it before and was not sure about it..
After I moved to Country X, we would talk maybe once a week or something like that.. He never called me really, it was just text messages, me taking the initiative to Skype most of the time, but everytime we spoke it was like old times..
However, just a month later, he got offered a job from this massive organization in Country Y. He told me about it. I expressed happiness for him as it was his dream role/country but I did ask him what it meant for us. He said he is glad that I was happy for him, and maybe on some level he was looking for 'permission' from me. I told him that I want to be supportive of his dreams, and I would consider moving for him, provided he made a stronger commitment (whether it means saying the 3 words...or living together) He has not got his visa to go there yet, its still work in progress..
Our relationship kinda deteriorated long distance after that... I became more and more needy, he got more and more distant. He said he would come to visit me on leave but he said he did not get leave from his company. So I said ok, that's fine I shall come over there. I travelled 14 hours on a flight to be with him. He came to the airport and at first it seemed ok between us.. Then..
We had lunch 2 days later, thats when I expressed my feelings to him about how we need to communicate more if we want this long distance to work, that he has not once called me in the 2 months I have been away (Just once to wish me happy birthday) he did send me flowers which were beautiful and thoughtful, and made me understand that he cared. But I need some form of assurance that he is committed to me (whether its saying the 3 words or something else). I was honestly thinking that if he does not give a positive response, maybe I should tell him that this long distance is difficult and maybe we should just be friends if he cannot be a boyfriend to me right now... And the interesting thing is, he said that I really like you, I am sorry if it is not the words you want but I do. I asked him where he sees our future. He said he sees me, himself and his dog together living somewhere.. I think we have something special etc. SO I was like ok, he wants to put in the effort..
The next day he broke up with me saying he thought about it the whole night and he cant give me what I want :-( I did find it shocking that 1 day he could say what we have is special, I want to make this work etc. And the next day he tells me I cant give you what you want. He said 'this I love you, living together. You said you would move only if we live together and I dont think I can give that.. I cant do long distance anymore.. I want to be physically with my girlfriend, go to farmers market together etc etc' Which got me to thinking so what he wanted was just a girlfriend to do stuff with, not me, not Rachel as a person..
And that he does not know why he does not call more text more, and he should want to do that, maybe he romanticized the whole thing.... That is when I told him... If it was really about the distance we would try and make this work, is it about your feelings not being strong enough.. He was just quiet... thats when I realized its over... I shook his hand, said that we cannot be friends and that was the end of it... a cold break after 9 special months of being together.
Needless to say, I was heartbroken.. I believe we had something special and I cant believe he just gave us up with no second thoughts. If all he wanted was some woman to brighten up his arms, why was he with me. Why did he even attempt long distance. I did all I could to be supportive of his dream... And it was just so simple for him to break up with me...
I then stumbled upon your website... Started focusing on me and did not contact him. He messaged me 4 days after the break up saying happy new year, and that in 2015 there were times when he was low, and i was a beacon of light and happiness. THat pissed me off even more... Cause he was being a selfish prick. So thats the reason he was with me yeah? To pass his time when he was being lonely. I was so upset.. But I still want him back.. I did not reply.
Its been a week since we broke up now... I believe in the LOA that the universe will tell me when its the right time to get in touch with him. The time is not now i know that.. cause my emotions are still haywire. sometimes i feel low sometimes i feel high. I need to focus on me. I created a vision board, is when I realized that I still have faith and hope that the universe will do something that he comes back to me wanting to be together again. I cant help but sadistically hope that his other country plans dont pan out and he realizes he wants to be with me and only me...
Is this the right way of looking at it?
Awaiting your response,
Thank you very much