Grief or Joy on Journey to Ithaka?
Excerpted from the Abraham-Hicks workshop in Syracuse, NY on Saturday, October 16th, 1999
Question: My mother died about three months ago. And I’ve been having a lot of experiences that tell me that she wanted to go. She was ready to go. Those parts feel good, and I feel pretty clear about that. But what I want to know about is grief. Sometimes I just feel it, and it’s like a missing her and a grief. I’m just wondering. Can it be like joy? If I’m connected to my true self and having Pure Positive Energy, sometimes can it be that feeling of grief as opposed to joy? Does it always have to be a happy thing?
Abraham: Well, we're appreciating your probing here about emotions, because when an emotion is a very strong emotion, it's easier to identify what it is. When you're having a hard time knowing if something is the emotion of joy or the emotion of grief, sometimes probing a little further will help you to identify.
This morning, when Esther awakened, Jerry was in a very connected, good feeling state. He could hardly wait for Esther to wake up and get focused into the day, because he had something he really wanted to visit with her about. He had been reading a paper that someone had given to him some time ago. As he read it to Esther, he could not stop crying. It was moving him on such a deep level. And Esther said to him, "Is this joy that you're feeling, or sadness?" It was hard for her to tell what he was feeling, because he was feeling moved.
When you're talking about the subject of death, there is not much that connects you more to your feeling of Source, or to your feeling of wholeness, than that. And so, we wouldn't spend too much time trying to figure out if it's a feeling of joy. We wouldn't try to label the feeling so much. If it's a feeling that you want to go back to, then we would say it's a feeling of connection. If it's a feeling that you just hate when it comes over you, and you feel relieved when it goes away, then we would say it is a feeling of disconnection.
We would not use the term, grief, for it. We would say, it is a deeper connection that is inspired by my attention to the passing into Nonphysical of my mother. The reason that you call it grief is because you've been programmed to believe that you should feel bad about death.
Why do we grieve over deceased friends?
Guest: But I miss her. So then I say to myself, "Well does that mean it's lack?" I just miss her.
Abraham: Well, the feeling of missing someone, that is grief. And it's natural.
We are eager to talk about this, because it is something that all of you will experience. Some of you can experience grief just in thinking about it, and any time you are thinking about something that you do not want, you feel negative emotion.
We think it would be helpful to talk about why it is that the death of someone that you care about is something that you do not want. Let's talk about that. You say, "I miss her." Amplify that just a little bit. You said she was ready to go. What did you mean by that? Let us ask you some questions here: Did you see your mother, in her days before her making her transition, as someone who the contrast was producing Rockets of Desire that she was taking pleasure in focusing upon? In other words, was this physical experience still producing things that...(looking at Jerry) read your Ithaka thing. Hear this, it fits together here.
Jerry: Can you read? Through Esther's eyes, I mean?
Abraham: We can. It is better if you do. We will, if you are wanting.
(Abraham reads Journey to Ithaka by C.P. Cavafy)
As you set out for Ithaka
hope the voyage is a long one,
full of adventure, full of discovery.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
angry Poseideon -- don't be afraid of them
you'll never find things like that on your way
as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,
as long as a rare excitement
stirs your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
wild Poseidon -- you won't encounter them
unless you bring them along inside your soul,
unless your soul sets them up in front of you.
Hope the voyage is a long one.
May there be many a summer morning when,
with what pleasure, what joy,
you come into harbors seen for the first time;
may you stop at Phoenician trading stations
to buy fine things,
mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
sensual perfume of every kind --
as many sensual perfumes you can;
and may you visit many Egyptian cities
to gather stores of knowledge from their scholars.
Keep Ithaka always in your mind.
Arriving there is what you are destined for.
But do not hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts for years,
so you are old by the time you reach the island,
wealthy with all you've gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.
Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.
Without her you would not have set out.
She has nothing left to give you now.
And if you find her poor,
Ithaka won't have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become,
so full of experience,
you will have understood by then what these
Whoever wrote that knows what we know: It is never about the manifestation. It is about the desire that summons the life. It is about the object of attention that causes the inspiration to move forward. And so, we think that when someone makes their transition into Nonphysical, that the reason that it often touches you at a very deep level that you do not understand, aside from the superfluous missing of them in the kitchen, or whatever, we think the reason that it reaches you so deeply, is because there's a part of you that recognizes that an Ithaka, for them, no longer exists in this physical time/space reality. That this environment is no longer producing the desire that is summoning them forward along this path.
We're wanting you to understand that an Ithaka, so to speak, of much greater proportion is now calling them -- beyond what this format can provide for them -- into the eternalness.
The grief that you feel is usually about it feeling like an ending. At a level that you don't even consciously understand, you understand the eternalness of your being. And you love this feeling of wanting that continues to summon you forward. When someone makes their transition, what that always means, always, always, always, means, no exceptions ever, what it always means is -- this time/space reality is no longer producing the stuff that summons them forward here. But it does not mean that they are not continuing to be summoned forward. They are being summoned by the Broader Knowing.
There is never a reason to feel any grief about the reemergence. It is a new beginning of extraordinary proportion. It is a goal, it is an objective, it is a knowing that is calling, that is so powerful that there is a joyous romping beyond description. If you could feel the way those Nonphysical Energies feel once they have made their transition and they are refocused from that broader perspective, having left behind any resistance that has kept this place from being that for them, you would never again feel that for them.
Is your grief for them,or yourself?
Now, sometimes in that passing of them, you feel it a little for yourself. Because there is a part of you that is stirred, a Soul part of you that helps you, on even a cellular level, to remember that you are here intending to find things that call you forward. And often a passing of another makes you question, even in ways that you can't consciously put into words, "What is here for me? How well am I utilizing this time/space reality in calling me forward?" And we think that this feeling of discomfort, that you are feeling, is producing a new Rocket of Desire within you that's going to cause you to begin focusing upon, "Well, here I am. I have many happy years left. What am I wanting to do? How am I wanting to draw Energy through me, here?"
These words are so wonderful that have been spoken to you here about Ithaka, because what it is saying is: When physical life experience causes a focus within you that summons Life Force to you -- then you are alive. And if you are, in your physical body, not allowing that promise of what is new to keep calling through... if you are so aware of where you stand, so that most of your thoughts are about where you stand, so that there is no calling forward -- then it is time for you to be called forward into the vaster Nonphysical perspective. And we think that's what you're feeling.
My loved one has died. Now what?
If we were standing in your physical shoes, we would utilize this negative emotion in a very powerful way. We would say, "This negative emotion that I am feeling, I am calling it grief, but it is about discontent, it is about questioning my own beingness. It's about wondering who I'm about or what we're all about. I'm going to figure this out. I'm going to find more things in every day to give me the feeling of joy. By darn, I'm going to find them. I'm going to find more things to be exhilarated about." We think that's what this is all about for you. And for most.
Guidelines for Classroom of Diverse Resistant Beings
Question: I'm a teacher. And in my classroom I have 30 students, and they've all got their own agenda that they're there to do, and I've got my agenda that I have to do. And I try to inspire them by doing little things, and sometimes they think I'm crazy and I've completely lost it... And sometimes I try to be the good teacher and lay everything all out and be very organized. And I haven't reached a balance where I feel that I'm moving forward in a way that I feel comfortable. I feel like I'm sort of pushing against what the other teachers are going to think of me, and against what I'm supposed to be doing.
Abraham: Your opening words to us are really the heart of the solution for you, when you said, I have 30 students in my classroom that are vibrating all over the place. Is the class that you are giving them, something that they desire, or is it something that is a requirement for something else that they desire? (It's a requirement.)
And so, do you think if they had their choice they would be there or not? (They wouldn't be there.)
Teacher, a Key Person Providing Pivotal Moments
You may have heard us say that we would never answer a question that is not being asked, because it is a waste of everyone's time. And so, you are bucking a very big curent when you say, "I'm here to give you something that you're not asking for." So what you're wanting to do, as a teacher, is to find a way to inspire their wanting. The most important thing that you can do for any of them is to activate within them a desire to know. Let that be your dominant quest.
The guidelines that they have given you and the information that you are to impart to the students, is sort of like basic stuff. You've learned all of that. And now, you are standing there waiting for them to call the inspiration through you. And, in order to be a catalyst along the way, you can see them as wanting to know -- even though they don't really know what they want to know.
This is what your students want to know
We'd like to tell you some of the things your students want to know: They want to know that learning is easy. They want to know that they are intelligent people and that they are adored by their instructor. They want to know that life is supposed to be fun. They want to know that life will unfold for them in magical ways. They want to know a whole lot of things that you know that is outside the curriculum that you are there to impart, even though they want to know some of that too. So, as you see yourself, we would, every day, on our way there, we would see ourselves as this extraordinary vortex that is a conduit between what they want to know and the knowledge that will flow forth. In other words, you are the interpreter of vibration.
Through your smile you will let them know they are adored. Through your confidence you will let them know that all is well. Through your lightheartedness you will let them know the world is a happy place. Through your clarity you will help them to know that they too can be clear. Through your humor you will help them to know how fun life can be... You have so much to impart to your students!
And the way we would practice it is, we would take one or two students that stand out in your mind's eye as those who are having a good time in your class, or those who have been inspired or uplifted by you, and we would hold them as a model that you focus upon often in order to generate that feeling within you of your effectiveness. What's baffling is, you have a bunch of kids that don't want to be there, and their not wanting to be there often becomes the dominant vibration. And then, you feel like: "Why am I here?" And then, you do all kinds of things that you don't even feel very connected about, to try to get their attention, which just makes you nerdier to them. And so, then the separation between you and them just gets greater and greater.
The more they act like that, the more you act like that, and the more you act like that, the more they act like that. You see, you are not one of their peers. You know what they do not yet know. And they would never accept you as one of their peers, because there's too much thought of who you are (their teacher), that is in the mass consciousness, anyway. What you are wanting to do is identify: "Who am I to them?" And we'll tell you who you are to them.
Joyful teacher's influence in a student's experience
You are the bridge to your students' connection. You are the bridge to their sense of well-being. You are a catalyst to much insight that will flow. And once you connect with all of that, you will be someone that they will never forget. These are some of the best times of their physical experience. They are at this place of powerful wanting. The whole world seems stretched out before them. And while they may have no real idea about the paths that they are going to follow, what they most want to know is: "Some path that I take will lead me to some good place."
There is nothing that you could give them that would be more important for them to hear from you than the knowledge that whether they learn from you or not, whether they ever hear a word that you speak -- you are joyful in your work. "In this moment in time, there is no place that I would rather be than as a conduit for you to summon through me. There is no place in all of the world that I would rather be right now, than right here helping you know whatever it is that you want to know." And once you get that across to them (you can do that rather easily) there is no end to the wanting and the spontaneity and the clarity and the cleverness that will come forth.
See yourself as a sort of conductor, and here are all these bright minds, not even for sure knowing what they want to know. And as one asks a question that evokes some clarity, it will spawn another and another and another. And before you know it, you'll have a magical dance in this classroom around the framework of what's in the book. But it will go so far beyond, until you will, in very short order, be known as one of those teachers: "The best teacher I ever had. That's the teacher that taught me how to think. That's the teacher who inspired me with the knowledge that I can figure this out. That's the teacher that lit my fire. It was in that classroom that I really discovered who I am." Those are the kinds of things that will be born out of that, so much, much more than the curriculum of that class.
Excerpted from the Abraham-Hicks workshop in Syracuse, NY on Saturday, October 16th, 1999