Co-Creation With "Conflicting" Desires

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Kicking off with two quotes just as I found them...more to come in the thread....
There's also a discussion thread here: Co-Creation And Others

'The Universe can please all of you at the same time. "Well, how can
that be? If I want to live in the mountains and she wants to live at
the ocean, how could the Universe possibly please us both?" And we
say, as each of you gets to the essence of why you want what you
want, and are not pointing at the other and saying, "No, no, not
that, please not that," the Universe can fulfill both.'
Abraham-Hicks Jan/Feb/March newsletter 2002
Forbidden Belly Button Ring
GUEST: I don't get along with my father very well. He has very
contradictory ideas about what I want to do, and I was wondering, if
he wants something very strongly... Well, I want to pierce my belly
button and he does not want me to do that. It's like a sin, and so if
he is wanting very much for me to have a whole complete belly button
without any holes or anything, and I am wanting to have a belly ring,
how will that work out?

ABRAHAM: All right, now, let us show you what's happening here.
Teenagers are the one example in all of the Universe that defies the
Law of Attraction as we know it to be. (group laughs) We are having
fun with you. What happens with any two groups or two armies or any
two people that are wanting something different from the other...what
happens is, as your father knows clearly what he does not want and
gives that his attention, he is disempowered, which makes him mad at
you, because it is his attention to you that makes him feel so bad.
As you see your father as someone big and strong and in your way from
what you want, you are disempowered, which makes you want to blame
him for the way you feel. You're both using each other as your excuse
to not be connected to your Energy Stream.

So as each of you, independently from each other, focuses upon what
you don't want, momentarily, because that's always the best way to
identify what you do want... So your father would say, "Well I know
what I don't want. I don't want her puncturing her body. I know what
I don't want. I don't want her wearing something that is a symbol of
something that I don't feel comfortable with. It could mean any
number of things. But it is representation of something that I am not
at one with. I don't want her getting a belly button ring because I
wouldn't get one. I don't want her getting a belly ring because it
makes her appear to be something other than what I want her to appear
to be." Now, having said that, his desire may be erupting within him,
and so then he could begin saying, "What I want to include, relative
to my daughter, is I want her to be so at one with who she is that
she acknowledges that all is well with her. I want her to feel so
self-sufficient about who she is that she doesn't have to do anything
faddish in order to fit in. I want her to feel so confident and so
comfortable and so connected to who she is that she just radiates the
essence of that and doesn't feel any desire to go the way of the fad.
I want her to acknowledge that her magnificent body is young and
beautiful and delicious, and I want her desire to be to hold it in
that place forevermore." Now, if your father is saying those kinds of
things to you, we don't think you'd feel so much resistance about it.
When he taps into the pure essence of his Nonphysical Energy and
expresses that to you, you would not feel nearly so much resistance
Now, let's say that you're saying, "I don't want somebody telling me
what I can and cannot do. I don't want somebody else making their
decisions for me. I don't want somebody else making the decisions
about what I do with my own body." So you know what you don't want.
And then you begin making your statements of inclusion. "I want my
daddy to realize that I'm all grown up. I want him to know that I
really know what I'm doing. I want to be self-sufficient. I want to

All of a sudden, when you both start including, you find yourself
saying the same kinds of things. In other words, you are in absolute
harmony about what you want. And the belly ring is superfluous to any
of it. Get it or don't get it. It doesn't matter. You can both still
have what you want.
Abraham-Hicks Jan/Feb/Mar 1997 newsletter

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  • thanks to the movie maker and Esther for speaking Abraham and managing such a magnificent organization to continue bringing this work to us.

  • found on youtube, thanks!

  • “In the moment that you are interacting with another, who asks you a question, and you begin to answer the question, now at many levels of your being, you’re trying to factor in their response to what you’re about. In other words, no-one, even those who live with you, no-one can understand your points of vibrational relativity. And the more you talk to them, the more you integrate what they’re doing and thinking. What’s happening is, in your sensitivity to energy, you’re concerning yourself with more than your two points of vibrational relativity, and whenever you do that, chaos ensues.”

    (06-04-22A San Antonio TX, © Abraham-Hicks Publications)
  • No matter how intensely intertwined you find yourself with another person, your relationship is affected many times more by the thoughts that are moving around in your own mind than by the other person who is moving around in your house or in your life experience. That is why it is so interesting to us to see people working so hard at controlling one another while working very little on controlling their own thoughts and perceptions --- especially since they have no real control over another and they do have complete control of their own thoughts and perceptions.

    - Abraham-Hicks -
  • Should We Persist In Wanting Our Wants?

    Guest: I'm looking for tools to have better clarity quicker. Often, because I know that it's better to have nothing in my life in a certain area than to be doing something that I'm not interested in, I'll clear the decks and I'll see a Stick (subject) and it'll interest me. I'll pick it up and I'll run with it for awhile, and then it's no longer interesting to me. It's no longer bringing me positive thoughts. So I'll drop it. Then I'll go on and pick the next Stick up. And so, would it be in my better interest to stick with that one Stick (subject) and work with letting go of negative thoughts?

    "Clearing the Deck" Eliminates Your Launching Pad
    Abraham: Maybe, or to carry more sticks at the same time. In other words, a very fun and effective tool is, let's say you are feeling unfulfilled about something, and so you imagine doing something different. And even though the idea of it isn't a very strong idea, you still go with it just to see what it will give you. You just play it out: Pretend it either way. Pretend that you are doing it, and then pretend that you don't do it. And often, out of that will be born another idea, or another idea, or another idea.

    But most of you are accustomed to responding to the reality that you are living -- and so, you are having knee-jerk responses to what already is. You said, "often I find it's better to just clear the deck." So it's sort of like wiping away your launching pad. It is often more beneficial to stand right where you are, even if it's in a place that you don't want to be, so much, and let the contrast net you a really good rocket of desire.

    Any subject that you take, if you will run with it long enough, it will do one of two things: It will either produce more clarity of what is wanted, or more clarity of what is not wanted. It will stir something up. And in either way you win, because all genius is, is attention to a subject. So if you get hold of something, and you really focus on it, the Universe is going to give you more information about it.

    What often happens, though, is that you're sort of running in two directions with it. You're going with it because you don't know what else to do, but you're not enjoying it fully. And so, you're fanning both ends of that "Stick," which gives you the feeling that you're standing still, until finally it just becomes unpleasant, and then you just put the "Stick" down.

    Don't spend much time doing anything that isn't feeling really, really good. If it doesn't get to feeling good, pretty darn fast, then leave it and reach for another.

    How Jerry & Esther Attracted Lovable Cat
    The other day Jerry and Esther were in Louisiana. It was the last night that they would be on the road before they would be back in their bed in Texas. And Esther looked out the motor coach window as Jerry was checking the air in the tires, and there was a little cat rubbing up against his legs, and Esther could hear Jerry talking to the little cat. And Esther could hear a new relationship already developing. And then Esther looked out of the door and saw this adorable little cat, it has no tail, it was born with no tail. It was so alive and eager and in love with life -- and Esther, immediately, before she even touched it, fell in love with it. And so, then Esther said what she has said many, many times about many, many beasts: "Would you like to come to Texas and live with me?" At which point Jerry always says, "Oh, no, you know what our agreement is."

    But this time, Jerry did not say, "Oh, no!" And so, Esther got her foot in that door really, really fast. And then, Esther saw Jerry going off to the office of the RV park, and she followed him in and heard him asking the woman, there, who the little cat belonged to. And the woman said, "I don't know, it showed up with someone, it has been here for awhile. There's another one sort of like it..." She said, "I wish you would take this cat home with you." And Jerry laughed saying nothing more.

    And now, Esther is thinking, I'm going to take this little cat to Texas, if all goes well. And then they take a walk and the little cat follows them, and they spend time with the cat. Then they close the door and get ready for bed. About that time, someone knocks on the door, and it is the same woman, now holding the cat. She is saying to them, "I really wish you would take this cat." And Esther is thinking, I don't know how this is going to work out. And she says, "We'll let you know in the morning, we need to talk about it."

    Now Esther does not want to talk about it, because she does not want to get the no answer too soon. She is enjoying the fantasy of this. And so, she goes to bed, and she cannot sleep. And then she plays the game: We have taken the cat to Texas. And then she plays the game: We have not taken the cat to Texas. And it doesn't seem to matter which way she goes. She cannot find her place within it, because she is not wanting to displease Jerry. It's not that important to her.

    And the she stumbled across the thought, I have met hundreds of cats and I've never met a cat like this. She could feel herself really wanting the cat. And so, in the middle of the night she awakened, and Jerry was awake, struggling with the same dilemma about the cat. Because it is not a cat they will travel with in the motor coach, it really is a cat they will just take back for their staff to tend to. And so, Esther said, "Well, what do you think about this?: If we wake up in the morning and the little cat is nowhere around, we will leave it, and that will be the end of it. But if we wake up in the morning and the little cat is on our doorstep, then we will take it as a sign that the little cat wants to go, and that the Universe has orchestrated it, and we'll take the little cat." And with that, Esther slept like a baby.

    Now, this didn't come easily. This was over a period of many hours of considering and contemplating. The desire wasn't that great in the beginning, it was sort of a game. But the more Esther thought about it, the more Jerry thought about it -- the stronger the intentions got. The intention of the cat is in on it, too. There are lots of dynamics, from far before they met the cat, that are all in motion around this.

    So, in the morning they awakened and there's no cat anywhere. And Esther said, "I think I will go (Here Kitty, Kitty) take the garbage out, (Here Kitty, Kitty)" teasing with Jerry. And Jerry is laughing, saying, "Now remember, that is not our deal." And Esther said, "I would not do that, I was just kidding." And so, Jerry was out pulling in the hoses, and unplugging things, and Esther was, in her mind, saying "Here Kitty, Kitty," and there was no cat anywhere to be seen, even though there'd been many cats around the day before. Not a cat anywhere in sight.

    And so, now they are ready to go, and Esther was in the driver's seat, and she buckled her seat belt, and she said, "Well, I guess that is that." And she started the engine. And as the engine was roaring, across the grass came bounding the little cat. Here she was, coming right to their motor home! Jerry opened the door and said, "Well, little cat, it looks like you're going to San Antonio." And the little cat said, "Yes I am," as she bounded inside.

    Any thought that you begin with is only what it is. But the more attention you give to it, and the more you play it against other things... this is the way you hone an idea. This is the pleasure of creating. Now this seemed like a very fast manifestation, but you would have to understand the whole of this story. This was a very long creation in the making. This was a very specific cat that came in response to a very specific vibration. And both Jerry and Esther recognized that it was something out of the ordinary as it was unfolding. Enough so that neither one of them were willing to just close the door on it and say "no," even though that had been the pattern. There was something there worth sniffing out. And the more they sniffed, the bigger it got. And the bigger it got, the more they sniffed, and the more they sniffed, the bigger it got, the bigger it got, and the better it felt. And the better it felt, the better it felt, the better it felt -- until the manifestation was powerful and exhilarating.

    When Your Partner is Wanting Something Different?
    Guest: I have a question around when there's a partner involved who may want something different...?

    Abraham: That's what this story was about for you. In other words, Jerry has made decisions long ago, no pets. They don't fit. Can't take them with you, you can't leave them home. He has had beloved beasts in his life, before, that made their transition and broke his heart. He had strong determination about that. Esther loves the beasts, but not more than loving Jerry's satisfaction with how things are. And so, it never was very important to Esther. Esther was sort of setting her desire aside, not painfully.

    There's always a big dilemma. If I want this and you want that, how do we come together? And we say, hold the idea, softly, with no resistance -- until the Universe delivers the circumstances and events that make it compatible for all.

    Through these years, Esther and Jerry have attracted two adorable cats now. Party Cat was born in their garage, and then just sort of started showing up at parties, and then became Permanent Cat. But if Esther had, every day, said, "Well if you really love me, you would let me have a cat," which would cause Jerry to remind her of what the agreement was, then they would just be these two resistant beings that are having a pretty good life except relative to the subject called cat. And then, over time, they just learn never to pick that Stick up -- because it's not good for their relationship.

    But Esther didn't push it. Actually, she attracted the cat into her life in the same way that she attracted Jerry into her life. She just sort of kidded him in. She sang songs to him like, "I'd be surprisingly good for you..." until he caught onto the melody.

    Just start somewhere, wherever you are, and reach for the thought that feels good, and reach for the thought that feels good, and reach for the thought that feels good, until, before you know it, you're surrounded by delicious thoughts that you are constantly molding together.

    That's what this individual or even collective creating is about. Once you get the hang of it, you take the thought and then you hold the thought for the pleasure of the thought. And the thought will expand. We promise you, it will expand. It cannot not. If you hold a thought for as little as 17 seconds, it must become more. Law of attraction says it must become more.

    If you get really positive about something, it will grow into something that you are wanting. If you get really negative about it, it will grow into something you really don't want -- which will give a rocket of desire of what you do what.

    Excerpted from the workshop in Phoenix, AZ on Saturday, February 19th, 2000
  • Yes, thank you! That was what i needed!
  • If you want something different than they want, and just mind your own
    business and focus on what you want, the Universe will find a way to give
    you what you want. But if you focus on what they want, which isn't what
    you want, then you have activated what they want in your vibration instead
    of what you want. And THEN, you get what they want, and you are mad at them
    because you think they always get what they want all the time.

    The reason they get what they want is because you activated what they wanted
    in your experience. You activated what they wanted, not by wanting what
    they wanted, but by giving your attention to what they wanted.

    If this one wants something different than this one, and this one ONLY
    focuses upon what he wants, Law of Attraction must bring it to him.

    If this one only focuses on what she wants, Law of Attraction must bring her
    what she wants.

    So now you've got two people, getting what they want.

    What usually happens is that he isn't pure about what he wants, because he
    is so busy thinking about what she wants. And she isn't pure about what she
    wants, because she is so busy thinking about what he wants. So now neither
    are a match to what they want, and neither of them are getting what they
    want, and both of them are blaming the other...

    You see it in elections all the time.

    You see it in almost every relationship. She's getting what you want and
    you're getting what she wants because you're often thinking more about what
    she wants than about what you want. "Stupid thing for her to want!"

    In other words, you work against yourself. And when you work against
    yourself, you often help your opposition. That's what we meant when we stay
    it happens in elections. A lot of politicians beat themselves. It's all
    about focusing.

    Stamford, CT 6/14/09
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