Please help...

I have been recently feeling very upset and depressed lately. I lost my job over two weeks ago, without any real explanation other that the economy is bad. I have been trying to look for work, but have not been receiving any calls back.I will even have nightmares about my work and will wake up in a bad mood, either angry or crying.I am also getting married in May next year and instead of enjoying the preparation, I have been upset to the point of crying due to budgeting and fear of not having enough money for the wedding.I feel it is so hard in trying to control my emotions and stay positive. Any advice or good vibes could really help me.

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  • I have been trying to be positive. I really have... Unfortunately my fiance who is a contract worker for a large company was told that he couldn't work for three months and then would be reconsidered to come back once the three months are over. We live together and now we both don't have work. Him as well as my family have suggested cancelling the wedding.

    I feel like everything good that has happened to me is now crashing down on me. I feel almost numb, lost, confused and scared. And I don't understand why this is all happening now and all at once.

    I am at edge and need a miracle...
    • Lisa,
      Do not cancel your wedding. Remember that people who aquired their dream did not give up. Ever. Picture your wedding like a movie. Picture the people dancing and making merryment. Get detailed. Imagine one of your relatives chatting with one of his relatives. Imagine the food and drink you will serve. The music that will be played. Imagine your ceremony in great detail. This will move God and the universe to put everything in line to make the wedding. I am wondering where you live, because in my area (New York) everyone give the bride and groom money and no one buy them a gift. If this is the custom in your area, the giftings will pay for the wedding. This will help if you can pay some of the bill after the wedding.

      Don't give up. I felt like giving up many time and I don't give up. Did you go to the website I posted? Also looking into temp agancy until you can find a new job. I am sending positive vibe you and your fiance find a job.

      Peace and Prosperity to you,

      Kris
  • Hi Lisa,
    I would first like to say that I empathize with your situation. It is not simple to just "stop" being something, whether that be sad, angry, snappish, harsh, what-have-you. It almost feels like it is snowballing. To say something like "I want to stop being angry and depressed," is not something I feel has ever benefited me, personally. Unfortunately, that's what loved ones tend to say: "Why can't you just stop doing x,y,z" or "Stop being x,y,z."
    Here's the kicker- "just stopping" suggests a lack of action. It is stagnation, stopping any form of motion. As living creatures, we are always doing, so "just stopping" is difficult to focus on. We need to substitute something for each thing we "stop". And nevermind that the statements above are all focusing on the negative! It is a simple rephrasing and reframing that we can start with. According to LoA teachers, saying "I no longer wish to be depressed," is essentially focusing on depression, thus manifesting it more because that is what our thoughts are on.
    At this point, we may need to retrain our minds. This takes persistence. It takes homework- I have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, and I have found the following concrete items to be more useful than many therapeutic techniques (heh, and I am also a therapist- how 'bout that ;) ).

    1.) Like Model T was saying: Wow! You have a wedding to plan for! A WEDDING! Something that is essentially a celebration of love. That's fantastic.
    One thing that can be helpful is making daily gratitude lists- maybe several times a day when things seem less easy. If I were in your shoes, I'd definitely be putting the celebration of love on there. Having loved ones who care for your well-being is also very special. Not all of us have that sort of love and support. Like Model T was saying- take time to realize what exactly you have today, and it will proliferate tomorrow! I generally do 5 a day. I list mine publicly on 43Things so I have a network of people who I can support and who support me each day.
    2.) Appreciation lists- just like on the DVD. I would not bother saving those lists for when you are having problems. I try to do them once a week. I focus on the great qualities of those around me, and it makes it easier to pinpoint and focus on those qualities when I am with them.
    3.) Problem-solve. This is less- LoA focused and more therapeutically focused. Writing down a list of the stressors, and then focusing your energy on positive ways of solving the problem can make all those rapid bouncing thoughts slow down and it helps really put things in perspective. Look up the steps to problem solving.
    4.) Self-care. Do something nice for yourself *at least* once a day! Show yourself how much you care for you! You are definitely worth it.

    I focus on making things visual and writing everything down because it takes problems out of the air and condenses them into little words on a piece of paper. This is much more manageable than abstract thoughts. It makes things a bit more quantifiable.
    You asked for help and advice here. You are socially networking for support beyond family. This is a tremendous step. I applaud your bravery!
    Take care, and keep us posted on when you find your income =)
    • Thank you, Thalia. Since, I have already started journaling, I am using the methods that you have listed to help stay positive.
  • I went through a lot of fear and depression recently. I did not lose my job, but a lot of other stuff has been happening that made me fear the future, especially in the financial matters. What I did was, I made up my mind that I will not get depressed over these things. I said to myself, "I refuse to get anxious, fearful and depressed!"

    I pasted some inspiring quotes around the house and in my home office. I layed some of the Secret checks around the house to remind myself that my job is not my only source of income. I said (and still say) affirmations everyday. I flooded my head with podcasts of the Secret messages. I listen to my ipod with these messages everyday while at work and during my long commute to work. I read the Secret book or articles whenever I get a chance.

    The key is to not allow yourself to stay depressed or fearful for too long. You can acknowlege you are upset, but try to replace the negative thoughts with some postive thoughts. If you keep the negative thoughts close to you, you will end up attracting more of what you don't want. You want to send positive vibration, so you will get the good things in life.

    Use this time to plan your wedding. Don't let your old bosses win by affecting your relationships. They are not worth it. I lost relationships due to stress at work and those jobs are gone and those bosses and coworkers are out of my life.
    • Thank you everyone for your support!

      I have been trying many things to help me focus on getting back on track. I've started by journaling my thoughts, of anything on my mind such as what I want in life and what I am grateful for. I also try to getting out of my house, by going to a local coffee shop or going swimming in my pool to help me relax.

      On Monday, I am going to be meeting with an ex co-worker who I worked closely with at my old job. I am hoping that talking to her will help give me some closure as well help me forgive for what happened to me.

      I am also going to begin in taking some free computer classes in learning web design. I am a graphic designer by trade and the job market for print design is a bit slow here in San Diego. With building more web skills I hope to create an online portfolio, as well as improve my skills and improve my chances of getting a great new job.

      I thank everyone here for helping me lift my spirits. : )
    • That is good that you are building online portfolio. I would suggest you go on a site "">www.allgraphicdesign.com


      You will find many articles about freelancing and the practical stuff. There is no cost, so this is not spam. This site helped me a great deal when I just started freelancing. I don't do a lot of freelancing now, because I am too busy. But I did for a while and it was very good.

      Keep in mind, when economy is slow. Many design companies lay off staff and hire freelancers. My freelance gig became a full time job for me (the job I am working now).
      This site is under development
    • This link may be printing funny after I make the link but it still works.

      Cheers!

      Kris
    • Thanks, Kris. I'll definitely take a look at this to help me get started.
    • WOW, you're getting married? You found your soul mate...that's awesome stuff.

      A job and money are fantastic to have, but finding and being with your soul mate...well, that's priceless....so, what is your worth?

      I'm confident that things will work out for you perfectly by next May...everything happens for a reason...b/c of the laws of the universe..take time to realize and be grateful for what you HAVE today...sounds like, good health, a wealth of love and a future filled with happiness.

      Many blessings to you.
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