how to apply LoA to get my ex bf to love me again?

Posted by meimaymei on September 29, 2012 at 8:21pm

Me(f/25) and bf(m/37)  ended our one year relationship a week ago. We kinda broke up (for 3 days) two months ago, and I went out of town to give him space, when I came back we talked about it and decided to work on it. And I thought things were fine. I showed him I am a changed person so does he. Few days ago, out of blue, after watching tv, he said we needed to talk: I don't want to be with you anymore. I don't feel the same way anymore.
So I respect his decision. And I told him I still love him and I'm sorry it has to end like this. 
It was rough. I am moving out next week all the process is so painful. 

I have dated so many guys in my life, and I kid you not when I met him I know he's the one even until now. 

He told me that this is hard for him but it is the right thing to do, that I will always be an important part of his life. 
So far, he's been helping with all the process of moving, from finding, renting apartment, etc.


I sat down today, wrote everything in my mind, I felt calmer, thinking with my sense. Call me crazy but as I was writing somehow it hits me that I still have faith that in the future we are meant to be together, that this is just a major setback for both of us to grow separate way, to value each other in other perspective.

I know this is a good decision. I need to grow and be independent by myself. Know myself more, I just graduated, I am working on my career as a teacher. And I know he needs his own space and time. I am not sure if I have the faith or I am just convincing myself that one day we will find our way back together and we are meant for each other. 

I want to go for a therapy (since I believe I have some issues) but it costs a lot of money, and I found this site and it's free, so why not? :)

Any suggestions, questions, etc will be greatly appreciated! :)

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  • illusions October 14, 2012 at 12:29pm

    Hi Meimaymei :)

     

    I got your message asking me to post a reply here, so here I am! :)

     

    I've read through the thread, and you've had some great advice and support here already. Here's my contribution...

     

    Firstly, there are three main things to remember:

     

    1. The controls for everything "out there" are inside you. Everything in your life experience, is controlled from inside. This is a difficult concept to grasp fully at first, but once you get it, it's absolutely brilliant because it means it doesn't matter what you say or do - you don't have to worry about whether to contact the person, what to say to them, what to do.... because it's only what you do with the controlls inside you that makes the difference.

     

    2. We are all connected on a quantum level.

     

    3. Your feelings are your guide to what you want. Following what feels good will lead you to what you want, even when it doesn't seem to have anything to do with it. ;)

     

    Here's what I recommend:

     

    * Use the exercises in the thread here on PI called You Have a Superpower and practice filling yourself with the power of unconditional love. That will help to clear negative beliefs and patterns and blocks.

     

    * Once you have the hang of that, use the exercises in the thread: How to Change Other People's Attitude, Behaviour and Actions on your ex.

    *  Do something good for yourself each day, just because it feels good. This is not just about being good to yourself, this is about programming your subconscious to be treated with love - you set the example of how others will treat you, both physically and energetically. Be kind to yourself, and become aware of self-talk and self-thoughts. When you catch yourself saying something to or about yourself that is disrespectful, or unkind, change it in the moment.

     

    *  Use the Inner Hug  Whenever you're feeling sad, or scared, or missing him, use this tool - it really is a lot more powerful and magical than it may seem. Try it. :)

     

    *  Follow what feels good in the moment, every moment.

     

    Here's a post I wrote a while ago which explains how your navigation system works, and how you're led to what you want by following what feels good in the moment, every moment. The example given here, is of someone who wanted to find the man of her dreams, but it works in the same way with anything. Following what feels good in the moment is your treasure hunt trail to what you want. And it will be your guide to the relationship you want.

     

    Here are the two steps to getting what you want:

    1.  Love yourself

    2.  Follow what feels good in the moment.

     

    That's it. Because the outside is a reflection of inside, you will attract people and situations that reflect your beliefs about yourself. And following what feels good is your map to what you want.

     

    Here's an example of how the second step works: Jenny wants to meet the man of her dreams. She has already ticked off the first step - she knows she loves herself, and she treats herself the way she'd like to be treated by others. Now, she's going to follow the second step - she's decided to follow the treasure hunt trail to what she wants by following what feels good in the moment, even when it seems to have nothing to do with finding the man of her dreams.

     

    One Saturday night, Jenny gets a call from her best friend, Sarah. Sarah wants Jenny to go on a night out with her, to a new club. Jenny doesn't really feel like going out, she'd been looking forward to curling up with a book she's enjoying reading. Sarah tells her she'll never meet the man of her dreams staying at home. She should get out and meet people - he could be right there, at this new club tonight!

    Jenny thinks about this, and sees the logic, but she still doesn't feeeel like going. And if she compares going to the club and staying home reading the book... the idea of staying home feeeeels better - it feels good. If she weren't following step 2, she'd probably be swayed by Sarah's logic, and she'd go to the club even though it feels better to stay home. But she's decided to follow what feels good in the moment, so she stays home.


    Jenny curls up with her new book, it feels great. After a while she feels like a hot chocolate, so she goes through to the kitchen to make one. While she's waiting for the kettle to boil, she notices the TV guide open on the counter. She glances at it, and sees that her favourite comedy show is on in a few minutes. She realises it would be great to see it - she loves that show... but she really should finish that book - it's due back at the library on Monday. But the idea of watching the TV show feeeeels better than reading the book in that moment... so she follows what feels good, and watches the TV show while she drinks her hot chocolate.


    This episode of the show is set in a ballet school - Jenny used to do ballet, but gave it up ... watching this reminds her of how much she loves ballet. It would feel really good to do it again. So she decides to follow what feels good, and the next day she finds a ballet school in her area. When she mentions this to Sarah, Sarah points out that she's never going to meet the man of her dreams at ballet school. Jenny points out that men do ballet as well... okay, not that many, but those who do are often gorgeous. And anyway, she's not looking for her man, she's being led to him by following what feels good in the moment. The treasure hunt trail.


    So, Jenny has her first class on Tuesday night. After her class, on the way home, she stops for gas. There's a coffee bar next to the gas station, and she really feels like a coffee. She walks into the coffee bar, and there's a long line of people to be served. She thinks she should go, but she really feels like a coffee - the idea of sitting down with a coffee, even though she has to wait, feels better than leaving. So, she waits in the line. A man arrives and stands behind her in the line. He makes a witty comment about how long the wait is, she turns round and responds.... while they're waiting in the line, they chat. He tells her that he works nearby. They have coffee together.... and they switch numbers.... and eventually Jenny discovers that this is the man of her dreams.

     

    Every decision Jenny made was based on what felt good - regardless of whether it was logically going to lead her to what she wanted. If she hadn't done that, if she'd gone to the club with Sarah, she may or may not have met someone. But it wouldn't have been this guy. And had she not ended up at the ballet school, she wouldn't have happened to be at that coffee shop at that time.

     

    Now, she may well have still met this guy - in another way at another time, but it would have taken longer. Although it seemed a complex route, it was in fact the shortest, easiest route to meeting him... and of course the bonus is, she was feeling good and doing what she enjoyed along the way! :)

     

    There are infinite possibilities and variations on this of course, but if you're following what feels good in the moment, you're always on track. And this is the way it works for everything you want. You can't see the road ahead, so instead of blindly looking for what you want, allow yourself to be led to it. Follow what feels good in the moment. That's your navigation system. ;)

     

    If you are meant to be with your ex, loving yourself, using the unconditional love exercises detailed in the Superpower and Changing Other People threads I mentioned above, and then following what feels good in the moment, every moment, will lead you into the relationship you really want with him - and most likely in a seemingly round-about way with synchronicities you'd never have imagined! :) Trust. Trust yourself, and trust the process.

     

    Here's another thread to read which describes how "out there" (including your experience with your ex of course) is controlled from the control panel inside you: Why Nothing You Do or Say Makes a Difference

     

    Hope this helps. Love and Light and Magic xxx

  • meimaymei October 9, 2012 at 8:27pm
    How did you let go? I'm trying but seems like it doesn't last long and I'm back thinking of him hmmm..
    • Amanda Sparkles > meimaymei October 10, 2012 at 10:32pm

      Hi there, we never stop thinking of them, we just have to do it positively and in the right way.  Have you watched the AH, FRED videos? (I put them on the resources thread).  I watched them, maybe twice or so, and realized what she was saying was that we're not letting go of the 'essence' of what we want, but the needy thing, the wanting, the demanding or whatever negative energies we put out there.  I have a couple of times had tearful times of 'letting go' and saying 'I let you go' and this has helped clear my mind.  It's not that I have let go of my ask to be reunited but of the struggle I suppose.  That's also in the videos, it's sort of like, you let go and wait down stream for them to come down stream to you rather than you keep swimming in the wrong direction. 

      What I've learnt is if you want LOA to work for you, you need to do the work to find out the techniques that work for you, so keep exploring and learning too.  that's my best tip really.  Keep finding out how it works for you, then follow it.  Keep trying.  

      Today I followed a good feeling and made a contact that went well.  It's a small thing but I followed the good feeling and then made action :)  (also in the FRED video!)

    • meimaymei > Amanda Sparkles October 13, 2012 at 8:21pm

      One thing that I really want right now is for him to forgive me and letting go all the resentments he has towards me.. Any suggestions?

      I am glad your contact went very well. How have you been so far?!

  • Amanda Sparkles October 9, 2012 at 2:49pm

    Oh so sorry you are going through this.  I think it's going to work in your favour that he wants you as a friend still.  I have seen how it's hard for mine to let go of that.

    It's strange you mentioned the RS (remote seduction) as I realized this morning I've been focusing on other mediations and not done it for a while when I used to do it once a day.  So I'm going to do it now.

    Yes I do believe it works because it channels our thoughts to the person and it gets us visualizing.  

    It's your best next steps: take some time to make sure you do really want him in your life still.  Do take that time.  When you're sure you love him unconditionally and it's the right thing for you, put out your intentions and start visualizing and working on them.  Don't forget to do things for yourself and let go.  Look at all the links and threads and resources...

  • meimaymei October 8, 2012 at 10:29pm

    Hi ladies,

    it's thanksgiving here in Canada, and although I feel miserable I still have more than 3 things to be thankful for this year (as I made cheers during dinner - with water, new place, got no wine yet, with my man last night once I'm all moved out to my new place).

    Me and him had a rough conversation couple nights ago. He told me it's over, does not want me to think that there's more left. He can't see us together anymore, the feelings are gone. At some point he resent me. It was not easy to take on all those. We talked about it and the wrong was on both of us. He's ready to move on, but not sure when he's ready to start dating again.. He said I am very important for him and want to keep the friendship and he's ready to hang out as a friend..


    Yesterday we realized that it's going to be the last time I will be at his place. There's this christmas card he gave me hung on the wall and we were reading it, it says "yada yada yada *all sweet words* then he wrote"the moment you knocked on my door, you changed my whole life, thank you for loving me." I couldn't stop myself from crying and he hugged me so tight and can't stop crying too for a moment (and as usual he's so good at pushing it away and back to normal state).

    Today he came over helped me couple stuffs and before he left I handed him back his car and house keys, it was very emotional, we both got teary eyed. It's really sad, I wish I could go with him again to his parents place for thanksgiving, like last year.. Instead I am sitting alone in my apartment with everything all over the places :-p

    I am trying to let go, as you all know it is very difficult.. ha ha.. I tried the remote seduction just now and it helped me relaxed a bit and lifted up my spirit again.. but sometimes I think would LOA even work even it takes only one side..?

    Sorry for the essay.. I need to vent at some point. Have a beautiful day :)

  • meimaymei October 8, 2012 at 10:18pm

    Amanda I finally got the chance to listen to the remote seduction link you gave me. It helped me relax a lot and focus on my visualization. How is it working for you so far? Thanks a bunch :)

  • Debbie Corey October 4, 2012 at 4:25pm

    Ok have you looked up Twin Flames look this up on you tube or just on the internet, sometimes with TF one has to leave because they are scared of the too intense feelings that the have for someone or they have to take care of unresolved issues KARMA in their past, just let him go and know that he will be back and if you feel the same then then take him back with no reservations. Look it up and if you are in a TF relationship you will be imazed at all of the things you have in common with these stages of Twin Flame relationships people think that when you are in this type of relationship everything should run smoothly but it rarely does and you have to go through all of the bumps in the road to finally come back together for everything to be perfect...........

    • meimaymei > Debbie Corey October 5, 2012 at 3:16pm

      So what should I do if it is twin flames?

    • Debbie Corey > meimaymei October 5, 2012 at 4:10pm

      Hi how are you doing? Have you been able to relax about this a little bit?

      Have you looked up twin flames? Do you feel it is a TF relationship....

      He seems like he is breaking up with you yet sad about about it so he really doens't know why he is doing this... You each have to work on yourselves you are right, then you will come back.....

      If you are in a twin flame relationship you will find your way back to each other.

      In the meantime you have to try and move on and live your life keeping busy as much as possible, as i said exercising and meditating. In doing this you will get answers to all of this and know what to do....

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