How do I know for sure if I should keep hope?

Hello all,I am new to LOA and still haven't read Ms Hay's book, but I am in an uncomfortable place and am seeking an answer. Two years ago my partner ended our ten-year relationship. We are from different countries and finally immigration issues forced us into a long-distance relationship, we tried but after two years my partner found someone else. I handled it horribly. I lied to my neighbors about my partner with the intention to ruin my partner's reputation. There is no excuse for what I did. In my mind--since my partner had lied to me by finding another partner and not telling me until months later, I used my partner's deceit to justify my own actions. I was wrong. My partner and I have had no contact until last month. Prior to my viewing The Secret I had an overwhelming urge to call, we had a healing conversation and shared forgiveness.A week later a friend gave me The Secret DVD and I am trying to understand the LOA and put it into practice. When I try to describe my 'perfect partner' I keep describing attributes of my ex. For instance..."I want a partner who always looks into my eyes and I can see how much I am loved (like my ex), I want a partner who puts our relationship above other friendships (like my ex), I want a partner who believes in me and supports me and gives me a friendly nudge in the right direction when I get off-track (like my ex)." Now I am wondering if my ex is, in fact, my perfect partner; or if I am hanging on to the past in order to not have to move forward.My stomach is in knots and I am unable to find inner peace. Am I afraid to completely let go of my ex? Am I afraid that my ex might be my perfect partner? Or, am I even more afraid that my ex is not my perfect partner. How do I know?Where do I look for answers, I am unable to find the answer within yet.Thanks.

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    • Wow,
      Thank you so much for the wisdom. Tomorrow is Easter Sunday, Resurrection Sunday, and my intention is to resurrect my inner self. I think I will begin by reading Ms Hay's book and take it from there. Thank you. The LOA says to ask, believe and receive...Thank you again.
  • The law of attraction also says that you must not attach yourself to the outcome of a situation or to a specific person or object. What you seek is a perfect partner and you must "allow" the universe to send you that partner. Because the human mind gets accustomed to the habits and attitudes of one person, we do not think that something more or different that will be good for us exists beyond this person we know. we get into a comfort zone and we stop growing. that is when stagnation creeps in.

    All you have to do us affirm for the perfect relationship or partner. define why you need or want this relationship, give thanks and let go. then start watching for what happens around you.

    In my opinion, when the immigration issues came up and you had to go separate ways the universe had decided you were not right for each other or maybe you were in a co-dependent relationship which is unhealthy, that it was time for you to learn your lessons. If you say that you want a partner so you feel loved- then as White tiger says, you must look within for that feeling of love. connect to it, draw your strength from that love within. you will find that you do not have to DEPEND on somebody else to receive it.

    Basically you have to trust that what is happening is perfect, according to the divine plan. That if your "ex" was the right partner- he will return to you or that something better is on the way.

    And the best mantra for dealing with all types of issues- THIS SHALL ALSO PASS.
    • Thank you. I discovered that I was too attached to the outcome, that is why I came here for advice. It's hard to admit, but I do consider myself incomplete without a partner. I am realizing that I need to become my own best friend, my own rock of strength that I can rely upon. I know that until I renew myself, rediscover my joy, and learn gratitude, that I need this time alone.
      Thank you for your wisdom.
      Happy Easter!
  • I had a very similar experience.My finance broke up with me,I was devistated but I used this situation to work on myself,my letting go of my codependent nature and much more.I started visualizing my new love and I thought!" my goodness these attibutes sound just like my x",(if he would manifest his whole potential).To make a long story short I started a wonderful,wonderful journey to my own self love,it took group therapy,lots of reading" you can heal your life" among other books,lots of prayer but I completely ressurected my life.I fillled myself with the truest love I had ever known-ME
    It just so happened that after some months after this inner work my x called and said he couldnt live without me,he had changed so much,changed into an incredibley spiritual and beautiful man and turned into everything on my 3 page discription of what I wanted in a man
    He changed because I CHANGED.I had let go of the outcome that I would ever be with him again.I let the universe decide.I had no idea it would be him,We just got married and I am still putting myself first and for that reason he is crazy about me.because I am crazy in love with myself.
    I hope you find this useful.
    blessings BB
    • Thank you for your honesty. I must admit that I expect the exact same outcome, HOWEVER, I obviously have not let go yet. This morning I promised myself to renew myself, to rediscover all the wonder that is me, to fall in love with me, and to find my joy! When I am ready, when I know I am complete, then I shall focus on discovering my perfect partner. The hard part right now appears to be letting go. I wonder how I will feel in a week, a month, a year. Fear is the reason I am not letting go. Fear that my ex will not be my future, fear that I will be alone, fear that I am not enough. Fear is a powerful attraction and I do not want to attract any further things that I do not want.
      Today's new mantras: "Everything is perfect exactly as it is." "I am wonderful, complete, whole, loving and beloved." "I am worthy."
      Thank you so much for your wisdom. Now it is time for me to read Ms. Hay's book. Any other suggestions for helpful books or websites.
      Happy Easter!
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