I am finally to the point in my life where I can say I am Very VERY greatful for being Dumped by my High School Sweetheart.When I was a junior in High School, I met D. ( no need to say his name, just a letter is fine) We met through a friend of ours(TR) when D was brought into our group. It wasn't love at first sight, but it was damn close. Give it a week and we were head over heals for each other. Within 2 weeks, he had given me, one of the sweetest gifts, A playing card. It was the Queen of Hearts. He wrapped it in a note, that said to the Queen of my heart. . Love D. He was a romantic. He said all the right words, and for once it wasn't the teenage boys hormones that were raging.D was my first, at my urging and not his. I'm a scorpio in one of the truest sense.He came from a very broken home. Abandond by his mom and unwillingly taken in by his Dad and step mom, he just wanted a family I think. I accepted him as Family and so did my Parents. He gave me as much of the world as 16 yr old Jobless teenage boy could. Hell, he gave me a Laptop, an Old Grey Box Nintendo with games( I never had one before and was dying to be a gamer LOL) He gave me roses, he was the best.Then something happened. I still to this day don't know exactly what happend. He broke a promise to me, which he had never done. He even lied to me about where he was, and I flipped out. We had always been VERY honest with each other, even more so than Adults can be at times. We , I thought, were soul mates. Within a month he Dumped me. and After he had dumped me, he had said he loved me.That was August before my Senior Year. Maybe my fear of losing him, attracted his dumping me. But at that time, He "made" me Happy and my Happiness relied on him.September rolled around and when anyone would see us within 30ft of each other, you could cut the tension with a chainsaw. Too thick for just a knife. I now know that I attracted the next events too me. By October of My senior year, My entire group of friends had decided that I was not worth being friends with, that I was manipulative and was lying to all of them and would do what ever I could to get attention. I found out later in life that it was TR who fuled this. Only after reconciling with A few friends just 4 years ago. I was devistated. I was suicideal. I even practiced self mutilation in the form of branding on myself, just so I could feel physical pain instead of emotional pain. It was to the point that I even attempted suicide. It was a miricale that happened. Being the Hopeless romantic that I am and seeing myself in a tragedy worthy of Shakespear, I was about to shove a dagger into my chest, when the phone wrang. I figured it can wait and it was a friend who asked me if I was ok, I spilled my guts to him. He said if I didn't tell a councilor on my own he would randomly find a way to pull me out of class and drag me by my hair to the concilor. He meant it to. So I told my councilor and he called my mom. I went to ONE theorpy Session and that was because they insisted that my mother come in with me. The one time we had talked about me wanting to die, mom and I, She was angry, " How could you do this to me! What do you think my Family is going to think of me if my only child kills herself?"I had to find a whole new group of Friends. It's when I learned what a true friend was. My Best Friend from that time is STILL my best friend and I am eternally greatful for her. She helped pull me out of my suicidal depression. The other friends I made from there on out, were true friends.All of those Friends were juniors, and I was their age( when i was in kindergarten I started in a different state, and was able to start when I was 4) I made an interesting choice before the end of that year. I was going to Purposely flunk 1 full required credit in order to stay back and graduate the next year. To Graduate with the people I found to be my real friends. My parents weren't happy about it, but there was nothing that they could do, because at this point my education was all on me.So fast Forward to December of my Second Senior Year. D and I had tried to be friends again. And being young and dumb, we were smoking a little weed. And one thing led to another. Fast forward to April of that year( 2001). I had always been a little irregular, and hadn't thought anything about me missing a period since december, until my breasts started to leak a little. I thought I was pregnant. And I had to break it to my parents, who, were not pleased. Daddy was more hurt than anything. Well I wasn't Pregnant. It was something that I suffer from to this day, A Prolactinoma Microadnoma Pitutiory Tumor. It's a tumor located on my pituitory gland just below the vision nerves. If it grows too much, I will go blind. If it is removed before I am able to have childeren, it could hinder my chances to have my own childern.So because I told my friends this, and it got back to those who use to be my friends, Tr insisted I was just trying to get their attention again. I ignored this and was happy. and I know now that i definately attracted that happiness that followed. Fast forward to 4 years ago.After being diagnoised with type 2 diabetes, which i am grateful for because now I actually try to pay attention to what I eat, I reconciled with C. and J, they got together when D and I did in high school And were actually getting Married( they have , as of this year, been together 9 years Married 4) I said, you know what, it would be funny if D called you up and said he would be at your party. We didn't think that was even potentially possible because D was suppose to be in Iraq.He showed up at the party.It was almost like it picked up just before things got bad. then he lied to me and all of us and went and got married, even though he had basically been dating me for 2 months. Well after about 2 months of a minor depression, I said it's done and over. I Found a new Job that I have been with since, I found a way to finance my secondary education, and now having found the secret, I know now that I am greatful for everything that has happened to me in my life. We can't change the past, but we can change how we view it. Instead of pining over him like I used to, I just let it be. Only I can make myself happy, Only I can contorl my Destiny. Money is coming to me easily, and I am getting closer and closer to being everything I want to be, and Life couldn't be better.If you are asking why I shared all this with you, it's because I have never fully told anyone this entire story. Now I am sharing it with the world. because my love for life and my gratitude of everything that i have gone through and my gratitude for every day that I live, is what brings me to tears now. Tears of Joy. Thank you for reading. Maybe you can find something to relate to, Maybe you can be greatful because I chose to share this with you.I know I am greatful for all of this, because everyone who reads this provides a safe enviroment where I have no fears, only happiness.Thank you everyone.

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  • Thank you so much for sharing. While reading your story, it made me realize that while I am very grateful for all the loving people I have in my life, I have not been able to feel gratitude for all the bad things that happened in my life because on some levels and for some people, I have not truly found forgiveness. This is something I intend to work on now!

    Again, thank you for sharing.

    Mary
    • No problem. Every day is a struggle to find forgiveness, especially if it's a grudge that has been held on to for years. I still struggle for with everything. That bit of doubt creeps in and you have to find what ever you can to be happy with the outcomes in life, no matter what they are. Personally, I think " the Past is over and the future has yet to come. Live for the moment. Life is a gift and that's why now is called the Present."

      I am greatful for every moment of my life, because without each of those moments, who would I have become. Each one shaped me a certain way, and each one shapes me even now, and when I start feeling down i take a deep breath and smile and say Thank you at least in my head. It immedialtly raises my spirits and makes each day worth living.
  • Wow what a great story thankyou for sharing
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