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I feel like I am going up and down, around and around.  Letting go, clinging back on, anxiety, calmness.  What a mess argh

No but seriously.  I am truly and deeply in love with this person.  I have been listening to Abraham Hicks and what they say obviously makes sense. 

I was looking at this dating site and saw his profile.  He says from 5 years he hopes to be with the love of his life. I am like but its me :)

He only wants friendship with me but i know we are more than this. 

I am resisting I know but I dont know if the universe is hearing me?

Look forward to your reply

thanks :)

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Since you haven't shared any details -- that is, how you met, where you met, whether this is strictly an on-line thing or if you've talked on the phone or actually met in person and spent time together . . . what are your age differences, cultural differences, location differences, religious and/or spiritual differences . . . and so on . . .


It's hard to give you a definitive answer in absence of all this information.  But in general, I take from what you said that he views your relationship from a fundamentally different point of view than you do.


He's content to be friends -- you want more.


From my own experience . . . this almost NEVER works for the person who wants more.  My advice is to move on.  Keep this person in your light as a treasured friend, for sure, but do not hang your expectations of a Happy Life upon him, because you will surely be disappointed.


Treasure the affection for each other that you have, for what it is, and pursue your OWN happiness, regardless of what he chooses, because ultimately you choose to be happy because you choose to be happy, having nothing to do with anyone else, nor any THING else.  It's not up to him, nor anyone, how you prefer to feel about yourself or your circumstances in any given moment.


One of the fundamental twists in the Human Psyche is that we always want to make other people responsible for the way WE CHOOSE TO FEEL.


"Oh, you make me SO angry."


No . . . you CHOOSE to feel angry.  Ask yourself why.


"Oh, you make me SO happy."


No . . . you CHOOSE to feel happy.  Ask yourself why.


Each of us is responsible for the way we choose to feel, based on our definitions not only of Self but of other people, other circumstances, and all situations.  In every instant, we always have a CHOICE as to what we define that moment to be, and how we wish to interpret that moment.


Being Happy -- or not -- is simply YOUR CHOICE.  Period.

Could not have said it better myself. It seems like the second you move on and let go of the person (I know that can be nearly impossible sometimes), they all come crawling back! Lol. But the truth is, a lot of times we have such intense feelings for someone that even when it's not meant to be and they move on, we want it so badly we'll do anything to get them back, and we don't even let ourselves consider whether they may not be "the one". Doing that, and not finding some tiny ounce of peace with wherever you are lead always causes resistance. Just thought I'd add that tid bit to what was previously said, and it was well said!

Spirit Girl, no one should be putting a time frame on when they will be engaged and married. This is a cultural construct. It means nothing and plus you're only putting more pressure on yourself to go out and grab someone only to then discover that they are not who you thought they were. Don't be in a rush. Fall in love with yourself first rather than trying to force someone to have feelings for you. That way people will see that you are a self confident woman who they would want to be with. You also have to ask yourself if you're in love with the idea of being married or if you truly have feelings for the person himself....

Hi Ski Girl

I really do have true feelings for this person.  I just cant believe it really.  Never felt this way for any man before.

For Rascal, we were together, he broke up with me 5 months ago.  We were together for year and half.  We met online and then in person.  I really do believe he is my soulmate.

He has told me that I frustrate him.  When I am the most easygoing person ever.

From what i heard on Abe Hicks, a person who gives you the most annoyance or disharmony is your soulmate.  I dont know how the heck i frustrate him? 

But I think he is projecting something of himself to me?

We have a good deep connection thou and I do treasure that :)

Spirit Girl,

No offense to Abraham Hicks, but I read this book by Sylvia Brown and she said that it is highly unlikely we would run into our "soulmate" on earth because in the spiritual realm, time here on earth is so short, that our soulmate is probably in another time zone enjoying another experience.  Also, if we think about it, a soulmate is really a half of our self.  Why would we want to be in love with ourself???  I find that to be unromantic.  This is the revelation I have had in the last 6 months.


Rather, I think we romanticize the word soulmate to just mean the "love of our life."  I find that more realistic and comforting.  Don't you?? :)


But, from an experience I had with a man...I thought we brought out great things in each other, that I could relate to him, etc....we struggled.  I frustrated him.  There was a push and pull for many years and I couldn't put my finger on it.  I felt like I had to "force" him to believe, but I wasn't consciously aware of this.  But, I do remember that feeling.


I think our true love, when we are actually being loved by someone, brings us both peace.  We are also challenged to grow and conquer what lies before us by a great love, but there is an inner peace and comfort because we are at ease and trust the other to love us.





Thats the thing, he isnt my Soul mate, he is my Twin Soul.  There is a difference with the two.  I feel priveleged and lucky to have met him in this lifetime :)

I've found that I tend to butt heads with people who are most like me, rather than those who are radically different.  I suspect it's all about the projection-reflection mechanism -- having been "cut from the same cloth" so to speak, thus activating in one another all those things both positive and negative that we know to be true about ourselves.


In terms of a "soul mate" therefore, you may be correct in your assessment.  Perhaps he finds you frustrating because he sees a lot of himself in you, and can't deal with the reflection.


I can't say for sure, of course -- but I think it's a fair probability :-)

Thanks Rascal :)

I believe and just know very much so on my assessment:)  I am glad you can see that too.Yep we are very much alike, we are like twins :D  Its like I found alot of myself in him.

Whenever I am with him, like when we were together and when we currently hang out.  There is things I didnt approve of, but I kept them to myself, no need to make a hoo haa about trivial things, because of my acceptance of him.  Except expressing to him that he needs to learn to have more patience and tolerance for me.  Now I projected that to him because I know that is what I have patience and tolerance and of course Lots of love for him :)

Thanks Rascal :)

Hi Spirit Girl

This is an incredibly important subject that shows up in the forums over and over again. Thank you for asking it here.

Before I answer your questions, allow me to offer a new perspective: We each have many many soul mates in a life time. Sometimes it is a parent or a grandparent, sometimes it is a sibling, a teacher and often it is a friend. Every time we fall in love it is a soul mate. Past, present and future... The very idea that we only get one soul mate is the construct of the the christian religion. You know, the one love for life idea so you better make it the best possible one.

I can't speak for you or anyone else but for me I have been in love many times in my life of 50 years. Each time was more intense and more perfect than the last. I felt each time that they were the love of my life. They were definitely my soul mates, every last one of them. It's a progressive deepening toward the center of myself.

One of the things that irratates me most about our north-western culture is that we feel we have to stay with someone until  we can no longer stand the sight of them. So most break ups are bad ones and folks leave each other forever... Not really a good situation if you take into account that even that person that you can no longer stand to be in the room with is a soul mate.

When we fall in love 2 things are happening. There is the phormone or body response and then there is the connection, or the soul response. Where a relationsip actually exists is in the space in between that, the personality.

A close friend once told me that the feeling of true love happens when two people meet and find that their particular brand of insanity is relatable to both of them. While I believe that his language (insanity) was a bit dramatic, I've found over the years that the idea is sound. The thing about personality is that it changes.

Obviously the person you speak of has had a change of personality and has decided to end the relationship before he came to a place where he couldn't stand to be around you any more. I doubt it was because you did anything wrong, it's just the natural progression of a relationship where two people are both growing at their own speeds. Maybe you grew so fast he couldn't keep up for example.... What a wonderful opportunity you have here, to move on in life to the next level without loosing one of your soul mates completely.

Now about your question, the universe doesn't care one bit about you wanting to be with him. You can not attract a certain person against their will... EVER!!

What the universe does care about is what loved about him and every other person in your life and if you can focus on that with out trying to force a relationship with an unwilling party, then the universe will bring you the next person who will represent your next higher soul mate.

I send this to you with love and respect.

May your journey be a blessed one.

Forever here for you




Thank you so much Kat

I will send loving energy to him, and always do through meditation and thoughts.  I know I cannot force any situation.  As he is on his own journey he may come back to me soon, or up to 5 years, who knows, or maybe i will have another partner.  But the feeling I got from this man, was the relationship that exists between the human form and spiritual form you have mentioned.  I felt it, never have I felt this energy with anyone else that has been in my life.

I wanted to be with him on his journey though, being that we are very similar.  He chose to end the relationship because he believed we didnt work, when deep down, we had so much potential to work.  And maybe he knew that but was scared and went on? 

I am glad we are still in contact.  He does mean alot to me, so it should be if we are with our soulmate/twin flame.  Why does it have to end totally?  Yes I am hurting but to still have contact I have so much gratitude for :)

Thank you Kat

Love n light

One of the things that irratates me most about our north-western culture is that we feel we have to stay with someone until  we can no longer stand the sight of them. So most break ups are bad ones and folks leave each other forever... Not really a good situation if you take into account that even that person that you can no longer stand to be in the room with is a soul mate.

I remember my man telling me one time last year.  I accept our differences (we were very similar so not much differents).  I felt warm and fuzzy when I heard that, like he had so much patience and tolerance :)

I just came across this quote:

  1. A relationship isn't about being perfect. It's about loving every single imperfection about the other person ♥


Yeh there were things a little bit, that would annoy me but i never blurted it out.  I was the one with so much patience and tolerance.  It surprised me that I stayed, other women would have walked away but I stayed because I accepted that this relationship worth everything, the connection i felt with him.  Accepting each others imperfections.  But he got frustrated with me and from what I have heard and read, its something within him that is frustrating him (projection).  He just lost his patience with me.  Its too bad really, we had something really good.  At the time I was an insecure mess but now I am strong and loving myself and seeing my worth and I think I am a pretty cool person and he was lucky to have me.



Hello Spirit Girl..

I happen to a very strong believer in The Law Of Attraction which of course works on Vibrational Frequency. In My estimation you and the Person you wish to be with are in a different Vibrational Place. It would be Impossible to tell who's Vibration is the Highest, nor does it even matter. As Abraham would say Your vibrating at 109.5 AM and He is Vibrating at 88.6 FM. I suggest to you become friends, and talk to one another. Be Yourself without pretenses, If you find that you have become Fast Friends, is there any more you can ask for. Remember you have many More lifetime Friends then you have Past Lovers.

You will find out through Friendship whether he is the one for you, or a Jerk you are Glad you have not invested your Heartbreak on, Or the many Degrees of Friendship that are in the Middle. Go into this and all relationships, with out expectations, and those who you have relationships with will never again disappoint you. For everything you receive from them will be a Gift.. Become a Gift Giver, and you will find yourself becoming the person a gift Giver will want to Fall in Love with... Smile.

From the Mind Of DamonJ


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