Attracting Love

Its been a few months since I've been on PI.  I was involved with a woman (2.5 months) who was basically a mess being just 6 months out of a 20 year marriage.  We had some good times, but she clearly wasn't ready for a rel/ship, and the attraction was marginal for me. 

 

So my dilemma is I occasionally see my LTR ex (we were together for 5 years) at social events, and last summer, fall and winter when we'd see each other, I was a still a mess.  I have since dropped the neediness and have become much more non-chalant in general.  Our last face to face encounter at a meetup event was very interesting because I was calm, cool and collected.  She commented on it.  I did not ask her to hang out or talk about any future plans.  I did call her a few weeks later, and it was a nice conversation.  At one point I did matter of factly ask her if there was any hope for us?  She started crying and could not speak.  I changed the subject, and the phone call ended on a more upbeat note.  Ok, so the thing is, during our last face to face, she commented on what a strong connection we had.  I agreed, but didn't elaborate.  So...in the meantime, I've been trying to meet new people and have had a date or two, but no one who seems like they're going to spark the kind of connection we had.

 

I know LOA says to focus on attracting a person with the kinds of qualities you want.  Would it be against LOA to contact her and suggest a lunch meetup with no talk about the rel/ship, just a hang out?

We have had multiple breakups...but I just noticed how easy and comfortable the rapport was the last two times we communicated...I also know that she is too proud and stubbord to initiate anything with me...ok, fire away!

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Replies

  • Hay Jay E,

     

    Sorry about my woefully late reply here to your uplifting message.  I have heard some in the LOA community say that even though you want a certain outcome (to be with a particular person) if you don't let go and focus on yourself it won't happen.  Now, I have certainly been focusing on myself, I am in grad school, staying busy, working on projects at my job, going out and socializing, trying new things, but it still doesn't seem like enough. My thoughts are never far from my ex....So go with the flow,,,sounds good...and I know what you're saying...but often I feel like I'm not in the flow...and wonder how to get back in the flow.  I also wonder about receiving signs that she is coming back; how to interpret them....etc..I know this is a tall order...but would appreciate your input... 

  • Hey Flanigan

    Look it really sounds like you want to re-establish contact with her. In fact to me it sounds as if this is the only relationship you really want. so why not focus only on this. If it is right for you it'll happen, because she will think the same thoughts.

    If it is not right then again that'll happen because one of you will stop sending the waves. For now go with the flow and see where it takes you.

    Best of luck and keep us posted

    Jay

  • Thanks Valerie....Its really hard to hang on to hope, but somehow I do
  • I know this is a little late, but from what I understand, it's not against the law of attraction. I've heard it both ways, that you can't make someone love you who doesn't and I've heard of people have had success visualizing/attracting people who didn't previously love them or they thought they had no chance with...But apparently she still does love you (and vice versa), since you guys both notice that you have such a strong connection. Just visualize the two of you together, in a relationship, completely happy, etc...Obviously you have been doing something positive, since all the negative things seem to be in the past. Sorry I can't be much help, I'm semi new to this whole thing...Good luck.

  • It would be nice to get a response...but I understand...so I will leave this site again soon...

  • I know its Sunday Night...but if anyone is up for replying...I would be so grateful-FH
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