sharing my positive energy

things have not been too great lately.  my cousin was killed in a terrible auto accident, my aunt has hospice coming in.... but im still forcing myself to see the silver lining of life throughout all of this. 

things also took a turn for the worst with my love and my heart.  rather than going through all the meaningless details i will only share the positive parts because that is what i want to focus on.  today a friend of his confirmed that he does in fact have a girlfriend.  in my heart i knew this.  did i attract that? possibly.  i wasn't upset thought because i already sensed it.  i asked him if they were serious and he said no bc he says shes clingy.  right then at that very moment i was beaming.  which is weird because the fact is he is still with someone else but for some reason it didn't bother me.  i felt this strange feeling of relief.... like yea he might have a girlfriend but she's not me.  he doesn't have me.  haha i suddenly felt like running for the hills and spinning in a meadow. 

i can't explain it.. i guess i just know i was never clingy.  we just worked.  we just wanted to spend as much time with eachother as the other... until i found out he was leaving.  anyways, in a way i feel free. free to move forward with life.  free to trust this process and believe that what is best for me and what i really want will prevail in its timing.  right now im dealing with seeing life as a precious gift every day in the face off all the death i have seen.  i am also focused on finding a job and am feeling SO great about this for some reason.  i can't even explain this feeling.... its just a feeling of knowing.  does anyone else know what i mean.  maybe im finally focused on the feeling rather than the outcome.  which is the whole point.

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  • Thats cool :) how your happy, sucks what happened though with your family, but I'm glad your looking at the positives with this guy. In most forums they say look at the outcome visualize it, I've done that hasn't fully worked for me I might focus on my feelings to an be positive :) thank you You've made me see it from a different prospective. 

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