help please??

Hi allI need some help in my relationship.It is a same sex relationship.My girlfriend is suddenly hit with grief of her mother's passing three years ago. She is in a dark place right now.This took a massive turn for the worse a week ago when her ex contacted her claiming my girlfriend has ruined her life and torn her heart to shreads. The ex told this to her in person as she arrived at her home. She told it to my girlfriends son, family and friends. She said she wants my girlfriend back.My girlfriend said she now feels guilty because she knows how it feels to lose someone- her mom, and so she ferls horrible tgat she has put this pain onto her ex.She says she hates how her family and friends look at her now that she has broken this woman's heart also.She said her ex helped her through the loss of her mother and by all means was very supportive. However, this woman had a drug problem which my girlfriends family and friends do not know about which contributed to my girlfriend falling out of love with her. She waa also very controlling and my girlfriend was unhappy for over a year- again the family and friends no nothing of this and my girlfriend will not speak badly of anyone so they will never know.Last night my girlfriend who I see as the true love and liggt of my life, talked to me some. Saying she needs space. She is going to start bereavement counselling and says she feels numb. Her friend- who her ex has been contacting- had advised her to break things off with me. We talked and talked and last nights conversation ended in my telling her I will give her space as long as she needs and that I will not just give up and walk away... she said "I hope you don't, even through all of this madness" ... she also said to me that she feels the need to push me away so as not to hurt me or destroy us.What I need is for hee ex to go away. To stoo contacting her friends and family. My girlfriend went to meet her to tell her this and was met with tears and begging and has been made to feel massive amounts of guilt and responsibility for tbe happiness of another person.My question is this: can I make this ex stop doing this. Make her cut ties and leave us alone?

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  • Please don´t worry too much about this situation: Grief can really change a person(but only temporarilly!) Give your girlfriend a bit of space, while telling her you are there for her  if she would accept any help from you. But please try  to be patient, she is having a hard time right now. She needs to, at this time, go through her grieving process. She definitely does not want her ex back,so don´t worry!  she only wants to get through this tragedy. It is a common reaction that people tend to push away their loved ones when they are going through a hard time. Don´t take it personally, she will come back! Tell her how you feel about her being still in contact with her ex, but please try to be rational and not get too emotional about it.

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